Thank you guys for your comments on the last post. It helps. I'm feeling better. Seven days of antibiotics ahead of me, but fever is down and blockage has shifted, and I think I will make it. I've decided not to try to make any decisions about anything while I'm still a bit under the weather. But I'm going to try a number of your suggestions (the ones I'm not already doing) and will keep you posted.
In the meantime...it's my birthday this week! - and for the first time in about five years, I am not approaching it with apprehension, but rather with joy. I've got Magpie here beside me. I still can't believe it, but I feel so, so lucky. With my daughter's (my daughter's!!) arrival, birthdays (and aging in general) have been recast again as something to look forward to. Prior to infertility, I had celebrated aging each year. I am a cancer survivor, after all, and when diagnosed at age 27, I developed the deep and legitimate fear that I might not have many birthdays to come. So each birthday was a wondrous and truly celebrated occasion, a reminder of life, of my gratitude for being here. It felt strange and complicated when in my mid-thirties, the presence of infertility, and the passing of my supposedly fertile years, meant that each birthday also marked the ever-closing possibility of having a biogenetic child. I distinctly remember sobbing in my bed on my 37th birthday when after two years of infertility treatments, I was no closer to a baby. It felt so wrong to be so sad - after all, I was also so grateful to be living! And yet there it was.
And now here I am. Alive. And with a very alive child beside me. And not just any child, but this amazing girl Magpie. Wow.
So. It's my birthday this week.
And for my birthday, I have a request for you.
Would you leave me a comment and help me expand my blog reading?
Will you share with me your favorite blog?
Specifically your favorite infertility or parenting-after-infertility or loss blog. Extra points if it happens to also be from a writer's or psychologist's or MD's/RN's other health care professional's vantage point.
If you can't narrow it down to a single blog, you can cheat and send me two urls. But I really want to know your top picking(s). The blog or two that you can't wait to read when the author posts. The one you wonder where they are when they haven't posted in a bit.
And thanks, as always, for reading and being there. Thanks today for helping me to celebrate : )
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