tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5160381109996491098.post6701874159175694910..comments2024-01-02T06:57:26.352-05:00Comments on Life and Love in the Petri Dish: Physical symptoms and fear, 6w2dUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger42125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5160381109996491098.post-5115604848799558752012-04-09T00:13:10.342-04:002012-04-09T00:13:10.342-04:00Nothing since March 5... I am missing your updates...Nothing since March 5... I am missing your updates (read often, never note). Hope all is well.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5160381109996491098.post-33772754938748696392012-03-05T19:23:16.609-05:002012-03-05T19:23:16.609-05:00Wishing you only the best Mo. As for anon's co...Wishing you only the best Mo. As for anon's comment, clearly no perspective on her part esp, regarding fertility stuff. boo to her!RDRhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14790668803491994545noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5160381109996491098.post-53731774013500000992012-03-05T18:22:35.227-05:002012-03-05T18:22:35.227-05:00Wow, what a level-headed, high-road answer to Anon...Wow, what a level-headed, high-road answer to Anonymous' mean-spirited comment. You show such restraint in the midst of the most life-changing stress.<br /><br />So sweet that the tech remembered you, and asked how everything was going.<br /><br />On the u/s front, do what feels right to you. Finding higher quality equipment would probably be helpful, I think. <br /><br />We saw 3 yolk sacs at 20dp3dt and 3 heartbeats at 6w5d. Thought we'd walk out of there without seeing the 3rd HB, but after many agonizing minutes of scanning and rescanning, we were able to see it flickering. One of our girls had a VERY big sac in comparison to the other 2, but all developed on track in utero. Btw, our RE had very high-tec equipment. I was the first person they tried it on - very worthwhile to see early u/s in higher definition, color coded.<br /><br />The heightened sense of smell is such a weird pg symptom. I usually love coffee and chocolate, but couldn't come anywhere near it. Forget buying groceries and going anywhere near the cleaning products or toiletries. Blegh! You are most definitely so very, very, very pregnant. <br /><br />Hoping for the best possible u/s for you. xxWhat IF?http://ginnegaap.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5160381109996491098.post-67487649767273603332012-03-05T17:58:34.371-05:002012-03-05T17:58:34.371-05:00I've been accused of wanting a 'perfect...I've been accused of wanting a 'perfect' child by a relative- because I raved about how awesome my donor was. It actually hurt a lot, especially since it had come after two miscarriages. I could not care HOW the child looked, how smart or accomplished he or she is, all I desperately want is that my child be well, ALIVE and hopefully healthy. Going through infertility sharpens your focus, taking away all your superficial fears and leaving you with what really matters. Anon is a freaking idiot (just like my relative, who interesting,has an almost pathologically narcissistic personality).<br /><br />I definitely echo the opinion to get a better machine for the next u/s. I don't know if you need to make yourself wait till week 7, a u/s at 6 w 4-5 days SHOULD be conclusive as a week 7 u/s, one way or the other.<br /><br />I'm the queen of trying to think rationally (I succeed as far as other people's situations are considered, it seems). Based on all the facts, you are in a completely new game here, compared to all your other pregnancies, which, PROBABLY, 5/6 were because of gross chromosomal abnormalities. So,yeah, while you can't know anything for a while, this one IS with lower risks.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15553205805046479504noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5160381109996491098.post-33329298069410226372012-03-05T17:32:12.215-05:002012-03-05T17:32:12.215-05:00Hope your beta comes back showing a great number t...Hope your beta comes back showing a great number today. <br />I was talking with my RE about CCRM today - he agrees they're the best, and is in awe of their FET success rates. Even told me they have better success with FET than with fresh cycles. I bet he'd kill to work with their lab.<br />Interestingly, he doesn't want to follow my progesterone levels post transfer - says they must be ok since my lining looked good, and that they should stay stable from now since the dose of my meds won't change. Now I'm really wondering why yours dropped.<br />Hope you figure out U/S or not soon, and that you get good results when you go for it. I would want to have one on a good-quality machine, personally.Katehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15805727250430361509noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5160381109996491098.post-63803586774062299912012-03-05T17:25:44.264-05:002012-03-05T17:25:44.264-05:00Hmmm....I have been in this situation before. Amb...Hmmm....I have been in this situation before. Ambiguous U/S and then a m/c..... ambiguous u/s and then a healthy baby!!! It is tough...so I say go with your gutt. But in either case...I am sending out tons of "grow baby grow" vibes to your bean!!!!!<br />karaleenkdactylhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02123983421783902463noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5160381109996491098.post-14937051269300865072012-03-05T17:04:44.359-05:002012-03-05T17:04:44.359-05:00I only had two m/c and now have my rapidly-on-the-...I only had two m/c and now have my rapidly-on-the-verge of toddling boy. But I can STILL feel the fear that I had virtually every minute of every day until I could feel him move. And sometimes still fear until I creep into his room to check his breathing. (Also - I don't think I had any symptoms until I was more like 8-10 weeks.)Elizabethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03342557533259256831noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5160381109996491098.post-75970049451120240172012-03-05T16:37:24.666-05:002012-03-05T16:37:24.666-05:00Mo, keeping everything crossed and praying hard.Mo, keeping everything crossed and praying hard.Rosehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09414304574086840203noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5160381109996491098.post-12469885431512018982012-03-05T16:26:16.741-05:002012-03-05T16:26:16.741-05:00Mo - With regards to waiting for your u/s, do what...Mo - With regards to waiting for your u/s, do what's in your heart - you know best. The first time we saw a h/b, I didn't want to do another u/s either because I just wanted to assume I was finally "normal" and live in a state of ignorant bliss...assuming everything was just fine. I was so terrified what another u/s might have shown. It wasn't so long ago that women didn't have ultrasounds at all, right?FGhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18318003099760011211noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5160381109996491098.post-45531305729618503762012-03-05T16:22:06.045-05:002012-03-05T16:22:06.045-05:00Just wanted to say that no sane person who had rea...Just wanted to say that no sane person who had read even a handful of your posts could possibly think that you're putting yourself through this hell to conceive a 'perfect' child. Just a knee-jerk reaction based on whatever little snippet anonymous read before immediately jumping to conclusions and judging, without taking the time to check the facts or actually listen to what you are saying. <br /><br />And suggesting that you didn't cycle with your sister because her eggs somehow weren't good enough for you is ridiculous, why on earth would you pay for her to go through the screening process in the first place if that were the case? Clearly that decision was based on the screening results which suggested that it simply wouldn't work with her eggs, and why would you put either of you through all that stress (and invasive procedures) for something that is highly likely to fail? Not to mention that you don't have a money tree growing the back garden. <br /><br />The emotional toll of another failure, after all those losses, would be reason enough not to go forward with any option where the odds are stacked against you. But that is something that anonymous will obviously never understand. <br /><br />Don't forget that the rest of us DO understand Mo, and we're with you all the way.jenrcgnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5160381109996491098.post-44256781770910702312012-03-05T16:06:36.252-05:002012-03-05T16:06:36.252-05:00Dear mo,
When I had the option of an early u/s wit...Dear mo,<br />When I had the option of an early u/s with my pregnancy after having had one m/c I said "no thanks" . For me ambiguous info would have been more difficult than waiting for clear cut answers. Either way I am beaming keep on growing thoughts your way!nurslouisahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15749921400852799303noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5160381109996491098.post-21599395558624710582012-03-05T15:48:38.218-05:002012-03-05T15:48:38.218-05:00Oh Mo, how I wish I had an answer. Whatever you d...Oh Mo, how I wish I had an answer. Whatever you decide, know that there is a whole blogosphere pulling for you all. I'm sending all the peace and good thoughts I can muster your way......Brendahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11096628572640730109noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5160381109996491098.post-74040782578075710392012-03-05T14:39:38.398-05:002012-03-05T14:39:38.398-05:00I did an early u/s with good equipment and they co...I did an early u/s with good equipment and they could not detect a heartbeat, but also could not rule out the possibility of it developing since it was early.. so they recommended that I come back after several days. I had done IVF and recently had a second trimester loss. It was extremely difficult for me to receive inconclusive news at the time- I broke down in tears at that appointment. It was torture waiting for the next appt. Very, very thankfully we saw our baby's heartbeat at the next one. If I were to do it over, I would wait a little longer for the first u/s to make sure they can confirm whether or not there is a heartbeat. <br /><br />Good luck. Wishing you all the strength in the world to get through this worrisome time as peacefully as possible.CeCehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07810772967886741377noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5160381109996491098.post-34451801410111875662012-03-05T14:36:51.462-05:002012-03-05T14:36:51.462-05:00Lordy, what kind of a person wouldn't have wor...Lordy, what kind of a person wouldn't have worries (I don't see neuroses, personally) at this stage with all the things you've been through? A crazy person, in my unlicensed opinion. <br /><br />For the food record: I felt annoyed at how hard it was to get a straight answer about listeria. I read a bunch. I still felt annoyed. I ended up eating a few soft cheese I felt confident about the provenance of and hotdogs that I boiled the heck out of at home. (I craved hotdogs, which I otherwise eat about every 2-3 years.) I ate a lot of ricotta. I avoided everything else on the listeria list and also things like salad bars and places where food sat out being "hot." It all grossed me out so much that it was no real sacrifice, except for street food at a particular parade. Tea and coffee made me feel awful, so little to none of those either, but I did drink coke. I did not avoid rare meat, but I'm choosy about knowing where my beef comes from. I had some sips of wine but no glasses until essentially the last night. I think 90% of what I did was pointless except to make me feel better. <br /><br />I am sorry for all the fear, even if I think it's understandable and indicates nothing except how hard this is.Bionichttp://bionicmamas.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5160381109996491098.post-5826674689180319512012-03-05T14:29:08.139-05:002012-03-05T14:29:08.139-05:00Geez. I can only guess that Anon has plenty of bio...Geez. I can only guess that Anon has plenty of bio children that she conceived in 1 cycle. Ugh. Thankfully those type of people are few and far between here.Allisonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07403345244218621559noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5160381109996491098.post-49236903273952516712012-03-05T14:20:21.573-05:002012-03-05T14:20:21.573-05:00I would either go for u/s with better equipment or...I would either go for u/s with better equipment or not go till 8w +. My obgyn always does u/s at 8+ weeks. He says that sometimes you can see the heartbeat earlier but it depends on many factors, good equipment included. <br />Good luck.<br /><br />AlexandraAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5160381109996491098.post-86043589150301672722012-03-05T14:09:53.532-05:002012-03-05T14:09:53.532-05:00Don't give anon. comments from yesterday anoth...Don't give anon. comments from yesterday another thought. Not worth wasting your energy trying to change the opinion of someone who clearly has very little in his/her own life.<br /><br />Focus on the here and now and nothing more. Thinking of you.MyTwoLineshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11488860357456329714noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5160381109996491098.post-36460293927351689222012-03-05T14:05:40.609-05:002012-03-05T14:05:40.609-05:00Of course you're afraid, even when the numbers...Of course you're afraid, even when the numbers are in your favor. It's like what we talked about at our dinner all that time ago- evidence for and against doesn't do you a bit of good when the odds have gone wonky on you so many times. Even after I could feel this baby kicking regularly, and even when he was kicking AT my prenatal appointments, I would cry every time I heard the heartbeat because it meant he was still in there and OK. I can tell you that for me, it was just a part of this pregnancy right up until the minute we brought him home- and I think it has subsided partly because I am exhausted.<br /><br />So, all that said, I would do whatever you need to do to manage- early u/s, waiting- it's a moment by moment decision and it sounds like you have the option of going any way that will get you reassurance when and how you need it. While you are living in the fear, there are many of us here who are carrying the hope with you and for you. And, of course, for Will. How's he doing with all this? I know my husband didn't really believe any of it was happening until we got past the farthest point we had ever been to before, so I can imagine Will is holding his breath right along with you. Hugs and support got out to him as well.<br /><br />Sending hope and faith, Mo.Daniellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03775571361470043724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5160381109996491098.post-80090653742045575012012-03-05T14:05:09.023-05:002012-03-05T14:05:09.023-05:00I have no advice for you in terms of the u/s. thos...I have no advice for you in terms of the u/s. those first few weeks of pregnancy were terrifying for me. I do much better with black and white than gray and those couple weeks were nothing but gray. <br /><br />Best wishes figuring it all out. I'm rooting for you and #7 though and think of you often.Heatherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07687848140471196822noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5160381109996491098.post-27422933200599758552012-03-05T13:24:50.235-05:002012-03-05T13:24:50.235-05:00anonymous - thanks - really, I appreciate it. by a...anonymous - thanks - really, I appreciate it. by all means, follow along! FWIW, I think being a NICU nurse takes enormous strength as well. I give you credit for the situations you must handle on a daily basis.<br /><br />moMohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01671855540466269330noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5160381109996491098.post-4847028860401518022012-03-05T13:20:33.997-05:002012-03-05T13:20:33.997-05:00Dear Mo, I must admit, I am a stranger who came ac...Dear Mo, I must admit, I am a stranger who came across your blog and now can't turn away. I can't turn away for so many reasons, One; you are terribly strong and I admire you for that. I can not understand your pain. I suffered one loss at 10wks and that was one the the hardest things to overcome. So, my praise to you for surviving, not giving up and allowing even strangers into your world. If you don't mind I am going to follow you, pray for you and hope baby all your way. I am a nicu nurse is a very large, busy denver hospital- I am a advocate for IVF, I am a mother and I am on your side.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5160381109996491098.post-4851075328261887852012-03-05T13:20:25.738-05:002012-03-05T13:20:25.738-05:00I agree with other folks encouraging you to seek o...I agree with other folks encouraging you to seek out better equipment...but I definitely wouldn't wait. By 6w3d there should be a heartbeat, and it should be obvious on decent equipment (even on crappy equipment in 2003, I was able to see/hear LG's heart at 6w1d). While it's possible to be in limbo--heaven knows I was in ultrasound limbo my entire first trimester--I think you'll have a good sense of where things stand. And although it's petrifying, I know, in the end wouldn't it feel better knowing either way?<br /><br />And as for the anonymous commenter. Wow. Just wow. The kind of person who has so much energy to spread hatred?<br /><br />You're going to be an amazing mother, Mo. One way or the other, and I'm betting sooner (2012 sooner) rather than later.gwinnehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04840990153103781272noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5160381109996491098.post-65280692527303555372012-03-05T13:00:34.898-05:002012-03-05T13:00:34.898-05:00I myself am waiting until 7 weeks. The "there...I myself am waiting until 7 weeks. The "there should be a heartbeat but there isn't but it could still be ok" dance just isn't worth it IMO. I'd also try to get the highest resolution ultrasound you have available to you. <br />HUGS and forget anonymous. That comment was totally out of line and stupid. Like you need stupid comments right now.Lexhttp://november2yearslater.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5160381109996491098.post-26058438898509909962012-03-05T12:46:27.448-05:002012-03-05T12:46:27.448-05:00I second what others have said about going in this...I second what others have said about going in this week, but at a place with better technology. I'm hoping this will put your mind at ease, even if only temporarily, because to date everything in this pregnancy seems to be going really well.<br /><br />I cannot believe you have to deal with cowardly Anonymous bloggers writing shitty comments. What is wrong with these people? It seriously pisses me off, and you are handling it so much more maturely and calmly than I ever could. So big kudos to you for setting a great example there.<br /><br />I cannot wait until you are past this first trimester. I know the worries won't completely stop then, but at least you'd be through the worst of it. Until then, hang in there as much as you can...<br /><br />And oh by the way, I have been super tired too - could just be the progesterone or it could be that we are both pregnant and our bodies are working overtime!newbiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02779719410948226318noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5160381109996491098.post-91135521401748405252012-03-05T12:35:12.532-05:002012-03-05T12:35:12.532-05:00Have you had the dreams thing before? I had wild ...Have you had the dreams thing before? I had wild and vivid dreams throughout my (full-term, uneventful) pregnancy so am hoping that is a good sign. Certainly it's not a bad one. And yes, on the queasiness. And the napping. I spent week 5 - week 7 of my pregnancy visiting family (a trip planned long before the BFP) and had to tell them my news because I needed so much sleep (and was sufficiently queasy) that to do otherwise was impossible.<br /><br />Your debating what to do has gotten me to go and look up my timing, and I can tell you that I didn't get a u/s at all until 8w4d. That wasn't strategy, it was the combination of the trip and my RE's hands-off approach. And I mean, I get it: I understand you want desperately to know what is going to happen. I want desperately for you to know what is going to happen. But, and this is an honest question because I really don't know (see above re: timing of my u/s, plus, the fact that as noted my only pregnancy was an uneventful one), even with the best technology and interpretation, would even a bad result really be definitive at this point or, indeed, contain any actionable info. at all? Or would you still be left waiting another week to check again and keeping on keeping on? I mean, I hate to contemplate bad results at all, but given that we all know how painfully aware you are that good ones are not guaranteed ... is it worth waiting (can you even comtemplate waiting?) until whatever result you get will be clear?<br /><br />Thanks for leaving the anon. comment up and for drawing attention to it. It's tedious, but I think it's important for more novice infertility bloggers to know there are jerks out there, so I believe you're providing a public service through your approach and transparency.Alexicographerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06029216139568740202noreply@blogger.com