Friday, July 9, 2010

Hot flashes? Or just hot?

I'm a little more than a week into the depot-lupron adventure and am feeling fairly ok so far (Will hasn't moved out, so I'll take that as a good sign!). The biggest side effect thus far seems to be blinding headaches. And annoyingly, I started a full flow on Weds. Sigh. I am feeling very flushed, but it is difficult to tell if that is related to the medication or is just a result of the fact that there has been a record-breaking heatwave this week. My biggest fear has been the mood effects and although I've been a bit cranky, I'm not feeling much depressive effects. I am trying to hit the gym frequently to counteract anything that might crop up on that front. Aerobic exercise does a mind and body good.

Two pregnancy announcements of friends sent me briefly reeling this week. It is frustrating that I sometimes can't separate my own situation better from those of others. I strive to be happy for others' joys, even as I struggle to accept our losses and continue hope for the future. But sometimes it seems that everyone, EVERYONE is getting pregnant, having more than one child even, while we are still waiting, and somehow the longer we wait, the less likely it seems we could ever have a good outcome...although of course I also know that this is faulty reasoning, that things are in process right now, we've got the blasts on ice and will hopefully get some good news soon.

So hanging in there. Letting some time pass. Waiting. And hoping.


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  1. I am glad that DL hasn't been too bad so far. I agree that endorphins do a body good!

    I can definitely relate to what you wrote about striving to be happy for others. I am going through something similar with my BIL and SIL and their pregnancy. A little time has softened the news a bit, and I hope that the same is true for you.

  2. Hoping right there with you. So glad the DL isn't doing worse to you than a little bit of crankiness- and I think you're entitled to a bit of that, anyway. Let's get together sometime soon !

  3. Good luck with the Lupron. Those headaches are a nightmare!!! And, I completely understand your hot flashes. They suck too! Take it easy and get some rest.

  4. Hey Mo, I recognize I am writing this from a position of pregnancy but as a turn for the books all I have heard since Mrs IB got pregnant is infertility stories - 3 of them, (inc a few with some pretty bad MC stories). All doing IVF and I can seriously guess others I think are heading down that path. Why do I write this? Just to try to even out a tough week for you.... when was the last time you heard "OMG did you hear that Jane has started IVF... I am so excited for them...." Its out there, its just a very quiet in what is a world that isn't as fertile as you think. I ummed about writing this. I feel very awkward writing this but hope it gives you some perspective.

  5. Hi Mo-- I did DL for three months last summer, and I can totally relate... Is it DL? Is it the heat? Is it just me being mad that I am on DL, waiting longer, waiting, waiting?! I felt like it got worse as the months wore on-- and I did have nightsweats, hot flashes, a nice round donut around my middle (8 pounds gained in the end-- which may or may not have been DL, who knows), dryness in every place that should not have been dry (or so it seemed), and some serious crankiness. That said: It went fast, faster than I expected. It also worked. My third frozen cycle was a +.... and this third frozen came 6 months after I took my last DL shot. (I had to do another regular IVF cycle, no transfer b/c I always overstim, in between, to get more eggs. And my dr made me wait two months after DL before I could even start that IVF cycle. I was seriously grouchy about this.) Just wanted to give you a good story, in case you need one. I am glad you only have 2 months of this (my CCRM consult recommended the same, although I had not made the jump to them yet). Hopefully it will work, it will go fast, and your next cycle will be here before you know it! Be good to yourself and to Will, and do whatever you have to do to get through the never-ending stream of baby announcements. Hang in there.

  6. Oh those headaches are killer.

    It is so normal to feel happy for friends and also sad that it isn't you right now. My best friend and I still talk about how I cried when she told me she was pregnant and how she felt sad seeing my twins knowing she could not have another of her own.

  7. With all the heat you East Coasters have been having - it is like you are living in a city where DL is put in the water. Everyone's hot, and cranky too!

    Hang in there - you are doing great so far. And those pregnancy announcements are a kick in the gut, that's normal. Reasoning aside, it is normal feeling. You are CBT, aren't you? :)

  8. I know exactly where you're coming from on the pregnancy odds - in my support group, I twice ended up in groups of three where I LOOKED like the one most likely to succeed but ended up being left behind - the third time, I got left behind by 8 people! It doesn't make any sense that others are "stealing" one's chances at motherhood, but it's very hard to remember that when those announcements come along.

  9. It. All. Takes. So. Damned. Long! I hope the break in the heat helped your noggin', and I'm keeping my fingers crossed for smooth sailing ahead!


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