tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5160381109996491098.post8748834690063043940..comments2024-01-02T06:57:26.352-05:00Comments on Life and Love in the Petri Dish: (Yet another) talk with Dr. Schl.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger27125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5160381109996491098.post-3144489537634189192011-12-29T21:57:43.521-05:002011-12-29T21:57:43.521-05:00So complicated... Sigh.
Some day when this all...So complicated... Sigh. <br />Some day when this all pans out for you, and it will, I am going to do the biggest happy dance for you guys!<br /><br />I hope that you are enjoying the holidays and that 2012 is an amazing and wonderful year for you two.Paula Kellerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11545620300368378897noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5160381109996491098.post-45614651425537935702011-12-27T12:55:48.001-05:002011-12-27T12:55:48.001-05:00Niobe,
No question about it, I am a Maximizer. I ...Niobe,<br /><br />No question about it, I am a Maximizer. I learned about this concept when studying for the psychology licensing exam and it definitely fits me to a 'T' in situations like this. Not in all situations, but in ones I deem very important...Definitely for good or for bad... Thank you for bringing this up - I think you've inspired me to do an entire post on the subject coming up : )Mohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01671855540466269330noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5160381109996491098.post-34831350884429276362011-12-27T10:52:23.733-05:002011-12-27T10:52:23.733-05:00Maybe it's not relevant, but reading this post...Maybe it's not relevant, but reading this post made me think about this recent article I read about decision making styles. <br /><br />Basically, it contrasts "satisficers" (who make a choice once they find something that meets their basic criteria) with "maximizers" (who want to make the optimal decision). It concludes that maximizers not only have more trouble deciding, but end up being less happy with their choices.<br /><br /><br /><i>Identifying the "right" choice can be a never-ending task for a maximizer. Feelings about which option is best can always change in the face of new information.<br /><br />Maximizers might be unable to fully embrace a choice because they cannot be absolutely certain they chose the best possible option.</i><br /><br />In your case, I think that any choice you make that has relatively high odds of resulting in a baby is a good choice. <br /><br />Even if it's not the "best" choice or the the one with the absolutely highest odds. Because if that path doesn't work, you can always try another one. <br /><br />But that's easy for me to say.niobenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5160381109996491098.post-22644015791479115162011-12-27T10:04:58.734-05:002011-12-27T10:04:58.734-05:00New reader here and my thoughts are all over the p...New reader here and my thoughts are all over the place from this post.<br /><br />First on my mind is how precious this gift of knowledge will be for your sister. Although hard to hear, this information will give her insight and, hopefully, courage to advocate for herself and her fertility.<br /><br />Second is my offer of sympathy for your situation. I cannot begin to imagine how hard this journey has been for you. I hope that 2012 brings you joy and answered prayers.<br /><br />Finally, I want to share with you that I am a proven egg donor and would welcome communication, if you choose.<br /><br />My thoughts and prayers are with you this holiday season.dspencehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01822835834909155065noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5160381109996491098.post-37513124211164257912011-12-26T12:45:32.591-05:002011-12-26T12:45:32.591-05:00Oh Mo, this is so hard indeed. What a complex sit...Oh Mo, this is so hard indeed. What a complex situation you have, with your sister, and still some unknowns ahead of you.<br /><br />Waiting to see how all of this is going to unfold must be torturous! But it sounds like, all we need is a good fitting donor. There are still options, your cup doesn't runneth dry yet. Although it may feel like it, no doubt.<br /><br />2012 has got to be it. 2012 has got to be the year that things get sorted, that life comes to you in a way that you might have never imagined. You deserve it, no doubt about that. <br /><br />Wishing, hoping, dreaming that all of this comes together for you very soon.<br /><br />Hang in there, thinking about you.Mrs. Joneshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11304487980489984413noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5160381109996491098.post-65285378133063860192011-12-25T20:47:38.770-05:002011-12-25T20:47:38.770-05:00Merry Christmas, Mo and Will (and Moxie too). I h...Merry Christmas, Mo and Will (and Moxie too). I hope today brings some peace, found with each other.Piehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07331859341593997811noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5160381109996491098.post-37884679833532333782011-12-25T14:46:12.101-05:002011-12-25T14:46:12.101-05:00Oh, my. I've been following your blog for yea...Oh, my. I've been following your blog for years, but rarely comment (except with love for Moxie;). And I've just caught up on what's gone on in the last few months...<br />I think it's great that Dr. Schl is going to talk to your sister. He will be able to communicate everything to her in a non-emotional way, which seems like it would be hard for a sister to do. <br />I can't imagine the mental, physical, and emotional strain for you and Will individually and in the marriage. Our infertility wasn't nearly as grueling, but looking back on it and trying to decide if we want to add to our family makes me remember how difficult it was.<br />That all being said, I know it's pretty taboo to give an "if it were me" statement,, and is generally more acceptable to just give thoughts and support. BUT, if it were me... and if I'd been through several losses, had a handful of embryo's, and so many years invested in this journey... I'd go with my own embryo's with a surrogate. Screw the depot lupron. Would it suck taking it for 2 months for nothing? Yes. 100%. But losses suck. And lost years suck. Pretty much everything sucks. <br />Pardon me being frank. I hope it's not imposing, I certainly do not intend to be. <br />I feel like you and Will are getting closer to the prize, exploring multiple routes at once. You're so close, we can all taste it. Keep fighting. <br />Sending peace and comfort your way today. Merry Christmas. <3The Real Estate Mavenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00959820609598515329noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5160381109996491098.post-72897977356275880652011-12-24T15:55:49.021-05:002011-12-24T15:55:49.021-05:00Also per above you've given your sister a gift...Also per above you've given your sister a gift of having this knowledge now. It sucks but it is a gift for her to know.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5160381109996491098.post-19723271711210771442011-12-24T15:54:40.003-05:002011-12-24T15:54:40.003-05:00Hi I am rare commenter also with cancer, also with...Hi I am rare commenter also with cancer, also with infertility, though much easier path. I can't tell you what to do though I am tempted to! What I would do, would have done is do anything to get a baby! Transfer your friends embryos. They are there and ready. Any baby you get is going to feel like the right one. Use one of Denver's donors that doesn't feel like a good fit. If you get pregnant and stay pregnant you are going to have very few moments of doubt, bc it will be your baby, it will be amazing. Any choice that gets you a baby will feel right in the end.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5160381109996491098.post-9327792647560006062011-12-24T14:50:21.427-05:002011-12-24T14:50:21.427-05:00Love and Hugs my friend.Love and Hugs my friend.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5160381109996491098.post-55493470763878375862011-12-24T14:16:11.882-05:002011-12-24T14:16:11.882-05:00I think SIRM NYC should also be an option for her ...I think SIRM NYC should also be an option for her as they also do egg vitrification and Dr. T is an awesome high fsh friendly doc.Allisonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07403345244218621559noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5160381109996491098.post-86695681342907651982011-12-24T10:43:10.206-05:002011-12-24T10:43:10.206-05:00Ah, Mo. Glad Dr. S is willing to chat with your s...Ah, Mo. Glad Dr. S is willing to chat with your sister about what all this means for her. As for you... I think the best thing Dr. G ever told me was that there is no wrong path...it's *your* journey. That's not to say I didn't worry about it, but it is somewhat liberating to know that at a certain point (where I was, where you are) you need to do what's best for you emotionally, physically, etc, if it's not so obvious medically.<br /><br />It's almost a new year, and I so hope that 2012 is your year of the take home baby. You are in my thoughts, and heart, every day.gwinnehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04840990153103781272noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5160381109996491098.post-24793492536165738672011-12-24T07:51:19.470-05:002011-12-24T07:51:19.470-05:00so, in the end, where are you now... getting ready...so, in the end, where are you now... getting ready to try with some of your frozen embryos, or waiting to find a donor? can you do them simultaneously? i really believe that you have to do something, now... at the very least, take the options of using your frozens off the "i wonder..." list- transfer with your post-depot body and see how that goes. continue lining up the right donor match, and cycle her asap, whether or not you have success with your embryos or not. cycle her 2ce and bank enough DE embryos so you have options and the ivf cycling will be a thing of the past.<br /><br />thinking fo you, and will- holidays are not a good overlap with a loss of a loved one. just get thru these next couple days... and let 2012 start afresh, with action, to get you into some poopy diapers.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5160381109996491098.post-85651560151810296342011-12-24T06:29:09.591-05:002011-12-24T06:29:09.591-05:00Hi Mo - I've been reading (read: lurking on) y...Hi Mo - I've been reading (read: lurking on) your page for a couple of years now but I'm not sure I've ever commented. You and Will have been in my thoughts and prayers since I started reading. I'm sorry this path to a child has been SO difficult!<br /><br />I'm de-lurking to tell you that, in all honesty, I really think you did your sister a favor.... If she met the man of her dreams and was SO excited to make babies in say...5 or 6 years and couldn't, that would be so much sadder than realizing right now that she has the opportunity to freeze her eggs.Nissahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11753423326222187035noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5160381109996491098.post-31931799182224220742011-12-24T01:17:31.972-05:002011-12-24T01:17:31.972-05:00I hope this dark place simply becomes the contrast...I hope this dark place simply becomes the contrast to the bright and happy things of the next year. Don't give up Mo and Will.jenicinihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16361606793108116475noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5160381109996491098.post-67000569952602830542011-12-23T22:19:15.176-05:002011-12-23T22:19:15.176-05:00I'm wondering a bit like myTwoLines: what if y...I'm wondering a bit like myTwoLines: what if your sister responds better than expected if she goes ahead and freezes some of her eggs? Might you then decided to do a cycle with her anyhow?<br />I do think that, as hard as it is to have to give your sister the news, she's better off knowing now and being able to decide whether to try to freeze eggs or not while she has a chance at making some good ones.<br />I sure hope 2012 brings you your much-deserved and long-awaited baby, however that baby is conceived and brought into the world. May the perfect donor be found, and quickly! (Or, if you do decide to transfer one or more of your normals, may it finally be the golden embryo that makes it to a live delivery)<br />Wishing you both all the best.Katehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15805727250430361509noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5160381109996491098.post-8544832933649895212011-12-23T21:55:20.038-05:002011-12-23T21:55:20.038-05:00How difficult to have this information about your ...How difficult to have this information about your sister, info she has no idea about. Ugh. Wishing you a 2012 that offers peace with whatever comes. Really, that's what I wish myself and all of us...Beckyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07614553637265139846noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5160381109996491098.post-74565992935558490252011-12-23T21:15:22.640-05:002011-12-23T21:15:22.640-05:00Sigh. I do believe there are two entirely distinct...Sigh. I do believe there are two entirely distinct components to an egg that dictate how things will go. It is likely that bad quality eggs are missing vital components in the cytoplasm and these are also more likely to contain genetic errors, big or small. But the two issues ARE distinct.<br /><br />I strongly suspect that one of the major causes of infertility (manifesting in either failure to get to the implantation stage or a miscarriage in around the first 5 weeks) are driven by cytoplasm errors.<br /><br />I really wonder how things would go if they took the nucleus of a fertilized egg and injected that into a egg of another person, but here I digress. Would be a interesting q to ask the doctor though. I think that's what they do with stem cell research, but I don't know if it's been explored with fertility.<br /><br />This is *possibly* given everything, where your issue lies. I'm sorry Mo, I really, really am. It's bad news to both surrogacy and trying again yourself. Sometimes the hardest part is just accepting an unpalatable fact. You guys have been through so much, I'm just sitting here trying to find the right words and failing.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15553205805046479504noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5160381109996491098.post-25171658987764353072011-12-23T20:31:02.613-05:002011-12-23T20:31:02.613-05:00Glad Dr S was willing to talk to your Sister to an...Glad Dr S was willing to talk to your Sister to answer the technical questions and explain things clearly. Since we are local, we met with Dr S several times and he never cracked open a computer - so I think it was probably a non issue.<br /><br />I can relate to your comment about making the "wrong" decision, but in this business, most of it is a blind guessing game that involves some luck too. You need to trust your gut instincts and know you made the best decision given the facts you had at the time.<br /><br />Hope you have a wonderful holiday too!FGhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18318003099760011211noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5160381109996491098.post-46693106997902530082011-12-23T18:34:43.554-05:002011-12-23T18:34:43.554-05:00I am so, so sorry that the options just keep getti...I am so, so sorry that the options just keep getting harder and more complicated for you guys. Since I don't have any useful comments on the medical front, I will just say that I have to believe that you will find an answer at the end of all of this. The determination that you've shown is so inspiring to me. Sending lots of good thoughts to you.Barefoothttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17514231523278098569noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5160381109996491098.post-43360752631921619832011-12-23T18:14:46.995-05:002011-12-23T18:14:46.995-05:00OK maybe I'm just making things more confusing...OK maybe I'm just making things more confusing but frankly I'm confused about Dr. Schoolcraft saying your sister's eggs could make a baby with a 50% success rate. So why couldn't they do that for you, too? If he thinks they're good enough to freeze they should be good enough to use for your cycle. Granted, I know they like to see quantity for donor cycles but he stated himself that the quality is most likely good and while I totally get that it would be a costly 'experiment' but imagine if she proceeded with a cycle for you guys, saw how she stimmed, made a few quality eggs for you that turned into quality embryos then she would have seen the process firsthand to know if she even wanted to try to freeze her eggs for her own use in the future. I guess I'm just saying this because I know how much you would like to use your sister's eggs because she's most genetically like you... Am I just asking stupid questions here? Is the fear that she would only get 8 eggs? Cycles can work with a low yield as long as they're quality and he said hers are likely good quality... OK I'm rambling but I am just want an end to this pain for you. You deserve nothing less than to have some happiness and light. If my comment is off the mark please ignore it, I'm not trying to confuse, only help. Thinking of you during the holidays, thinking of Will and the loss of his father, wishing things were easier. HUGS from Texas.MyTwoLineshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11488860357456329714noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5160381109996491098.post-27504960744510199352011-12-23T18:10:02.396-05:002011-12-23T18:10:02.396-05:00I can see where it would be nice to have someone w...I can see where it would be nice to have someone who has seen it all acknowledge that your journey has been spectacularly arduous. <br /><br />I hope 2012 brings all sorts of wonderful breakthroughs.AmyGhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09507868273451434948noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5160381109996491098.post-11724252716550358252011-12-23T17:16:29.372-05:002011-12-23T17:16:29.372-05:00Firstly, forgive me if I'm repeating anything ...Firstly, forgive me if I'm repeating anything I've posted here before. I know how horrible these decisions are because we've been in the same place. I did one cycle with genetic testing and got one normal egg out of five. The resulting embryo was slow-growing. I had a chat with a Prof of embryology at our clinic and he told me that eggs can be genetically normal - and result in genetically normal embryos, initially - but still have other abnormalities. I think I'm right in saying that the cytoplasm (like the "white" of the egg) can be faulty and it is this that drives the development of the embryo and "glues" the genetic information together as the cells divide. If it is faulty, then the division can slow down and stop and the genetic code can break down. After our unsuccessful CGH cycle, I did wonder whether we should try again, whether one shot with one embryo was enough. In the end, we didn't have the money or the energy to take that risk as we'd have nothing left to try donor eggs if it didn't work. I suppose that there was a small part of me, as we went into our donor cycle, that wondered if I should have tried harder with my own eggs and wondered if I was making a mistake. In the event, the embryos created in the donor cycle were so stellar and the early stages of pregnancy so different to my six "own eggs" pregnancies, that all my questions were answered. What I'm trying to say is that if your donor cycle fails, then you still have your embryos to try with yourself or a surrogate. If it works, it might answer your questions about your egg quality. And if you're anything like me, if it DOES work, you'll love your donor baby so much, you won't ever question your decision to do a DE cycle again. Good luck with it all - and with your chat with your sister!Silverhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15524066274559867949noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5160381109996491098.post-39056790069026538842011-12-23T16:21:35.336-05:002011-12-23T16:21:35.336-05:00Oh my. Nothing is easy in your case. And your sis...Oh my. Nothing is easy in your case. And your sister's situation...ugh. Maybe this is one of those blessings in disguise you hear about though. Maybe she'll go forward with freezing her eggs, and you'll have spared her having a journey like yours. We can hope.<br /><br />I'm also always a little leary that the docs don't remember who they are talking to, but I tend to only think that when they say something that just plain sounds wrong. It sounds like he's acknowledging that a lot of this "is what it is" though. That said, and since you have invested your time already in the depot lupron, I think I'd be tempted to go through with a transfer. But, still, I know it's a huge decision.<br /><br />I hope you find some peace this Christmas season and that 2012 is YOUR year. You've certainly journeyed more than anyone ought to...Libbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06957887707439694944noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5160381109996491098.post-5205224943840064312011-12-23T15:04:51.401-05:002011-12-23T15:04:51.401-05:00I think it is great he is willing to talk to your ...I think it is great he is willing to talk to your sister for you, perhaps that will really ease the burden and she will understand how much you care to have arranged this for her so she can have all her questions answered.<br /><br />I'm sure he knew who he was talking to and remembered all ya'll have gone through. I have a feeling that y'alls case would really stand out and he would not advise you if he wasn't sure.<br /><br />Wishing you both nothing but the best this holiday and praying that 2012 is filled with miracles for you.Kahlahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09062732728748588097noreply@blogger.com