Monday, January 7, 2013

For my birthday, I ask you...


Thank you guys for your comments on the last post. It helps. I'm feeling better. Seven days of antibiotics ahead of me, but fever is down and blockage has shifted, and I think I will make it. I've decided not to try to make any decisions about anything while I'm still a bit under the weather. But I'm going to try a number of your suggestions (the ones I'm not already doing) and will keep you posted.

In the meantime...it's my birthday this week! - and for the first time in about five years, I am not approaching it with apprehension, but rather with joy. I've got Magpie here beside me. I still can't believe it, but I feel so, so lucky. With my daughter's (my daughter's!!) arrival, birthdays (and aging in general) have been recast again as something to look forward to. Prior to infertility, I had celebrated aging each year. I am a cancer survivor, after all, and when diagnosed at age 27, I developed the deep and legitimate fear that I might not have many birthdays to come. So each birthday was a wondrous and truly celebrated occasion, a reminder of life, of my gratitude for being here. It felt strange and complicated when in my mid-thirties, the presence of infertility, and the passing of my supposedly fertile years, meant that each birthday also marked the ever-closing possibility of having a biogenetic child. I distinctly remember sobbing in my bed on my 37th birthday when after two years of infertility treatments, I was no closer to a baby. It felt so wrong to be so sad - after all, I was also so grateful to be living! And yet there it was.

And now here I am. Alive. And with a very alive child beside me. And not just any child, but this amazing girl Magpie. Wow.

So. It's my birthday this week.

And for my birthday, I have a request for you.

Would you leave me a comment and help me expand my blog reading?

Will you share with me your favorite blog?

Specifically your favorite infertility or parenting-after-infertility or loss blog. Extra points if it happens to also be from a writer's or psychologist's or MD's/RN's other health care professional's vantage point.

If you can't narrow it down to a single blog, you can cheat and send me two urls. But I really want to know your top picking(s). The blog or two that you can't wait to read when the author posts. The one you wonder where they are when they haven't posted in a bit.

I want to expand my reading horizons. So help a birthday girl out, ok?

And thanks, as always, for reading and being there. Thanks today for helping me to celebrate : )

Mo


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64 comments:

  1. Happy birthday! May all your dreams come true! Wait, they did. Alrightie then, be healthy and happy and joyous, mama!
    You already read all the blogs I like. I am so sorry I cannot be of more help here...
    Hugs and loads of happy birthday wishes!

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  2. Haha! I think you already know mine!

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  3. I am an OBGYN, parenting after infertility, trying for number 2... if you fancy...

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  4. Well now, yours is my favourite one and I'm so glad we finally have your happy ending!

    The other blog I love, love, love is someone I met in your comments actually (doesn't that feel all full circle?).

    http://my--fascinating--life.blogspot.com/

    Enjoy - you will LOVE her blog!

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  5. PS happy birthday

    PPS you're the only person I'd fill in those horrible capcha (sp?) things for TWICE!

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  6. Marcia

    so sorry about the capcha. i've been having so much spamming, i finally had to put it back in place. hoping after a period of cooling off time, i can turn it off again. thank you so much for being such a longtime reader - can't believe we've come so close to meeting twice but haven't succeeded. hopefully third time will be the charm!

    Mo

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  8. My favourite blog is A Little Pregnant. Her kids (IVF and DE) are now eight and four.

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  9. A very happy birthday Mo! One blog I've enjoyed reading is The Infertile Gynecologist (infertilegynecologist.blogspot.com). She doesn't update as often anymore since she had her baby, but it's still a fave. Here's to enjoying many more birthdays as a mom!!!!

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  10. Happy Birthday - glad the boobs are feeling slightly better!
    Everydaystranger.net is the best blog out there. Well, that and younghouselove.com - it's pretty good, too. But not IVF- related...just awesome-related.

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  12. Happy Birthday, Mo!! So glad you will get to enjoy it- you've earned every bit of that joy.

    your blog is my fave and i have found most others i follow through you. :)

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  13. This is my favorite blog for lots of reasons, though it's not related to infertility. http://momastery.com/blog/

    Hope the mastitis continues to improve! Breastfeeding was one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life. Good, in the end, but OHMYGOD that pain level was heretofore unknown to me, labor included.

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  14. I don't usually read any parenting blogs, Mo :( But I love http://joannagoddard.blogspot.com/, not IVF related but so great!

    Happy Birthday!! xo

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  15. Well, you can always read MY blog! :) I've been following you since before Magpie was just two little lines on that HPT, but only start blogging myself a month ago. I guess I'm kind of behind where you're at -- going into my first IVF -- but I fulfill at least one of your criteria because I'm a writer by profession. Would love to have you over sometime!

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  16. Happy Birthday, Mo. I'm thrilled that you are celebrating your birthday in such stellar company this year. I hope that you will be all clear of the mastitis once this round of antibiotics is done, and that it will never return.

    On my very favourite blogs is Bunny's blog, at Glum Bunny http://glumbunny.wordpress.com/
    She is an academic psychologist and mother of 2 after IF.

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  17. My top psychotherapy blog EVER:
    http://whatashrinkthinks.com/

    happy birthday, Mo! So thrilled for you!

    - Yana

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  18. I found most of the blogs I follow through you, I think, but I love Stupid Stork, (still trying for #1, but OH SO FUNNY!) http://stupidstork.blogspot.com/

    and Maddy at http://lateforaveryimportantpregnancy.wordpress.com/

    who is also still trying for #1, so maybe not what you're looking for.

    Happy Birthday Mama-- enjoy every precious minute of it!

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  19. Happy birthday! My favorite medical parent blog is http://theunderweardrawer.blogspot.com/ (anesthesiologist) and my favorite medical parent blog with a side of infertility is http://mommyhoodafterfertilityfrustration.wordpress.com/ (nicu nurse part time), and there's me too, but docs and (future) pharmacists may not be allowed to be friends ;)

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  20. You are one of my most frequently recommended blogs! But, I would recommend Taking the Statistical Bullet. She had RPL, and through IVF/PGD has a 4 year old. She later had 2 spontaneous, healthy, pregnancies.

    I would also love if you jumped over to my blog, myroseamongthorns.blogspot.com

    It's a recent creation-both of my sons are via IVF, and I started it a few weeks ago to chronicle treatments for #3, only to find out I was spontaneously pregnant already! 1st ultrasound was today. I would love some new readers! (and some comments, but hey..beggars can't be choosers ;)

    Happy, happy birthday, many, MANY more!!!

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  21. My favorite blog is Maybe If You Just Relax. She is hilarious and has two children, one conceived through fertility treatments and one natural. She also had a set of twins through in vitro but one died in utero and other about 17 months after her birth. Sad, but she is funny and realistic about things. It is jenepper.com. I also have a blog called fertilechallenges.blogspot.com. I am a Licensed Specialist in School Psychology here in Austin. Happy reading and good luck with everything

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  22. Happy Birthday Mo! This blog:
    http://www.rastalesstraveled.com/
    Is an inspiration for me of what it means to be a great mom. Lynne

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  23. I am a shockingly bad blogger - in the sense that I don't update very often (full-time job, small child and new house) - so I'd feel a bit of a fraud recommending my own! One I really love is "Little Bird": http://angelarodman.blogspot.co.uk. She is parenting after losing her daughter at full term. She writes *beautifully*, honestly and (unlike me) often. She has also written an ebook for parents who have experienced a late loss.
    Happy birthday!

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  24. Happy birthday!

    I don't have a blog to recommend on those topics. However I wanted to wish you well on your birthday. :) I'm glad this one is a happier one for you.

    I'm looking forward to checking out some of the suggested blogs!

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  25. Happy Birthday!! I found your blog about a year ago and have since learned that my husband and I are struggling with infertility. Unfortunately I don't have any blogs to add but I would love to see what other readers have to add to the list.
    Thanks for sharing your story and it has been exciting following your journey to motherhood!
    Kim

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  26. Ashley and Pat lost their 19 month old in a freak drowning accident. Her words and how she has dealt with moving on has really opened my eyes to my own trial (infertility). And how, even when I'm SO tired.. I still get to rock my baby girl to sleep.

    Read it. It will change you. And make you a better parent and person.

    www.sullengers.com

    Happy Birthday!!

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  27. Happy happy birthday! Wishing all good things for you and Miss Magpie in the year ahead. You may already read this blog, but I've been following singlemom2b.blogspot.com. She did IVF at CCRM and gave birth at 25 weeks last April. Lately it's a lot of medical jargon as she updates on little Ella's progress. You can't help but root for them after all they've been through (ditto you and Magpie!).

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  28. My favorite blog is Enjoying the Small things http://www.kellehampton.com/
    Wonderful writing and beautiful photos. She's also written a book, Bloom, about the birth of her second daughter who was born with Down Syndrome.

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  29. I love flotsamblog.com (parenting after infertility and baby loss, I guess. Also comedy.).

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  30. Happy Birthday!

    My two faves are slightly off topic, but not too much. They are too good not to read.
    I love Mrs. Spit. She is actually living child free after loss. But her writing and perspective are lovely. Make sure to get her backstory. She has had quite the journey!
    http://mrsspit.ca/

    Ask Moxie is one of my favorite parenting sites. She and the community surrounding the site are awesome. If you have issues, search the archives. I am sure someone has been there before.
    http://www.askmoxie.org/
    And check out the ask moxie facebook page. You may have to get permission to post on the page (because it is a closed group.) But another awesome resource.

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  31. yea for feeling better and happy happy birthday :)

    totally off topic: r/t meal planning (from marcia's blog). i did really well this past semester doing meal planning and this is what started me off: http://www.sixsistersstuff.com/2012/09/slow-cooker-freezer-meals-make-8-meals.html

    i made a bunch of stuff and froze it. it literally didn't take long...so then i could plan a few other things and always have a freezer meal on my list. i'm happy to share some of my staples (super duper easy, healthy, and delish) if you're interested. in general, i make about 3-4 meals per week and re-purpose any leftovers that dont get eaten. I also take about half of whatever gets made and freeze it immediately. it helps cut down a lot on prep, planning, etc. :) (ok. enough meal planning clutter). (oh! one more thing: people have said that when you're starting it is good to have a rotation of x number of things that you make all of the time, so that they are really old hat and easy, then cycle in other things).

    fave blogs? I used to love white picket fences....but now we just email and text mostly (i think you know her? i know she reads your blog b/c we talk about you!!), Rebecca (http://thejoyofivf.blogspot.com/) is hysterical, but is a teacher, and I think that you already read the personal blog of Baby Smiling, right?

    looking for something that will just make you giggle occasionally? Try The Great Fitness Experiment (http://www.thegreatfitnessexperiment.com/). She's a mormon gal with a history of eating disorders and other psych issues that is willing to try anything (and subject her friends) in the name of "fitness science" ;)

    ok. sorry for the crazy long post. i thought i had your email?

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  32. Maybe If You Just Relax... hilarious! Irreverent! www.jennepper.com

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  33. Happy birthday! What a joy.

    Blogs: besides many those already mentioned I am very fond of Stacey, blogging at http://anymommyoutthere.com/ (motherhood and loss; mothering 4 children, 3 bio one adopted; has a great sense of humor and also of perspective; has written compelling about her experience of a disrupted adoption); and of Julia (Here Be Hippogriffs) at julia.typepad.com. She's mothering 3, an "older" (9?) son and just-turned-5 twins and went through a horrific series of RPLs (the twins are sometimes referred to by her and by commenters as "the 13s" because they were pregnancy #13). It may e hard to get the full flavor of her blog if you haven't read at least some of her history, but regardless, her writing is wonderful.

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  34. Happy Birthday!

    A couple of my favorites who fit your extra points parameters:
    Strong Blonde -- PhD nurse http://strongblonde.wordpress.com/

    Anabegins -- MD
    ana-begins.blogspot.com

    And I may or may not fit your extra points too, but work doesn't come up on my blog.

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  35. One of my favorites- bonus points - she's a nurse.
    http://www.indigogirl.typepad.com/

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  36. I stalk a blog called I'm just Ducky, thanks. She's expecting twin girls through a surrogate in a couple of months, despite the stress of it all her great sense of humor always shines through in her posts.
    http://justduckii.blogspot.com/

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  37. Happy happy birthday!!

    I see that Ask Moxie has already been mentioned. Its a great resource. Need to find out about sleep regressions, teething, or (oh I hope not) night terrors, Moxie's archives are awesome. Magda and her crew of commenters (many from the ALI community) are a wealth of information. She also did a terrific series of posts about the chapters of Nurture Shock.

    I also have a new guilty pleasure that I will not post here. I'll send it to you privately. :-)

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  38. wishing you the very happiest of birthdays sweet lady :)

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  39. Happy Birthday, Mo!!! I so feel for you about your breast feeding issues, you are the personification of persistent, I love that about you. I had a rough time breastfeeding too, it's bloody tough.

    Anyway, this is not so much a blog but a good resource: www.babysleepsite.com/ JBB was always a pretty good sleeper but it is a good resource in times of regression especially.

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  40. Happy birthday! My favorite lately is Nuts in May -- her British snark is simply fab. She's an RPL-er, too. http://nutsinmay.wordpress.com/2013/01/08/pissiness

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  41. Happy Birthday :-)

    I love Rasta Less Travelled (already on your blog list) and my other favourite is

    http://fortheloveofbabyliam.blogspot.com.au/

    Amazing story of Becky who has lost her first son at 26 weeks then her daughter at term. She is about to cycle using a gestational carrier.

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  42. Happy Birthday! Still so happy for you and Will.

    Your blog ranks right up there for me.

    Other favorites are Julia of Here be Hippogriffs and Baby, Borneo or Bust (http://babyborneoorbust.blogspot.com). Plus Mel of Stirrup Queens for all her parenting posts (and infertility, of course, but she and her husband seem to be such great parents!).

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  43. Happy birthday! I so hear you in how different birthdays feel after the amazing ivf child arrives. I can't imagine how complicated it has been for you given your cancer on top of a horrendous journey to magpie.

    I really enjoy reading: http://www.jennepper.com

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  44. Okay this one's not about infertility though this woman has suffered a miscarriage.... I've linked you to the 'read this if you're new here' - the post that made me cry but also amazed me at how raw and honest it was. A young woman whose second daughter was born with down's syndrome.

    http://www.kellehampton.com/p/nellas-birth-story.html

    Merran (in Australia) :)

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  45. Happy Birthday, Mo!! So glad that you are able to celebrate this year. I'm sorry this is not infertility-related, but my favorite blog is www.mom-101.com. It's awesome! She is an advertising exec living in Brooklyn with two little girls. She is interesting, funny and posts frequently. I read her blog for years before I had a child of my own! Good luck with whatever you decide to do with BFing. That is definitely hard work. Whatever you decide to do will be fine! Heather

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  46. While not a loss/pg blog, this is a hilarious parenting blog.

    http://putdowntheurinalcake.com/

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  47. I hope you have a wonderful birthday!!!! As far as the blog request, quite honestly, yours is the only one that I read regularly!

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  48. You're already very familiar with my favorites- Kate's and Susan's. I wanted to comment though just to wish you a magnificent birthday. Congratulations once again on Magpie's arrival. I wish you all the best that motherhood has to offer. Enjoy!

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  49. Happy Birthday! I think I read pretty much the same blogs you do, so I don't really have anything new to add except Edenland. She's a writer, kid #2 conceived through IVF, and her husband is a cancer survivor.

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  50. Happy Birthday! How about mine?
    www.wishingawayinfertility.blogspot.com

    or else on happier topics:)
    www.epicurative.blogspot.com

    xo,
    Weylin

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  51. Hello Mo! Happy Birthday!! I am turning 41 next month and these birthdays seem to feel scary at times too but having children make it better, your Magpie is so beautful..I have a confession, I have been following you for so long!! I have been a stalker almost!! I have told myself that I will start to leave my comments. I do not have much to offer but prayers and oh so many comments on how beautiful your daugher is!! The first blog that lead me to you is Sprogblogger,you don't need that link..the other one I like is Maybe If you Just Relax.. I am not great at the tech stuff but the site is www.jennepper.com..check it out!! Have a great day and glad to hear you are feeling better!!

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  52. Many more happy returns of the day !

    Might be you would like my blog ! : )

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  53. Happy Birthday!
    You are honestly one of my favorites...another blog I'm loving right now is little chicken nuggets:
    http://littlechickennugget.wordpress.com

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  54. Happy birthday Mo! I have to say that ever since I started following your blog, yours has been one of those 'looking forward to' ones... Someone else mentioned 'A Little Pregnant' - I second that. I also like 'Rasta Less Traveled', twins via surrogacy/parenting a medically complex child blog that often brings tears to my eyes. I also have a blog that I now rarely post to, 'Sibling for Sophie Cleo' - about being a surrogate for a friend, who incidentally also has a blog that you can get to via a link from my first blog post. There. That should keep you going for a while :D By the way, it's my birthday this Thursday - what's your favourite blog?

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  55. Happy Birthday! Have been lurking for a couple yrs now, and am so happy for you on little Magpie's birth. I am a clinical psychologist who has a 2 yr old after 3 IVFs, and have wanted to start my own blog about parenting after IVF, as it truly seems sometimes like a bit of a different bag. More anxiety, more fear, but perhaps more appreciation? Also more shame-- I could relate to your post of how insanely hard those first few months are, and for me, I felt that I didn't deserve to feel exhausted/frustrated/depressed, because after all, wasn't I supposed to rejoice in every moment? Whatever. Anyway, if I finally get my head out of my behind, I will start a blog and tell you about it. My personal favorite parenting blog, as it makes me laugh and spit up coffee, is Rants from Mommyland. Not exactly a how to manual, but a great blog for validation when you're having a tough day.

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  56. You have a great blog. Been following your story from infertility to mommyhood. You are such an inspiration!

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  57. terobertson.blogspot.com She just conceived #3 thanks to IVF. All other children were IVF as well!

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  58. Happy birthday, Mo. Your story gives me such hope. You've been through so much that it helps me put my cancelled IVF into perspective. So happy you finally have your little girl!

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  59. http://lisabttc.wordpress.com/

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  60. http://threegeminis.wordpress.com/

    I love her sense of humor! Enjoy!

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  62. She writes *beautifully*, honestly and (unlike me) often. She has also written an ebook for parents who have experienced a late loss.
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  63. Though late, even though I do not know you, I want to say happy birthday, may you always be happy with your family.
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