I am having a little trouble in the mood management department these past few days. A little blue, prone to tears, just slightly funked out. There is something unpleasant brewing at work that is contributing to this moodstate, but the depth of the blue funk, as well as its sudden onset right when I started the lupron and saizen, suggest that the meds are impacting my emotional equilibrium.
Will has been a champ. Not taking my sad mood on board, not taking the funk personally as something he's done wrong, or something he is responsible for fixing (you know how guys like to fix things? Will is no exception). And I, for my part, am trying to have my blueness affect him as little as possible. And hoping that once the stim meds kick in more fully that this will pass (today is day 2 of stims), the storm clouds will blow on past, and we can just focus on what we need to do for the next week and a half to finish this cycle.
Here's hoping. In the meantime, I have an urge to crawl off into a cave somewhere. But I will refrain. Crawling off into a cave never helped anybody. Besides, I don't know of any caves here on the lovely island of Manhattan.
Leaving for Colorado Sunday. Tentative retrieval date set for 10 days from now. Getting closer every day.
Mo
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Lupron or no, it seems to be a blue day all over the internets today. I can think of a couple of figurative caves in Manhattan, though most of them look like Japanese tea houses from the outside. (and, OK, from the inside). Let me know if you'd like to meet up at once post-Denver. Hope the clouds roll past soon.
ReplyDeletethe blues have been definitely going around. I know the feeling all to well. I hope you are feeling better soon. Sending hugs and lots of prayers and wishes that this is your cycle!
ReplyDeleteI don't know about you, but a cave under the covers, with your sweet puppy and a good book might be just the ticket, at least for a couple of hours. There is nothing like spending some quality time with the fur children to make you feel a little bit better, I hope you muddle through, I will be thinking good thoughts for you and hope that your work situation improves.
ReplyDeleteI wish you all the best in Denver next week...
ReplyDeleteLupron definitely gives me the blues (and headaches!), which is why I cringed a little when you said you're going on it for a few months. May the side effects miss your apt during the Lupron month.
ReplyDeleteSafe travels to Denver!
Evil Loopy-ron! It does have funk-inducing properties, and hey - isn't acknowledgment the first important step?
ReplyDeleteHang in there, Mo. These hormones send us all on a roller-coaster. Not too much longer!
Hope your mood lifts soon, and wishing for great things for you in Denver.
ReplyDeleteUgh... I've only ever taken Microdose Lupron and am dreading the effects of the full-strength stuff. Sorry you're dealing with some external stressors--it seems like that should not be allowed while dealing with an IVF cycle. I mean, a person can only take so much, right?! Hoping that stims will help and maybe a change in location will enable you to relax!
ReplyDeleteI'm surprised that you are still walking around interacting with normal people -- I think lupron is drug of the devil and was not able to even be with people most of the 2 weeks I was on it. So props to you for keeping it relatively together!
ReplyDeleteIncidentally, the craptastic weather here in ny the past few days doesn't help either -- I'm on only estrogen now and yesterday I still wanted to cry all day.
I'm very very excited for you to be moving forward!
Good luck getting through this. Hope your trip is a great success!
ReplyDeleteLupron is the devil. Hang in there, my friend. You are in my thoughts. Wishing you a whole lot of poopy diapers in your future.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you! Can't believe it is likely 10 days from your retrieval...Everything crossed that this cycle will be wonky-free and end with poopy diapers..
ReplyDeleteSorry that lupron is being so nasty already...
Lupron is evil. EVIL! I agree that there are a few "cave-ish" places in Manhattan but no real caves that I can think of. Maybe there's a nice cold dungeon up at the Cloisters? :-)
ReplyDeleteThinking good thoughts for you for next week!
Just curious: which supplements did you stop with stims? I think you mentioned that you go off of everything at CCRM when you start stims...but I'm sure you're still taking a few things, yes?
I think you are doing really well Mo. These drugs are a nightmare, and the fact that you feel only a bit out of kilter and you have the awareness not to try and share this with Will (even though he is somewhere north of 100% there for you) is pretty amazing. Random note: I once did a 54 mile hike in 20 hrs. Hurt like hell. The only thing that gets you over the line is the ability to handle endurance. You would slaughter that hike (and hike back!) with your endurance ability.
ReplyDeleteMo,I've been following along (but not always able to comment though I always want to). I wanted to tell you that I have so much admiration for you and Will and your determination to see this journey though.
ReplyDeleteThis shit is hard. Allow yourself to feel however you want to feel about things. Be mad, be sad, be optimistic.
I'm rooting for you (very loudly)!
Hope you are enjoying the break and that the hormonal stuff has calmed down!
ReplyDeleteHi Mo...wow what a history...girl you are so tough...and I am encourged by you and your ability to keep fighting this battle....I just started blogging and am currently doing my second IVF since Last April....I have had 4 miscarriages and lots of health complications since last April too...anyways I will be following your journey and wish you the best of Luck....my blog is http://lettheivfrollercoasterridebegin.blogspot.com/ if you would like to check it out :)Kristi
ReplyDeleteAm praying for you guys xxx
ReplyDeleteOh, the lupron stinks. I'm sorry.
ReplyDelete