Mo and I have been together for about 5 years and married for almost 2. Marriage has been wonderful but one aspect which I had not really expected was the degree to which our moods and attitudes would become intertwined.
Sure, I knew that we would share dreams and hoped we would often be "on the same page," but it is amazing how much our emotions play off each other. I guess I have been more aware of this recently. With the renewed hope that pregnancy is possible, we have both been feeling a bit more energized, hopeful.
For me it is a good reminder that no matter how things turn out in the next week, we need to support each other and give ourselves a break. These are difficult, stressful things we are working through.
Mo and I try to set aside a period of relaxation together in the evenings. We try to schedule something fun once a week, at a minimum. And, we attempt to do individual things that make us happy (TV, gym, reading).
If anyone has a ritual that has helped to relieve the stress load on you as a couple, let us know. We'd love to try something new!
Will
Walking along the water or anywhere in nature. You're right as a couple the emotions are played off one another, and it gets hard during IVF. Hoping for great things for you both.
ReplyDeleteThrough this journey, I would have to say, emotions run really high. We have learned a lot more about eachother, good and bad! LOL
ReplyDeleteI think a nice hot bath together would be really nice. With candles! Well, actually, not now since the possiblility of pregnancy is so high!
Good luck, I can't wait for the outcome!
Kami
One thing we have learned is that we have to take care of each other through this process. We are truly the ONLY ones who understand what we are experiencing.
ReplyDeleteAfter each failure, we have always had to take do some serious nature time because it nourishes both of our souls. And we've vacationed to your fair city TWICE to get away from everything!
Here's hoping you do NOT need to do any recupering from anything negative!
Eat dinner together.
ReplyDeleteGo for a walk.
Snuggle on the couch watching a movie.
Take a shower together.
We cook dinner for/with each other a couple of times a week. Just trade out who picks what to cook. Some days it's refreshing and funny and amazing, and some days we can't decide what type of bread for sandwiches without a fuss. But the lines of communication stay open, and we can assess how the other one is doing and be there for them.
ReplyDeleteI have everything crossed for you!!
Ours is simple, one a friend suggested at my bridal shower: Go on long walks together. We work a lot out on those walks, even when we just go to see something or be outside.
ReplyDeleteRockband! My husband and I have been through 3 failed IVFs and we find that music is a fantastic and much needed distraction. It makes us laugh and find joy at times we wouldn't have thought possible.
ReplyDeleteBest wishes and good luck to you.
Sweet post! I agree with other posters - walks, vacations, Wii, sitting in a nook of a cafe & chat, linger over dinner...
ReplyDeleteafter a few more years you might start to look like eachother, too :)
ReplyDeletejust caught up on the last few posts. b and i like to work out, go for walks, just have quiet time. :)
still thinking lots about you. i know it's getting close. i'm really hoping for a good outcome.
xoxo
My husband and I have a dog and a walk after dinner is a great way for us to connect - with no tv, no radio, no phone, no technology - if you don't have a dog most dog owners would probably be happy to have you help out with a walk now and then. Seriously whatever you do to nourish your souls is a great idea!
ReplyDeleteOh, what a great post! We love to cook/go to a great restaurant. Without the distractions of tv, blackberry, etc., it's wonderful down-time (and good couple-time) for us.
ReplyDeleteWe play with the dogs, we love to play pinball on our Wii (yes, we are dorks) and we love getting massages together.
ReplyDeleteI think one of the best things we've done has been maintaining our own individual interests. It can get so intense sometimes and early on we really felt like it was an us against the world scenario. I think my husband especially has really benefited from having other people he can talk to about it and having a regular weekly commitment where he gets to go do something different without me.
ReplyDelete