Friday, October 8, 2010

Transfer day

Thank you all so much for your good thoughts and well-wishes. They mean more than we can say.

Transfer complete, but not without a few hair-raising moments. First we received a call from the nurse yesterday that the transfer might be cancelled because I potentially misunderstood (still unclear to me) and took the first dose of progesterone a few hours early. Dr. Schl. ended up saying a few hours makes no difference, but it was a real panic situation for about 30 minutes that basically ended up seeming like needless drama from the nurse. That imaginary crisis averted, all systems were again go.

This morning, we were scheduled to arrive at the clinic at 11AM but received a call at 7:30AM to "put on my pants and just get there asap" - apparently all of Dr. Schl's transfers got moved up this morning by several hours. So we hightailed it over there and I had acupuncture and then the standard 10 mg of valium they give to relax you. Mmmmm.

They thawed three CCS and FISH chromosomally normal embryos:
Embryo #5 from June - a 6BA
Embryo #14 from June - a 4BB
and Embryo #6 from March - a 6BB

All survived, with 100% cell survival for two of them and 98% cell survival for the third. One of the three completely re-expanded, and the other two moderately and minimally (but the third one was thawed last in our race to the new transfer time this morning, and so may catch up). The lack of re-expansion on the two (see pic below) scares the bejeezus out of me, but I'm trying to just accept it and hope for the best. Not sure how critical it is. Any of you know?

After spending much time post-transfer trying to pee in a bedpan (boy that was difficult!) and getting a second round of acupuncture, I'm back at hotel and on bed rest until Sunday - planning to snooze a lot after very little sleep last night (nerves) and watch multiple episodes of Mad Men for entertainment. Love that show. Will is as usual being a champ and helping me do everything I need. Such a good husband!

I'm not feeling too hopeful, more just terrified, which is maybe what hope looks and feels like at this stage of the game? Talisman necklace clutched tightly in hand, prayers on my lips. Hoping to find a zen place to settle my mind in soon, but so far somewhat failing.

Here are the Mo and Will threesome below, if you're curious.


Any thoughts on the lack/slowness of re-expansion and what it portends? Any of you btdt with vitrified blasts and had a good or not-good outcome?

More to come soon...

Mo

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46 comments:

  1. Grow embies grow!

    Fingers are crossed & prayers going up that you get your BFP in a few days!

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  2. Keeping all my fingers crossed for you on the far side of the pond. Enjoy chilling out for the weekend!

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  3. Fingers crossed, waves of hope being sent your way.

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  4. ah mo and will hold those embies in your heart space. I believe there is nothing more healing and growing than an open heart. I will be holding the 5 of you in the light and keeping my heart open even in those times you cannot. Much love May

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  5. I think that if they were planning to do the transfer later originally, these are most likely right on target and will just finishing their re-expanding now that they are all snuggled inside you! That sounds so exciting. I hope your bedrest goes well and that the 2WW passes quickly. Hooray!

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  6. So sorry for all the drama!! Sending sticky thoughts your way. Hope the next 9 days until beta pass quickly.

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  7. HopingWishingHoping!!!!!

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  8. Hoping with everything I've got...

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  9. Thinking of you today! Take care Will and Mo!

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  10. Fingers crossed and hoping hoping hoping (both that the next few days pass quickly, and have a happy result at the end).

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  11. Wow. I'm so glad the day finally came! I've been checking and checking these last few months. Sending you all the hope I have.

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  12. hoping, hoping, hoping!!! You all are in my thoughts and prayers.

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  13. You have come so far and been through so much! I'm hoping and praying with everything I have for you. And I'm also crossing everything. I'm hoping that all your dreams come true and that in a little over a week, you get the best news of your life.

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  14. Sending you best wishes. I've got everything crossed for you!!!

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  15. Got my crossables crossed for you. I had an IUI on Wed, so we're on pretty much the same time table. Here's hoping we both get off this rollercoaster this month. Enjoy your Mad Men fix!

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  16. Wow, I'm so happy to read it's really happened! I have zero expertise on IVF, so I'll leave others to answer your question. But I loooove Mad Men!

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  17. I know nothing about blasts or about FETs so I have no insight for you but I am rooting for you all the way to beta day. Have a safe trip back to NY.

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  18. No place better than your uterus to grow and expand. Lots of prayers being sent, this your cycle! When and how much of the claritin, prednisone, and pepic are you taking? Lynne

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  19. They are super cute!!! Good to hear all worked out in the end and you are in bed until Sunday. Think happy positive thoughts to try and entice them to decide to stick around for 9 months... nothing good will come from worrying about things you can't change. GOOD LUCK!!!

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  20. Wishing you the best of luck after this transfer... You guys DESERVE the best outcome!!

    Enjoy the relaxation for the next couple of days!

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  21. Those are gorgeous blasts. Hoping like crazy for you.

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  22. I am so sorry that you had to have any drama this morning. I am so happy that you have three on board - I have no clue about the expansion, I hope that you get some good info.

    ((HUGS)) - and here is to a very fast 2ww.

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  23. I have been on the edge of my seat!!! I am so thrilled for you and don't worry, we all have enough hope for you that you can just sit back and try to rest and relax...and have a safe trip back home!!

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  24. Delurking to let you know that I am rooting for you and Will! I've been quietly following along since your first post. All my fingers and toes are crossed!

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  25. Sending you lots of good vibes from the north!

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  26. I've got everything crossed for you guys!!! Hoping those embies snuggle up and settle in good!

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  27. Yuck on the unnecessary drama, but yay for the transfer! And in my totally non-scientific opinion, transferring a little early is a GOOD thing because embies fare better in their natural environment, your uterus, than anywhere else. I'm glad you get to lay low for a couple of days. And kudos to Will for being the kind of partner we should all have (mine is too).

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  28. Everything I own remains crossed for you.

    And Mo! I mean this in the kindest and lovingest way possible, but really? After all you and Will have traveled through on this journey, you are looking at blasts and whether they do or don't expand and trying to predict outcomes from that? Really? If there's one thing I've learned from my own travels and those of others it's that the amount of predictability in this process at the individual level is lower than the interest rate currently in place at the Fed.

    No, of course that's not what you are doing. You are worrying. And that, of course, is what we do. Here's hoping you can find some good distractions, because those are the only thing I know to recommend. I'll be thinking of (and checking on) you. Be gentle with yourself, and your precious embryos.

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  29. What could I possibly say to you, who've experienced it all on the IVF-front, that would be appropriately encouraging without sounding naive? I just don't have the right words, except that I'm wishing with my whole being that this is it for you and Will. May the planets align. You are in my thoughts.

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  30. "I'm not feeling too hopeful, more just terrified, which is maybe what hope looks and feels like at this stage of the game?"
    After as many IVF's as you and I have been through, yes this is what hope feels like.
    I know nothing about the blasts. I just HOPE that it all goes as it should for 40 long weeks.

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  31. Just checking in to let you know that you're in my thoughts, and I'm sending you big hugs and hoping so much for you.

    Hang tough Mo!

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  32. Mo

    Praying that all goes well with you bedrest. I would just trust in him, (sch) he just knows.......

    All is crossed for you

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  33. I wouldn't put too much thought/worry into the expansion/reexpansion thing...your transfer was moved up so who knows what they would have looked like a few hours later...all that matters is they're in now and what happens will happen. It's hard to stay in that mindset but it's all you can do. And watch Madmen like mad--it's an awesome show!
    Wishing and hoping for you!

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  34. Will be thinking of and praying for you over the next few days. Good luck. I know it's hard not to obsess over every little thing, but just know that you're amazing and inspirational regardless of the outcome.

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  35. Glad to hear the three musketeers are back home. Hope one or two stick around for the duration!

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  36. Mo, I came across your blog for the first time tonight. My husband and I will be trying our first IVF treatment next month. After reading your story, I want this more for you than me right now. I am praying that this is the miracle you have been waiting for! The Lord is aware of you, and you will be a mother! Sending you every positive bit of energy I have!

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  37. Wishing you good luck a million times over.... I think as relaxed and positive a mindset as possible really helps but I know it's so very hard.... Enjoy Mad Men!

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  38. Thinking of you during that hellishly long wait until beta. One of our blasts reexpaneded immediately after thaw...the other one was still only partially expanded in the picture (though I was assured it had fully reexpanded by transfer time)...who knows. And who knows which one eventually became my gigantic bundle of happiness...but man that is a gorgeous fully reexpanded blast. May it become even more gorgeous with time....

    Wishing you all the best in the world....

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  39. Oh Mo - congratulations on being PUPO! I bet those little guys will stretch right out once they find the snuggly nest you have for them. Sending good thoughts your way!

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  40. I hope you are enjoying your bedrest time - and taking it easy. I'm not sure about the re-expansion part - The one looks great - like mine did - but I only thawed one, so I'm not sure how others may have looked. I would imagine they keep expanding. My fingers are crossed for all 5 of you!

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  41. If I hoped any harder I'd sprain something.
    Terror/hope, oh yeah, that part? I am so with you there.

    Wishing for you, wanting for you, hoping for you, yes, even praying (agnostiKate)-- just wanting so badly for this to work, Work, the big W work--

    remember the breathe, and know that those little ones are now in the safest and best possible place for thriving.

    Sending big love
    xoxo
    Kate

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  42. Wow! Why can there never be no drama around transfer? But yahh for 1 awesome and 2 great looking embies! I think they are right I wouldn't worry too much about the 2 that were slow to expand, sometimes FET's are slower at developing. I know many, many women that have been successful with vitrified embies.

    I know it's hard to be hopeful and optimistic considering everything that you 2 have gone thru, but we are all cheering you on. Thinking lots of good thought for this one for you!
    All my best!

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  43. Mo, wishing you and Will at least one baby in July/August 2011. They look like beautiful blasts and they are normal!

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  44. Please, please, please let this work! Wishing you success and a really quick 2ww. Saying a little prayer over here.

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  45. Sending sooooo many good thoughts your way for success. Three is a magic number, according to School House Rock. I wish all the magic in the world for you and will and your three little spots of hope.

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  46. ours had similar lacklustre expansion rates from memory and well, I think that just means that are well balanced kids when they come out - ours are :) Every thing crossed for all 5 of you.

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