Donor egg update - ups and downs

We've been moving forward toward our donor egg cycle at what feels like a snail's pace.

We found a donor we really liked, and who looks a lot like me at one of the frozen egg banks. We were matched with her and set to get a cohort of 11 eggs.

We passed through the gauntlet of testing at a new New York-based clinic (after the Denver clinic only had 4 donors on their list, we kind of gave up on them, sadly).

The new NY clinic nurse called me and we spoke about my complicated history for almost an hour. Everything seemed to be a go.

I started to get excited. We were looking at cycling next month in April.

Then the phone rang. It was the frozen egg bank. They said they had somehow overlooked that this donor's eggs can ship anywhere except for one state - NY. That they hadn't asked her at the time of her donation how many sexual partners she had had in the past year when she donated (New York stipulates that you can't have had more than two sex partners in the past year). That they hadn't asked her age on some specific form, even though her records clearly state her age. Because of New York's crazy requirements that are apparently more onerous than any other state, the match was off.

I thought we had been on the fresh donor match waiting list at the new clinic for several months as well. We'd asked to get on that list as a back up, just in case. Then I found out that no, we weren't on the list. I had failed to send in a picture of myself, and so we would be at the back of the line, but not even added to the line until a picture of me and Will was received. Of course no one had bothered to mention this to us, despite multiple conversations.

I felt so frustrated. We just want to move forward.

Today I spoke to the medical director of the new clinic, who is our doctor. He doesn't usually handle donor cycles, but because he's been someone we've consulted with throughout the years, he agreed to take our case. I told him about what happened with the frozen egg bank, and he commiserated. I told him about what happened with the fresh donor list at his own clinic and he was really upset. While we were on the phone, he wrote a stern email to his team about it. He said he would see what he could do.

Ten minutes later, one of the nurses called and said they have a donor in mind for us. She apparently looks like me and apparently has other similarities. She is currently cycling for another couple, but if she does well and wants to donate again, the nurse said we should strongly consider her.

It's been a week of highs and lows. Of imagining we'll be pregnant again very soon and then despair and now hope. But I don't want to hope too much until something for sure comes through.

So stay tuned....hopefully there will be progress soon... but who knows. It feels completely out of our hands.

Mo

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Big girl bed - interim report update

Thank you all for your thoughts and suggestions on how to help Ms. Magpie transition to the toddler bed. 

She's doing really well. We've gone from her getting up several times a night to now where she often stays in bed all night quietly until the morning, or, less optimally, stays in bed all night but calls for us at some point either because she is scared or because she thinks it's time to get up.

Both are huge improvements from where things were at originally, with her being up and in our room repeatedly, and often ending up in our bed by the morning after we eventually surrendered out of sheer exhaustion. 

We've employed a number of the suggestions that you recommended. 

First and foremost, we introduced a sticker chart:

For every night that Magpie stays in bed the ENTIRE night, she gets a sticker on this chart.

Next we moved on to edible positive reinforcers, in the form of CANDY:

We were pretty tired and desperate, so we worried the sticker incentive might not be enough. So we sweetened the pot, with a prize of a GUMMY BUTTERFLY, which is awarded immediately upon awakening, if Magpie stays in bed the ENTIRE night. This turns out to be a very powerful reward, so Magpie almost always does everything she can to earn a gummy butterfly. Who knew?




Finally, we went on Amazon and bought ourselves a bunny toddler clock:

On the advice of many of you, we purchased a (surprisingly expensive!) toddler clock so that Magpie would know when nighttime is over and she can get up for the day. She is very attuned to what the bunny is doing and really tries with this. She stays in bed almost all the time, but doesn't usually quite seem to get the idea yet that we want her to be in bed and QUIET. So we still need to iron that small but significant detail out.

Last night, for the first time, Magpie didn't call out for us and she got up when the bunny did, but played quietly in her room. When I went in to get her, she was up, had turned on the lights, and had her doll, her Lambie, and a toy tiger all out and surrounding her on the floor. All fine by me. So we are moving in the right direction. Yay for sticker charts, positive reinforcers, and toddler clocks.

Most of all, yay for sleep!!

Thank you so much for your help getting us this far!

 Mo

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Big girl bed! And big girl bed problems

As of the new year, Magpie moved into a "big girl bed" from her crib. She loves the bed. she loves being a big girl. And it is great not to have to lift her in and out of the crib. She is super proud of herself, and we are proud of her too.

But I am also very tired.

Along with the move to a bed has come a move to many more sleep interruptions for the whole family.

I'm so tired that I can't quite quantify it, but I'm guessing she's up at least three times a night now, ultimately ending up crawling into our bed by the third wake up.

And so, I am turning to you - I think we need a toddler clock type device to teach her when she can and can't get up. I looked on Amazon, and there are several options. Are there any specific devices that have worked for you? Any that were a disappointment?

And is there something besides a toddler clock that I should be considering?

Any help is most (yawn!) appreciated!

Mo

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