Thursday, January 30, 2014

So did the OB-GYN ask this infertile 42yo about birth control?

Today was my first annual visit since having my daughter, and I'd been wondering. Would my doctor ask the standard (dreaded by me) question, "So are you taking birth control?" I hate this question. I cringe at the thought of the question. First, it assumes wrongly that I would ever want to prevent another pregnancy. Are you crazy? Prevent a FREE pregnancy without injections, and loans, and pain? Ha ha ha ha! And second, it presumes that I could ever get pregnant without massive help (plus incredible luck), which feels like the questioner obviously missed my whole medical reproductive history somewhere.

So I was curious. I know that it's a standard question. Part of the script for the annual visit. Would she ask?


Smart woman. Awesome woman.

She DID ask all about my daughter Magpie. All about my work. My life. She DID ask to see pictures and watched some iphone video of my beautiful girl with me.

She had read my test results from my yearly internal medicine visit in October...and cited all of the bloodwork results from memory. (Sharp lady!)

She DID ask about my glucose control and health in general. (Excellent clinician!)

She DID ask open-endedly about our plans and thoughts about having another Magpie. (Excellent human being!)

She recommended I see a cardiologist and get a holter monitor because I've been having an arrhythmia.

She recommended I get a diagnostic mammogram and ultrasound soon because she felt a lump in my right breast.

She recommended I see an endocrinologist because despite the significant weight loss, my glucose is still not right.

And so I will do all of these things.

Toward the end of the visit, we had a little chat about the three frozen embryos, and about the hell of depot lupron and IVIG, during which she expressed optimism for another baby for us until I reminded her that my beautiful girl is the result of 110 eggs retrieved across the years (I know she is well aware of the 6 pregnancy losses, so I didn't bring it up).

We ended the appointment with me thanking my OBGYN for helping get my daughter here safely and my OBGYN saying, "She really IS a miracle."

That she is. And I'm the luckiest woman in the world.


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  1. HI Mo, It is great that you have such a wonderful doctor and I hope these issues turn out to be minor.
    I hope with all I have that one of those embryos becomes your next child.

  2. My OB actually did ask...and made a little comment about how we could all laugh afterwards but she had to ask. But actually I do think it's valid Q to us infertiles in our 40s. We still use b/c despite taking 6 years and finally CCRM normals to get our babies b/c I figure knowing my luck I'll get pg on my own at this age, then worry the whole time about it likely being abnormal (which it would). I wouldn't want to be put in a position to have to decide whether to terminate an abnormal pg. So b/c it is.

  3. oh my gosh, I love your doctor, and that last line made me all teary!

    She is a miracle - 110 eggs, 1 baby = SUPER miracle.

    Now, please keep us updated on the other important bits - lump, heart, etc.

  4. Anonymous - you make a VERY good point.

  5. I envy you your OB. I haven't been to see mine in awhile (read: way too long) because I just don't want to go over all this crap again. Tho, perhaps if I went more regularly, she wouldn't. Eh, who knows. Anyway, hope the follow-up on the rest of the stuff is all well.

  6. Glad you found someone you can work with.

    Curious about the lump but are you as unconcerned as you seem?

  7. I am glad that you have a compassionate human being as your primary care provider, and I hope that the other stuff (high fasting glucose, heart arrythmea) sort themselves out and turn out to be nothing. She is a miracle, but just because she is doesn't mean that there *couldn't* be another miracle, slim though the chance might be. Holding hope for more wonderful things in 2014.

  8. I'll be thinking of you. I hope your mammogram goes smoothly. I bet it is a weight on your shoulders right now which you don't need.

    I had a mammogram for a lump the dr. *thought* found too. Getting that done quickly and having an answer just as fast was a blessing. I'm hoping you get your test quickly.

    I also hope everything goes well with your other appointments.

    It's so nice that you have a doctor that cares and does their job well.

  9. One of my long time IF pals IRL became an urban myth recently. She & her hubby tried to conceive for 7 years before they had a singleton and then twins through ICSI. Had been told that there was no way they were getting pregnant without ICSI and no one even bothered having the contraception chat with them. About 9 months ago, 11 years after they started trying, I got a message to say that she was pregnant, by accident. A month later, I got a three word message following the 12 week scan: "It's twins. Again!". She now has 5 kids under 5 years old and can't quite believe any of it. All that said, I know all too well that one success does not necessarily mean it's all plain sailing from here. But, like you, I feel immensely grateful for the one little miracle I have.

  10. It’s good to hear that you enjoyed your OB’s company and work. In my opinion, it’s always an advantage to have a specialist that you can trust and can guide you all through the process. How’s your appointments with your cardiologist and the others, btw? I hope you only heard good news.



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