Well, I wanted to make it clear just what level of detail we're talking about.
The consent for IVF/embryo transfer was a whopping 21 pages long. And within it, in addition to the usual risks of the stimulating meds and the retrieval procedure, this consent includes the following risk information:
RISKS OF PREGNANCY
GENERAL WELL BEING Pregnancy affects women in different ways. While some women feel fine during pregnancy, others have complaints of nausea, fatigue, loss of energy and may develop various discomforts (i.e., back pain).... These symptoms and others may affect a woman's sense of well-being and ability to function at home or at work...
Hmmm....I don't know about this....I could have back pain? or fatigue?
TIME COMMITMENT Pregnancy lasts an average of 280 days.... During the pregnancy, the woman will make frequent visits to her obstetrician to monitor the pregnancy. It may be necessary to remain in the vicinity of your local obstetritian during all or part of the pregnancy...
What?! 280 days?! That's what I'm signing up for? And I might have to be near my OB for part of my pregnancy?! Horrors! That's more of a "time commitment" than I was planning!
Will and I kept laughing as we were reading through this form, imagining some poor uninformed couple not realizing that pregnancy might require some medical monitoring or thinking that gestation only lasts 6 months or something. Thank goodness for this detailed consent to let them know that they might experience - gasp - pregnancy for 9 months and maybe even some nausea to boot!!!
Geez, Denver clinic, we sure hope you can get us pregnant for nine full months. No complaints here. I understand the risks as I have read them and sign right here on the dotted line!
One thing's for sure, you can't say they aren't thorough.
Mo
That's fabulous!! At least you can feel reassured that they are indeed thorough. I love it!! At least there's some humor hidden in the situation. Maybe they put it in there for the comic relief, but who am I kidding, some people probably really don't realize all the things that go into it. But those people probably don't need to seek the Wizards in Colorado. Good luck!!
ReplyDeleteThat really is thorough. The paperwork part of the process is interesting, if not a bit bizarre. My discharge papers after ET included a bit about not drinking alcohol or using tobacco during the 2WW. Err, okay.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with the paperwork!
Hilarious! I wonder if they've ever had an IFer come back and say "man, this isn't all it's cut out to be, and no one told me it'd take 280 days"??
ReplyDeleteYes - I love their binder! They are SO thorough with everything! I remember seeing some injection instructions there and laughing to myself. I mean, usually people get to Denver after becoming quite the experts in self injections / injections by the husband! But yes, you can't say they weren't thorough!
ReplyDeleteI was thinking it should say "may result in frequent trips to the bathroom" That is hilarious.
ReplyDeleteI would certainly hope that'd there be a "risk" of pregnancy at an IF clinic! I'd say they have the thorough thing pretty well covered :)
ReplyDeletefunny. make sure you read all the fine print!!!
ReplyDeletefunny. make sure you read all the fine print!!!
ReplyDeleteWow, I had no idea that I might actually suffer fatigue AND nausea...I'm not sure I'm ready for that. Ha! That's funny, but they have covered all of their bases so there can be no surprises I guess. Good luck to you!
ReplyDeleteLOL! We actually did all our consents there, some in front of the nurse. We were laughing at some of that stuff too, and the nurse laughed too, saying "you'd be surprised" and left it at that. Ha!
ReplyDeleteThe sad thing is, I bet there ARE some people out there who would be surprised by the info. They're not the type to read fine print, though. Or need any of these crazy IF treatments we're doing. They're the type to get pg without remembering how, get zero prenatal care, deliver the baby in a public restroom and still have everything be fine. GRRRRR.
ReplyDeleteThat consent doesn't seem so thorough. A REALLY thorough consent would warn you of the risk that you'll be responsible for the care, safety and feeding of a child for 18 years (6570 days). And some of that time, the child might be sick, or crabby, or in need of bailing our of jail.
ReplyDeleteThat is indeed pretty freaking hilarious. I'll bet your jaws must have hit the floor on that one. I think you should consult legal counsel just in case. ;-)
ReplyDeleteHA! Mine even went so far as to say..."even after going through IVF to achieve pregnancy, many women don't feel happy or ecstatic afterwards. You may feel ambivalent, fearful, depressed or upset about your pregnancy." Or some bullshit mumbo jumbo.
ReplyDeleteI never believed a word of it by the way...
hahaha! Oh seriously???
ReplyDeleteFatigue? Nausea? Geez, that sounds really inconvenient.
Wow.
Hmm you would think a clinic for trying to get people pregnant could skip those parts. LOL
ReplyDeleteI'm with nonlineargirl. They didn't discuss the various decisions to be made when picking a 529 plan?
ReplyDeleteHoly crap! Well, forget this! ;-)
ReplyDeleteROFLMAO!
ReplyDeleteI work in communications and the first thing I thought of was - wow, someone had to spend the time to 1) decide that the information was really important and that those signing the consent form *may* not know that information and then 2) that someone had to spend the time writing that!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for your continued humor -- and adding much to this online community.
This is hilarious! You know, there are probably some people out there that think "in vitro" means that the baby is cultured the entire 9 months in a test tube and then delivered to you whole and sound at the end of the process...so I guess they're just covering their ass against those that didn't pass high school biology. :-)
ReplyDelete