This year

We did the holidays a bit differently this year. We almost always spend Christmas with Will's family. He has three siblings who each have a few sons, so the holidays tend to be a rather raucous affair with nine nephews and a number of adults  - three generations in all. There is even a labradoodle to keep our dog Moxie company.

All good things. But as the years have ticked by and the gaggle of nephews keeps getting older (the youngest is now 3.5 and the same age our oldest would be if we hadn't miscarried), we have felt increasingly like the odd ones out. We have previously always slept at Will's parents or at one of his sibling's houses and experienced first-hand the excited children's voices and tatters of Christmas packaging flying here and there. But attending the activities year after year, while feeling so far from being able to participate in this child-focused holiday in the way we most want to, has become extremely painful.

So this year, we tried something different. We still came to most of the family-focused activities, but instead of sleeping at one of Will's sibling's houses and experiencing the Christmas morning frenzy, we stayed at a rather fancy hotel. We found a really lovely one overlooking the water, of course with the chief requirement that it be boxer friendly. Below you can see Ms. Moxie decked out at the hotel in her "reindog" antlers, resting on the comfy bed the hotel provided and with the food and water bowls they also kindly put out in the room in advance of our arrival. She's giving the camera her forlorn "Woe Is Me" look, but don't be fooled. She had a great time.

Staying in a hotel worked so much better for us. We were able to be a part of everything but also take some space for ourselves, caring for ourselves in the process. And despite this breaking a bit with the traditions Will's family has in place, our desire to have a little bit of a buffer seemed to be understood and well received.

All in all not a terrible holiday, despite missing Will's father intensely and wishing that we were in a different place with our own infertility struggles.

We hope you had a good one, too.

Mo

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