Wednesday, February 29, 2012

20dp5dt update + CB indicator test is the devil


Remember the scare I had with the Clearblue indicator test? Well...I tested again with it right after I got back my hcg level of 7,681. I followed the instructions explicitly...And the damn thing still said 2-3 weeks pregnant!! It is thereby proven to be a piece of garbage, created only to make pregnant women even more neurotic than they already are. So lessons learned? Don't trust this indicator test (perhaps why it is not available for sale in the U.S.?) or at least don't trust it when it's February and your stick expired in September. Just wanted to share. That was the last of those in my possession, so they won't be messing with my head again.


Such wonderful info. If only it were accurate.

I'm still laid up in bed with this nasty chest cough and low-grade fever. This can't be good for the pregnancy, but then again my hopes for this pregnancy are waning by the hour. Still feeling basically...nothing. No bleeding, no cramping, no anything.

I crawled into the RE's office today for another progesterone level to see if it's come up now that I'm taking 1.5 cc PIO/day + 3-4 suppositories a day. And the phlebotomist wouldn't listen that that's all I wanted drawn! Instead she ordered estrogen, progesterone, and HCG. Ugh. I don't really want to know the HCG level again. I figure if it's good it won't really reassure me, and if it's bad (which I expect), it will just cause me extra and earlier onset of despair. But she kept saying, "That's what they've been ordering, so that's what I'm going to order." Little does she know that the "they" in question is actually just little 'ole me. I figured I shouldn't clarify that point, though, lest I get myself into trouble.

So, that's all for now. I'm in bed, all tucked in, Moxie at my side. Trying to work on a powerpoint presentation for a workshop series I'm in charge of between naps.

I'm expecting (bad) news from the nurse in a couple of hours.

We shall see...trying not to stress.

But honestly? I hate this.

Mo

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29 comments:

  1. Oh Mo, still thinking of you and hoping that you get some surprisng news...hang in there!

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  2. We are so alike in terms of how we process our intuition even in the face of empirical data to the contrary.

    I hate this agony of a mind f*ck for you and I completely understand.

    I will check back frequently and given that you are 3 hours ahead of me, it won't be too long.

    Hang in, Mo! (and nothing you are *thinking* will have an effect one way or the other).

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  3. words of reassurance. When I was pregnant with my son (also after battling infertility) I felt nothing. No cramping, no spotting, no connection, nothing. I didn't have painful breasts or morning sickness or anything that would otherwise indicate I was pregnant. Occassionaly I had some gas pains, which I were convinced was the end. But it wasn't. And I still have those occasional gas pains and I am not pregnant. So, as hard as it is, hang in there. My son is 17 months now and I am now happy to say that, aside from the extra 20lbs weight gain and big belly, he caused me no problems while pregnant. Post pregnancy and toddler-hood--now that's a different story.

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  4. Of course you hate this. It's total agony!

    Re the cold/fever, as long as it's not a high fever I'm sure it's fine. More miserable than you would be otherwise, but not dangerous to your little one. Hang in there. xoxo

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  5. Thinking of you and hoping the nurse calls early because she has such good news.

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  6. Sorry you're dealing with the winter ick. But I'm with Dora...a low grade fever isn't going to hurt the little one.

    Your beta will be fine. I really hope P4 is doing what it's supposed to do. I've also heard what other commenters said about PIO raising level but being less effective than vaginal types (I used 400-600 mg prometrium vaginally instead of endometrin); progesterone, according to my RE, has some added immune calming benefits so she also upped my dose from what most of her patients took. Thinking of you.

    And stop peeing on things!

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  7. I am so glad that you have Moxie at your side right now. Dogs are so sympathetic when you are sick!

    Truly hoping for the best for you. All good thoughts and wishes to you.

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  8. Those first weeks are so so hard. Hang in there. I had a nasty cold during my pregnancy and some homemade remedies really helped me and are safe for PG ladies. If you have a sore throat, try gargling with hot water water, cayenne pepper, and sugar. Hoping your feeling better soon!

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  9. Agree that the cold isn't a big deal--I mean, it SUCKS, because who wants a cold? But it's not harming your pregnancy. Really.

    And oh BOY am I ever hoping for some fantastic news for you this afternoon. Shall be checking in compulsively til then and thinking of you.

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  10. Can't believe that in addition to all the stress you also have a nasty cold. LIke you need that right now!

    Praying for GREAT news this afternoon Mo. I gotta tell you I'm feeling absolutely nothing as well. Nary a cramp or twinge in sight. No heartburn really either. So we'll see...I don't think that's any sign of what's going on yet, it's so early. At least I fervently hope so, for both of us! Will check on you later, Mo.

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  11. Everything crossed for you. ((hugs))

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  12. I had H1N1 when I was pregnant (like, I literally went in for retrieval with it and snuck the thermometer above my tongue to hide my fever). It lasted til for a good while and was pure hell. But it didn't affect the pregnancy.

    As for no cramping, well, most people get to the "feeling nothing stage" at some point and it varies widely from person to person and pregnancy to pregnancy. I know that isn't the best reassurance, but it is true.

    Hang in there, Mo. I am praying hard for you that today brings good news.

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  13. I hate this for you.
    Absolutely totally hate this torture.
    Screw clearblue. Mindfuck is not what you need right now, thank you very much.

    Thinking of you and sending love, fingers crossed, hopeful, wishful, wanting this for you so badly I might bust my spleen.

    I'm just sayin'.

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  14. Step away from the pregnancy tests :). I kid. I'm still thinking of you. Rooting for this little baby. And for what its worth, I was sick for 3 weeks (from weeks 5-8), taking Tylenol about 3 times a day when I was first pregnant with my son. He's a healthy 7 month old. Take care Mo!

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  15. mo,
    i hate this for you. and while it is totally arduous, i think having some daily knowledge is better than not having any information at all between your 2nd positive beta and the first u/s, which is what most people have to wait.

    g*d i hope your levels come back solid today.

    i know so many here clearly care for you, and would want you spared any unnecessary emotional pain. if there was something we could do to take some of the stress away, we would!

    try to rest! do you every look at pinterest? there are categories that have nothing to do with pregnancy, babies, etc. (recipes, landscaping, travel, etc)and it is a silly distraction that may relieve your mind if but for a few minutes while you are sitting there in bed waiting for the call.

    thinking of you- thank you so much for updating and sharing your news as it happens.

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  16. Hating this seems pretty much normal. This is agony, and I'm sorry that you are in it. Please know that we are all rooting for you (and for what it's worth, I felt NOTHING at all for the first many weeks. Had some spotting at 5 weeks, which was not at all reassuring, and likely due to shoving progesterone up too high, and then that was it. So maintain hope, ok? We all are here hoping alongside you.

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  17. also,
    those cb indicator tests are more for fertile people who get pregnant by accident. stupid things. and, they are expired! if you weren't in nyc, i would suggest taking it out to your front yard and drive over the tests a few times with your car's tire.

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  18. Thinking of you! FWIW, my "symptoms" seemed to diminish between 18dp5dt and 25dp5dt...hoping and praying for good news for you!

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  19. ((((HUGS))))) It is so awful to get to the place where pregnancy is an experience of dread. I'm keeping you in my thoughts.

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  20. Hang in there baby!!! You too Mo hope you feel better stay hydrated.

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  21. Thinking good thoughts for you today. Leap year has got to bring you some luck. XOXOXOXO

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  22. Step away from the CB thingie! One positive note- I bet there arent triplets in there. :) BUT if someone could handle 3, you could.

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  23. This is just miserable! The phlebotomist who wouldn't listen, the agonizing wait for this blood draw result, the wait until your next u/s, the fever, every damn thing. Thank goodness Moxie is there to cozy up to.

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  24. Hugs. This limbo must be the absolute worst. I hope soooooo much that you get reassuring news today. And maybe it's good you're laid up in bed...extra rest can't hurt. Sorry you're sick, though...hope you feel better soon!

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  26. Thinking of you; hoping; sending love,
    Elizabeth

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  27. Thank you for doing these experiments. I'm in the same crazy process (4w4d here) and I was thinking of using these tests to reassure myself. This is pregnancy number 6 for me :(

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