Thanks to my laptop and a wireless hospital internet connection, I am sitting in the OR waiting room in my hospital pajamas. Sans IV. Unfortunately, despite multiple tries, the nurse could not get the IV into my chemo-scarred veins, so apparently the anesthesiologist will put it in once I'm on the table...which should be in less than two hours. There are eight women getting retrievals today, a fairly standard number at my clinic. I think I've seen a many as 12 women go through retrieval with me, and I heard that right before the lab closed before Christmas, they had 23 retrievals one day, but I don't know if that's urban legend or not.
So here we sit. Like Sassymama said a couple of posts ago, at IVF #5, I'm reaching the place where I feel I could retrieve my own eggs. Not quite, but almost. And I hate to say, really, I do, because I want to be inspirational and hopeful - and you know, cheery, about this - but but in all honesty, I'm not feeling so hopeful about this cycle. My estrogen was only 900 on Thursday, which seems really low to me (was 1180 on the same day last cycle, for comparison purposes). Maybe that isn't such a big difference? Hoping not.
This time also, by design, a lot of my follicles are smaller. One of the reasons this cycle seemed to go so fast is that my RE triggered me a day earlier to see if that will make a difference in how many euploid eggs we get. So I know we're expecting to have fewer of the eggs be mature. And I expect we will have fewer retrieved overall. And while I know that what we're looking for is quality not quantity, it's really hard not to want a high quantity, ya know?
It will be what it will be. Hoping for a good-enough number retrieved so that we can do the mega-transfer again, which seems to be the direction we're heading in, rather than PGD or a blast transfer. Of course, you never know.
Fingers crossed, tightly. I will send an update later today on how the retrieval goes. Thank you for all of your well-wishes. We are hoping all your wishes for good luck might actually change our luck. We are ready for it to change!
Mo
Keep thinking positive thoughts!
ReplyDeleteI will be keeping my fingers crossed that all goes well and the news is much better than you are expecting at this point in time. Hang in there and keep us posted.
You are in my prayers today. You can do it :)
Take care,
Tracy
I'm thinking positive thoughts for you. Good luck today! And, thank god for internet access at the hospital/RE office when you have a 1-2 hour wait! Take care!
ReplyDeleteHugs!
Hey Mo, thinking about you and hoping for a nice plump vein to appear soon.
ReplyDeleteIt's tough to recapture the excitement/hope/innocent anticipation of that first IVF cycle, I think. And its ok to be pragmatic. Just try not to get down on yourself in the process and just think of how pleasantly surprised you'll be when all goes well.
wishing you well!!!
Wishing you much luck, Mo!
ReplyDeleteAnd hoping that they get a good vein after all. IVs are sucky enough without them having to dig to get it in.
Fingers crossed - keep us posted! (And woohoo for wireless in the hospital!)
Thinking of you today honey. Praying they retrieve your miracle!
ReplyDeleteKami
I hope you get great quality too! And quantity is nice, but not always the end all be all (said from the woman who got 20 eggs last cycle but only two fertilized). I also think too high of an E2 can affect uterine receptivity, so there ya go.
ReplyDeleteGood luck!!!
Thinking of you today. Really hoping this is the one!
ReplyDeleteSorry you had to endure the nurse torture. She really should have stopped after one try. Grrrrr!
I'm thinking positive thoughts for you and have everything crossed! Good luck!
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean--after a while, you just get kind of numb with a side of snarky. I'm hopeful for you, but I always find it hard to be hopeful for myself.
ReplyDeleteWhen ever I hear "good enough" I think of Winnicott and the "good enough mother",and the relief that offers in terms of not always having to be 'on' and 'perfect' in order to qualify. So you are being a 'good enough' fertility paitient and a 'good enough' inspiration.
good luck!
All the best for your retrieval (my favourite part of any cycle because of the drugs :))
ReplyDeleteThinking lots of good vibes for you!
Thinking of you and keeping my fingers crossed for you.
ReplyDeleteSending tons of positive thoughts your way. Come on, eggs!
ReplyDeleteWe're sending lot's of positive thoughts your way!
ReplyDeleteCheryl
You should be retrieved by now and feeling a little loopy! Anxious to hear the report and, as always, will be rooting for you guys this next couple of weeks.
ReplyDeleteI'm ready for your luck to change too, and I'm sending tons of vibes and luck and thoughts and all of that good stuff in your direction! Hope today went really well!
ReplyDeleteDelurking to wish you all the very best!!
ReplyDeleteAnd WOW blogging from the hospital is pretty damn amazing.
Keep us posted.
Good luck!!!
ReplyDeleteGood luck! Sending lots of positive thoughts your way.
ReplyDeleteMy last ER there it was just me and one other woman! They were triggering me relatively early so we were both at the beginning of a cycle group. I was weirded out by it though since usually you see so many people.
ReplyDeleteThe free wireless is nice :)