Meeting the miscarriage wizard

So we met Monday with the NYC reproductive immunologist, aka our miscarriage wizard du jour. And the meeting was, I thought, a little wacky, but I suppose not all-together bad.

The doctor seemed like a smart enough guy, from Australia I think (perhaps England, I always get that wrong). Very nice, VERY chatty. A little bit of overshare with the details on other patients, for example telling us more than I cared to know about someone else's miscarriage that morning and how it had set him behind on his schedule. "You know how that goes," he said knowingly, and um, yup, we do. As a psychologist, I also know how confidentiality goes. So I wanted to say, Zip it!

It felt throughout like the doctor was trying to relate to us simultaneously as peers and as patients, which was a little awkward. And hey, I just want to be your patient, you know?

He also had a tendency to assume major facts and not let us speak. At one point, early on, he said, "I bet I could tell you your whole history" and then proceeded to make several good but incorrect guesses. So he's barreling ahead with his fictional account and I'm saying, "Nope. Actually no. That's not what happened. No Clomid. Nope. No IUI, we went straight to IVF. Um, no, sorry, all the pregnancies weren't chemical, we've had a heartbeat two times" etc., etc. I wanted to say, just listen a little, won't you?

We hit a low point in the consult when he said to me, trying to cheer me up, "You know, you've been pregnant so many times, if you don't want to have children, I think you'll have to go on birth control! Don't you agree?"

And I looked him in the eye and said, "I agree that I'm likely to get pregnant again, but I don't know that I'm likely to have a living child."

And then he said, "Oh, you're right. Maybe not, but pregnancy, definitely."

Um. Yeah.

Throughout, the doctor drew many pictures and made reference to other alternative REs and immunologists (Sher, Sami David, Beer) and overall just seemed to really enjoy the process of talking to us. Or well, at least of talking.

I just wasn't that sold on the whole thing. Funny thing is, my husband Will told me afterward that he found the doctor rather endearing. Will seemed drawn into the doctor's zaniness, but meanwhile, I was moving from skepticism to downright irritation.

I noticed my increasing wariness and had to remind myself, that's not really why we were there. We weren't looking for a good primary care clinician or someone to build a strong relationship with.

We were there because this was a doctor who was willing to do testing no one else will do and so of course he's going to be a little iconoclastic. A tad eccentric. A little fringe, perhaps. That's sort of what we signed on for, isn't it? I told myself that perhaps I had gotten too used to the straight-up academic professional types. So what if the appointment seemed somewhat haphazard, slightly sloppy, a little bit like a clinical free-for-all?

So anyway, that's kind of the what's what about the appointment itself.

Here is a list of what the doctor ended up ordering:

Serum IgA
Serum Creatinine
Protein Z
PT/aPTT/Platelets
Fasting Insulin and Glucose
DHEAS
Mycoplasma/Ureaplasma
Antiphospholipid Antibodies
Antinuclear Antibodies
Anti-DNA/Histone Antibodies
Anti-thyroid Antibodies
Reproductive Immunophenotype
Lupus Anticoagulant
Anti-Sperm Antibodies
Antiovarian Antibodies
HLA-DQ Alpha Antigen
Leukocytes
TH1:TH2 Cytokine Ratio
NK Killing Assay

He also wants us to send the tissue slides from our second miscarriage to a placental pathologist for review. This is the miscarriage in which gross pathology was done but no cytogenetics were run (because the lab mistakenly discarded the sample). He said we may be able to determine if it was likely chromosomal this way.

And he had some blood and bacterial culture tests for Will as well, which I always like, because hey, isn't Will half of the equation here?!

As we were walking out the door, the doctor said, "Don't worry! Even if everything comes back normal, I'll find something to give you anyway!"

I'm sure that was supposed to be reassuring, but given the amount of money involved (not to mention blood...and time...and hope), somehow it wasn't. I mean, if you're going to give something to me anyway, couldn't we just skip all this expensive testing?

So we shall see. Will is much more open to this immunological stuff and to this doctor than I am, which is an amusing turn of events, given his initial hesitance. Time will tell. Results should be back in about three weeks. In the meantime, Will and I will continue to enjoy our "normal" lives, lavishing love and affection on our adorable Moxie.

Mo