Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Trek back to the Denver clinic: third time at the rodeo

Last Sunday and Monday, we were in Denver once again for the required one-day work up to be able to move forward with our third and final frozen embryo transfer. This is our third one-day work up. And...I'm trying to count them...but I'm thinking we've had 7 trips out to the Denver clinic over the years. Yowza.

We left Magpie with her nanny at our place in New York (we were told no children allowed at the clinic, which seems sensitive to those struggling to conceive, and we didn't want to leave Magpie in an unknown day-care or sitter situation in a strange city). Will and I splurged a bit and booked a nice hotel and had our first night alone together since before Magpie's birth. It was a little bit hard to be without her, and I worried she would miss us, but she's super attached to her nanny, so it seemed optimal that that was who she stayed with. And Will and I really enjoyed having some time together. Flying without a toddler? What a relaxing experience! Nice dinner out? Wow! Actual prolonged daytime conversation with my spouse? Amazing! Will and I both remarked how great it was to just get to hang out and be adults together for a bit. Funny how parenting changes the landscape so much. Wouldn't trade it for the world, as you know, but this short break was really nice.

Being back at the Denver clinic was weird...strangely boring this time around but also nostalgic. We flew through much of the day without blinking an eye. The consents, the credit card payments, the procedural instructions on injections, etc.? We've got all that down pat.

Ultrasound was slightly interesting - at Will's request, they did an antral follicle count. I have 4 follicles on one side and 1 on the other. Drastically down from what it used to be, but I am not a spring chicken, and we've been infertile for just about forever, so it wasn't difficult news, honestly, and maybe even better than I would have expected. I actually passed the uterine doppler blood flow test they do, for the first time, so no required electro-acupuncture for me, which will be nice to be able to skip.

There was one awkward moment when the financial person was chirpy and kept saying, "So you've come back to get a sibling for Magpie! Maybe two!" I'm a bit embarrassed to admit, I failed to just nod and go along with her inanity, instead saying weird replies like, "We'll see. It probably won't work, but you never know." I knew  that without her knowing our history, I sounded like a negative freak, but I couldn't stifle myself in the moment.  She also said at one point, "So you'll transfer two blasts?" And I said, no that we'd transfer three. (I received a very odd look in reply. What can I say, lady? I guess we are freaks). This will be embryos 7, 8, and 9, and it took us six CCS normal blasts to get to Magpie. When I'd seen my OB a few weeks ago, she had suggested I just transfer one blast at a time, and I told her no way. Don't have the stamina for it. Have to go on depot lupron for two months ahead of each transfer. Am 43. And did I mentioned that it took 6 chromosomally normal blasts to get to Magpie? I have zero fears about triplets -it ain't gonna happen - and few concerns about twins.

I had the required hysteroscopy, which was fine, and we met with Schoolie, who seemed decidedly more at ease than I've ever seen him. He said that we had shown amazing and rare persistence with all of our cycles over the years, despite really bad outcomes, and that he was certain that this was why we had Magpie. That few couples go to such lengths; that cost aside it's just too emotionally difficult. We agreed wholeheartedly and marveled a bit with him that we'd both survived intact.

He went over the plan: that I'll do depot lupron again for two cycles ahead of whenever we will transfer because of my history of stage 3 endometriosis. We discussed that if I achieve a pregnancy, this will be pregnancy number 9, and that I will want to do everything I can to hang on to it (including PIO, which isn't their standard). And he didn't name a percent likelihood of success but said my chances of pregnancy are lower than they would be, given that we have one no result embryo (the testing didn't work, so don't even know if it's chromosomally normal), and, if I recall, two day 7s (normal would be day 5, or 6). He says their clinic has had had success with embryos that don't go to blast until day 7, but that these slow poke blasts have a markedly lower implantation rate.

We also got to see our favorite genetic counselor and nurse, who came out into the waiting room to joyously greet us. This was super nice and the best part of our whole visit. The genetic counselor emailed herself a photo of Magpie from my phone and said she was going to send it to the head of the genetics dept there, ("She will be SO thrilled to see this!"). Apparently we and our story are remembered. It was so nice to see these two. Our former nurse, who has been promoted into a different position, said she would handle our cycle ("Of course!"), so that will make everything feel so much more comfortable and familiar.

So we're a go. Probably going to cycle in the next four or so months. So stay tuned.

Mo



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20 comments:

  1. Glad that you two got some alone time and glad that Denver pulled out the red carpet, you deserve it! Will begin sending up strong vibes for good things to come in a few months. And if you're looking for a happy story about the 'late bloomers' check out Stupid Stork-- her story is almost as amazing as yours, but in different ways.

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    1. EE - thank you! I did check out Stupid Stork and added her to my blog roll. Thanks for pointing me to her : )

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  2. I wish you the best of luck with your FET.

    I just got insurance that actually has (limited) coverage for IVF so after 16 years I will finally be able to have a (one) real chance at this (severely low sperm count and now my age are our main issues). It's still hard to believe that I might (look at me saying might - definitely some emotional damage there) get to do IVF. I can't even think about what if it works or what if I give birth or what if I bring home a baby. One thing at a time.

    Anywho this long rambling is supposed to come to a point which is we may be doing FETs near the same time, since my RE wanted to do a fresh/frozen cycle on me and my consult is in June.

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  3. WOW! WOW! WOW! And so it begins again. So weird that the financial person was discussing your protocol with you. Hoping hard this works!

    Play date soon? xoxo

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    1. sure! we're slammed until late may but perhaps sometime after that? be great to see you!

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  4. yay mo & will!

    I've been hoping that you might go back again and transfer your remaining blasts!

    and how different is it to be there, not having to actually cycle for a retrieval at age 43?!
    that and you have magpie now...

    we have already been back for #2 albeit with a GC, and now we are in the process of donating our remaining embryos...
    my perception of CCRM these days remains very positive... they have been prompt, polite, and efficient in all of my dealings with them and the staff at FLC...

    I love D&M in the genetics dept. and I love JS at FLC... they are incredible assets for schoolcraft to be working with.

    best to you and mo as you do your last FET. I totally think you should tx all three...

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  5. You know I'm hoping for all good things to come of this! Please keep us all posted!

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  6. I'll be thinking about you and holding you up to the light. I am constantly in awe when I read the combination of strength, gratitude, intelligence, and humility in your posts. Magpie is so lucky to have you and Will. I hope my kids have adults like you to look up to and learn from as they grow older ...

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    1. Awww...that's the nicest thing I've heard all week! Thank you!

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  7. This is great news! I had wondered if you would transfer again! I also have to admit it's good to know that someone else is going forward at 43. I just turned 42, our little guy will be 1 next month, and honestly, I just don't have the energy to try again right now! Wishing you sweet success!

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    1. yes, well, lack of energy is exactly why magpie is 2.5 already and we haven't tried again beyond the "regular" way until now. totally hear you. it gets easier i think as they get a little older.

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  8. Wow, nice that they changed their policy. We saw kids there a few times. Hard on people still in the trenches espec. those getting bad news.

    Maybe the ccrm staff comments are good luck...when we went back for our 2nd FET Odwu Dr Su said matter of factly "let's get you pregnant again!"....and he did.

    Hope you enjoyed your alone time. It's hard to come by once you have one or more kids as you know.

    Wishing you good luck with your blasts!

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    1. anonymous - we actually saw two kids there too this week, which annoyed me a bit, since i'd left my little one behind at their instruction. but i remember how painful i used to find it when I saw other people's kiddos while i was in the trenches, so I figured we can try to do our part to be sensitive. plus i'm a rule follower kind of person :)

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  9. All the best!!!! I pray this works xxx

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  10. I'm surprised that they banned Magpie. Every time I was out there, the waiting room was crawling with toddlers. I wanted to wish you the absolute best luck in the world with the blasts and also to tell you that coming back to your site (with all that's happening with me just now) makes me feel a little less insane and not so much like a dog with a bone. Lots of the fortunately fertile are waiting for me to throw in the towel, but I have banked blasts to contend with as well. Thanks for that <3

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  11. So glad to hear of your warm re-welcome at CCRM! When I first discovered your blog a couple years ago, I was about to embark on my ODWU at CCRM, and now after 4 ERs and 4 blasts on ice, I'm getting ready to prep for my first FET there. I read your post with the thought that I'm so happy you got Magpie out of your time there, and hoping beyond hope that in a couple years I'll be able to return there for a second too. Daunting to try to be a first time mom at 43 though! Sending sticky vibes to you and Will! (And so happy to read of your negative biopsy!)

    Cheers,
    an ex-Newyorker

    P.S. PIO is a standard part of their FET protocol now I believe; I think they added it in for everyone about a year ago.

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    1. Cool! I'm probably in the minority for thinking it's better to have PIO as part of the standard protocol for FETs. Wishing you the best of luck! And in my book, 43 is the new 33 : )

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    2. Thanks! And, I'm all for the PIO! My fresh local failed cycles were with Crinone only (for P4 support), so next time around in Denver I'm happy to have the shots and the Endometrium, anything that might possibly help.

      Hear hear on the new 33! :)

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