Tuesday, June 30, 2009

What the ???! (with an update)

I have a routine appt later today with my OB/GYN to get a pap smear and breast exam to help get everything in order for the one-day workup in Colorado, which is scheduled for next Tuesday.

My period was due yesterday...and it failed to make an appearance. I had lots of anxious thoughts about what if it comes too late and then I'm not on the right cycle day for the one-day Colo testing...and what if things get pushed back and then the dates don't line up right to cycle out there before I start my fellowship in Sept...what if... what if... what if...

Just on some weird lark, I took a pregnancy test this morning. Those of you who've been reading a while know that my husband Will bought practically a crate of HPT kits during IVF #4.

So...um...I just don't know what to make of this.



Do you see a second line too? Or am I completely losing it?

Thoughts? Reactions? Surely it's just another faux pregnancy? Could we actually have something living inside me? Unless I'm psychotic, these tests appear to be positive....and I'm...um...PREGNANT?!....for the fifth time in two years. Third time naturally. Gack! Don't know WHAT to think or feel! Some kind of combo of happy and completely bewildered, mixed with massive amounts of caution and disbelief.

Blogworld, I know I've been rather absent of late, off in a corner licking my wounds after the latest loss. But please comment!!! I need to know that you're out there! I'm just overwhelmed and wondering if I've finally lost my mind and am hallucinating the second line...

Mo

p.s. call into RE to find out what my final beta level was...I know they were following it down after the chemical...please don't let this be a remnant of the previous loss!!! Could it go all the way down to less than five and then shoot back up again?

****Updated to add******
Talked to RE's office. My beta on May 27 was 17.4. On June 3rd it was less than 5. Assistant didn't know if that means it could have been zero or somewhere between 5 and zero...Enquiring (neurotic) minds want to know!

Beta, estrogen, and progesterone, have been drawn....waiting....waiting....waiting...

Add to Google Reader or Homepage Subscribe in NewsGator Online Subscribe in Bloglines Add to My AOL

60 comments:

  1. OK, so I know you don't know me, but I've been following your story. I'm an IVF vet, too. Anyway, I wanted to share part of my story with you.

    I did a cycle in February this year. My beta result was 4 so I stopped all meds, got a period, then started a new round of BCPs on CD3.

    All was well, started my Lupron, started my next period and went in for my baseline u/s and b/w. All was quiet with my u/s so they did my b/w and I was out the door.

    My clinic always tests hcg along w/ e2 and p4 for baselines. Anyway, that afternoon I started having horrible pains and had a hard time walking. My nurse called me around 3 and said that my hcg was 3300 and to hang up and call 911. I ended up having a ruptured tube from an ectopic pregnancy April 9th that was undiagnosed from my cycle the end of February.

    I did not know that was even a possibility. I had one full period and started another. I had been on BCPs. Apparently the 4 that came back on the beta test continued to rise. My clinic considers anything under a 5 a negative so they did not retest.

    I'm not trying to scare you. I just wanted you to know that it can happen.

    I hope to goodness that you are experiencing one of those wonderful surprise miracles that we all dream of and hear about.

    Cam

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thinking of you!!! Keep us updated. Very exciting news.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Um, that's totally a line.

    I'm holding out all kinds of hope over here. Let's have this one be a keeper, eh?

    Please go get an hCG test! Please post as soon as you know what's going on!

    ReplyDelete
  4. That's a line and it's way more than a the barely-squinty-probably imaginary line you'd get with a beta of 5.

    Since you're going, have them draw a beta and maybe do a quick wanding to see what's going on.

    Keep us posted!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Woah! That's some line. Let us know what happens next with your hcg and whether you get an ultrasound in as well. I'm really hoping this is a new line and a new life.

    ReplyDelete
  6. OMG OMG OMG!!!!! I highly doubt your beta would have shot back up after being down to a 5, but I'm no expert. I am hoping and praying this is the real, sticky deal!!! OMG, I'm so excited. PLease get a beta and update us ASAP! :) :) :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. wow.. this is weird.

    its DEFINITELY a line..

    as far as what it means, I don't know..can you go to the RE right now?? like seriously, before i go to work this morning, because i really can't wait to find out what is going on with you..

    i am worried and hopeful at the same time. more hopeful than worried though.. you are clearly producing HCG, and that means you are pregnant. And the level required for the first one is 50.

    I have never heard of levels that shoot back up.. you need to find out if you were down to zero.

    so, i assume you did the BD this month around your ovulation.. wow, this is great news. can't wait to find out.

    good friend of mine just had her baby, she got pregnant while waiting for her CCRM workup. maybe there is some sort of thing there. we shall all book appointments and screw up their calendar when we all cancel!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Another hope-junkie here. That's definitely a second line. I hope it's everything we all dream about. It's about damn time! Keep us posted. We're all rooting for you!

    ReplyDelete
  9. I have nothing constructive to add to help you make sense of this development. I just wanted to pass along my best wishes and hope that this has a successful and happy outcome for you both. You deserve it!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Wow - that is definitely a line! I don't have any advice - but just wanted to send you tonnes of good luck! Keep us updated.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Definitely 2 lines! Hoping so hard that this is it for you!

    ReplyDelete
  12. That sure looks like a line...And I sure hope it is not here as a last bastion of the previous cycle...

    ...hope.

    ReplyDelete
  13. wow, crazy! If your beta was 36 a month ago, I don't think it can be leftover.
    I am hoping you'll be one of those stories, those crazy "it happens".Good luck!!!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Definitely get a beta! Stranger things have happened! I'm a testament to that! I just had to laugh when I saw this post because I know "less than 5" would NOT show up on a pregnancy test. Can't wait to see the outcome!!!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Those are totally second lines, and no way are they "leftover" from last cycle. Have you got any clue when you might have ovulated?
    Wishing you the best for your betas and your upcoming ultrasound! (I'm convinced you're going to need one!)

    ReplyDelete
  16. omg - did you go and have a beta test - for the love of god give us a number!
    That is SOOO a line, and I so so so hope that you are going to follow Chicklets trend of awful IVF cycle followed by big ol knockedupness.
    do not worry about wicking those lines, we have ALL been there.

    ReplyDelete
  17. YAY! that's two lines!!!! TWO LINES!!!!!!!!!! Post what your beta is! I'm cheering for you!

    ReplyDelete
  18. That's a real line alright!!! Wow. Fill us in as soon as you know more!

    ReplyDelete
  19. WOW WOW wowwwwww!!!! That is so awesome and certainly TWO LINES. I can't wait to see what your beta is!! fingers crossed for you

    ReplyDelete
  20. Definitely positive pg tests!! That really isn't likely to be remains from the old pregnancy. Unless it was a molar pregnancy, your HCG levels should have continued to go down.

    SO...CONGRATS ON THE NEW PREGNANCY!! I really hope that this suprise baby is your sticky little miracle!

    Please keep us posted!!

    ReplyDelete
  21. I am currently in the midst of something similar. My second Beta went down from 31.5 to 16.8 on June 5. They didn't do any additional Betas after the 16.8. I was spotting but never really started bleeding, so I took a test on June 14 and it was positive. Beta next day was 294 and has climbed since. Not really sure what is going on with me (most likely a blighted ovum), but it sounds like this may be the real deal with you as you had a period (which I didn't) and the timing makes sense for you to have conceived on your own. Fingers crossed!

    ReplyDelete
  22. HOLY SHIT MO!
    that is most definitely a line.
    and
    below 5 means chemically non-pregnant-- they are usually not more specific at the lab itself.
    For sanity (HA) I'd go in for bloodwork and a U/S as soon as they let you and
    Holy crap that just might be the coolest thing ever. HOPEFUL
    kate

    ReplyDelete
  23. WOW! All I have to say is that I'm crossing all my fingers and toes and hoping for the best for you and Will. :)

    ReplyDelete
  24. I see a line, too! Can't wait to see what your bloodwork comes back at! Keep us posted!

    ReplyDelete
  25. WOW I am hoping, praying, got ever thing crossed that this is IT. That this is what you have been waiting for. I wish I could answer your questions. I know you will keep us all posted.

    OH PLEASE PLEASE LET IT BE!!!

    ReplyDelete
  26. OMG - there is so a 2nd line there...mine was lighter than that....CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!
    Let us know what happens!

    ReplyDelete
  27. Your 5 could not go back up.

    Those are definitely two lines which means you definitely are pg.

    Whether that is a pregnancy that will 'stick' of course no one can say -- but I think I would celebrate!

    ReplyDelete
  28. Oh! Oh! Oh! I am so shocked and delighted for you!

    And I wouldn't worry about it being leftover hcg--betas CAN fall and rise again in ectopics, but not all the way to below five and then up again, ESPECIALLY in the absence of bleeding. Usually the falling and rising is from, say, 400 to 200 and back to 300. The first poster's story was an entirely different situation with a low starting beta, but I would bet that between her initial 4 and eventual 3300, her hcg was never again less than 5, if that makes sense.

    I am hoping and hoping for you!

    ReplyDelete
  29. Only the super early tests could see a 5 - these pee-stick tests usually only come positive with >25, and those are positive. I'm sure you know that. Good luck!

    ReplyDelete
  30. Goodluck guys! I hope this is the "one"!

    ReplyDelete
  31. Just wanted to send my super duper happy pregnancy vibes along to you. Finger and toes crossed....will be waiting for an update!

    ReplyDelete
  32. That is most definitely two lines. Wooo-freaking-hooo. When my beta was 18, the test didn't show positive, so this is for sure the real thing. Hoping for some good news and numbers from betas.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Can I swear here?

    Unbelievable. Good luck.

    ReplyDelete
  34. I am SO happy for you both, and will be thinking sticky baby thoughts for you. Keep us posted!

    ReplyDelete
  35. Umm, wow!!! That's freaking awesome... can't wait to hear what your RE says! :)

    Best wishes!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  36. I agree, below 5 is not pregnant, that is not leftover from IVF. I just got goosebumps. Will the RE let you come in for a BETA????

    ReplyDelete
  37. Am crossing everything I can cross...sending best wishes and hoping THIS IS IT!

    Mindy

    ReplyDelete
  38. OMFG!!!! MO!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'd jump up and down, but it would hurt my feet too much!!! Crossing everything I can cross. (A friend told me she was crossing her tits for me for my last cycle. Since mine are so huge now, I'll give it a try for you.)

    Oh, please, Universe, Powers That Be, Flying Spaghetti Monster, let this be Mo and Will's baby! They'll be such wonderful parents.

    ReplyDelete
  39. I hope it is good news!

    Looking forward to hear from you soon!

    ReplyDelete
  40. Wow. Just wow.

    ...waiting for your beta with my fingers crossed.

    ReplyDelete
  41. Definitely seeing the line! I'll be waiting anxiously to hear the beta results. Sending you a hug as you wait.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Holy Moly!! Those are lines, my dear. Hoping, praying, crossing everything that this is finally your miracle!

    ReplyDelete
  43. Waiting for the beta with my fingers crossed!!

    ReplyDelete
  44. Oh please, please, please let those two lines mean what they are supposed to mean!!!! That would be such awesome news! Post your blood work results as soon as you have them back.

    Tons of positive baby vibes coming your way!!

    ReplyDelete
  45. Definitely keeping my fingers crossed for you!!

    ReplyDelete
  46. OMG -- totally keeping fingers and toes crossed for you. That is totally a line.

    ReplyDelete
  47. Sending wonderful thoughts your way!!!

    ReplyDelete
  48. Absolutely, definitely a gosh-darn-real line you got there, Mo!

    Pulling thumbs, crossing fingers, etc... while waiting for an update:)

    ReplyDelete
  49. Definitely a line there! Waiting & hoping for a good beta for you!

    ReplyDelete
  50. Holy crap, that is freaking incredible. Keeping it all crossed for you and please update with beta!

    ReplyDelete
  51. OMG! I hope this is the one. You've been on quite the rollercoaster ride. I can't wait to see your update with numbers.

    ReplyDelete
  52. Oh my god! I am keeping my fingers crossed and sending all the good positive thoughts I can conjure up your way. I will be checking back obsessively waiting for beta news! It's really way past time for something good to happen for you guys.

    ReplyDelete
  53. Holding my breath and hoping huge things for you guys!

    ReplyDelete
  54. WOW. Just... WOW! I really hope this is it for you!!

    ReplyDelete
  55. That is most definitely a line!

    ReplyDelete
  56. Yes it is a line. Ummmm, please hurry and get a beta.

    ReplyDelete
  57. holy fucking moly. That's a new pregancy. If it had been 0, 1, 2, 3, 4, or 5 - those lines are from more than that.

    STICKY VIBES!!!

    ReplyDelete
  58. Here's hoping!!

    - Molly
    http://roots-andwings.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete

What do YOU think?