You have an inversion on chromosome WHAT?!

The email just came in with the final word from the genetic counselor about our egg donor E's karyotype results:

"An inversion on chromosome 9 is generally thought to be a common and benign polymorphism, but we do not allow donors to donate if they have any type of chromosomal variant, as it could disrupt meiosis and lead to aneuploidy."

Basically one piece of our donor's chromsome 9 is reversed end to end.

It looks something like this:

While we were waiting on word from the genetic counselor, we did our own research (of course, you knew we would).

And we found that while this inversion (not sure if it is a paracentric or pericentric, or whether it matters) is considered a "minor" chromosomal rearrangement and doesn't correlate with abnormal phenotypes, that research also suggests (depending on which type):

• a higher risk of spontaneous abortion in approximately 30% of those affected (and we need that like we need a hole in the head, frankly)
• potential abnormal ultrasonic findings on fetuses with this abnormality, including hydramnios, anhydramnios, hydroureter, hydronephrosis, encephalocele, and prune belly syndrome. 
• that it is a potential cause of psychiatric disorders
• reports of links to congenital genital malformation, mild growth retardation, malformations of the skull and facial (craniofacial) region, undescended testis, skeletal malformations, mental retardation, hermaphroditism, and/or cardiac defects

Why in the world would we sign up for any of those things?

Because you know they would happen to us, they just would. We are not lucky when it comes to reproduction. I mean, seriously, we are not.

We feel bad for the donor, too. Because this can't be easy news to hear, even though everything will likely be fine for her (stress on "common" and "benign" variant). No matter what, not what she was expecting when she signed up to donate.

As for us, we are back to square one. But honestly, not even square one. We're back to zero.

I've never been thrilled about donor egg. I became thrilled about this donor. Will too. He says he feels that we just lost a member of our family, because we'd already ushered her in in our minds.

Better to know now than later, but still, what a sucker punch. We are out approximately $10,000. And we are out our dreams and hopes of what a baby with this donor would be like, and have also lost our hopes of moving forward in any timely manner. It took so much emotional work to feel OK about this, about her. And now, well...

I don't know that we want to do donor egg with another unknown donor. 

Maybe we will just go straight to surrogacy. 

Maybe we will consider donor egg with my sister. 

Maybe we'll just put our embryos back inside of me at the time when we would have done the donor egg cycle.

To add insult to injury, I took my depot lupron shot on Sunday. The day before the rug got pulled out from under us. I absolutely hate depot lupron. I hate the effects on my body, my mind. I can't believe I got suckered by the universe into taking it - now for nothing. 

I feel like we are so very unlucky.

I feel like giving up. 

Mo

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