Grieving miscarriage and looking ahead

We continue to just feel our way through this, try to figure out what path makes the most sense and feels right in our hearts. It's hard. Our history of multiple miscarriages is hard, and the possibility of more loss has sometimes felt unbearable.

Today I saw this article in TIME, which says that even if we succeed - newsflash - grief over a miscarriage doesn't necessarily disappear. And apparently, the number of losses matters, in terms of how hard it is to shake your sadness. Thirteen percent of women who had one miscarriage or stillbirth* before a live birth were depressed nearly three years later. This rises to 19% for those with at least two losses. And rises again to 22% for those with four losses before a healthy birth.

I'm glad this topic is receiving national press attention, and I'm thrilled it's even being studied, since the psychological impact of miscarriage is such an underinvestigated area. I know, because I'm a clinician and a researcher, and I've tried to read up on it as a way to comfort and educate myself. But truly, I find none of these data surprising. Was it expected that loss, and in particular multiple losses, wouldn't have a longer/larger impact?

Reading this, of course, leaves me wondering what the rate of depression is of those who have six losses before a healthy live birth.

And even harder, but on our minds as we consider next steps on our journey, the very real question:

What if you never have a healthy baby? What then?

Mo

*and seriously? the researchers combined miscarriage and stillbirth as though they are one and the same and can be collapsed together? Bad researchers!!

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