The fat lady sings

Our RE called Mo this afternoon to confirm that the beta HCG levels are continuing to drop. Another miscarriage is imminent. The RE says that we should presume that the loss is due to chromosomal defects.

Over the phone, Mo and I just checked in to see how we felt. "I don't know," we seemed to say in unison. But we do know. It's that terrible, familiar feeling. Loss. A feeling kind of beyond language. We've been sitting together in silence on the phone a lot since Monday. Both working way too much. No words for what we're going through.

We are not sure what's next and not sure we even want to touch on that just yet. We'll give it a few hours, a few days, a few weeks or whatever it takes.

We are planning to wander around the Metropolitan Museum of Art later this afternoon. Maybe the paintings and sculpture will express visually some of the things we're unable to verbally. It will be good to be together, wandering the galleries. It's something we haven't done in a while. Just taking a break and being together will be healing since we've only had about a total of an hour "together time" in the past several days with work and everything else.

An afternoon of art and then dinner, together. We'll figure it out from there.

Will