Thursday, January 23, 2014

What passes for pillow talk at Mo and Will's


[Lying side by side, moments before lights-out. Ah, sleep, glorious sleep!]

Mo: I was thinking today about the three frozen embryos.

Will: They've been on my mind too.

Mo: Thoughts?

Will: I guess we need to transfer them.

Mo: Yeah. I agree.

Will:  It won't work, though.

Mo: I know. But still. I suppose it's possible it could.

Will: Yeah.

Mo: At least then we'd know for sure.

Will: Yeah.

[.....silence for awhile.....]

Mo: Any thoughts on when?

Will: I guess soon?

Mo: I guess.....[Sigh.] I'll call Colorado in the next week and schedule the one day work up. From what I've read in blogland, we both have to go out there to get tested for STDs, among other things before an FET.

Will: What? That's crazy! Why do I have to do anything?

Mo: I guess you could transmit something to me if you had it? I dunno.

Will: [snort]

Mo: Goodnight. Love you.

Will: Love you too.

[Mo lies awake dreading the depot lupron and the $3,000 IVIG infusion she'll likely get prior to the transfer that she doesn't even believe in....all for three embryos that probably have almost no chance of implanting....Except that there is that unfathomable but very real little girl sleeping peacefully in the next room.....so maybe...just maybe.....]




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34 comments:

  1. I just teared up a little. Cheers to maybe - and her feet are precious.

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  2. I love that you've been able to post more regularly! And I hope and pray that at least one of those embryos becomes Magpie's brother/sister.

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  3. How could you not do it? I'm a glass half-empty kind of gal and I still wouldn't hesitate for a second. You know, because the opinion of a random internet stranger should always be your guide :)

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  4. That conversation sounds so familiar! Except it was just 1 embryo. And now she is playing in her excersaucer while her big sister naps! You just don't know! And like the marines...Leave no one behind! Lol!

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  5. I don't know why I didn't know that you had 3 more frozen embryos!!! Are they normal? Then of course you do have a chance, a HUGE chance! With IVIG of course! Yay! How exciting!

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  6. I loved this post!!!

    And who knows, hey? Go for it!

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  7. I am also glad to 'hear' your cyber voice with more frequency-- will hold good thoughts for the FET; I guess you'll do that after your trip to the Middle East? I just know what a mind f*@! travel is while pregnant, and I wouldn't wish that on you.

    Sending love, light and joy for all of the good things that seem to be afoot over there.

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  8. Oh I am so excited! I really really really hope it works.
    At my ODWU they said the STD testing is to protect them from being accused of transmitting an STD to the embryo through their storage facility. You have to prove that you are clear before collection and before FET.

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  9. first, its so great to see all of these blog updates from you! thanks for keeping your readers updated!

    second, i am very excited to know you may decide to do another transfer. if you are willing to try- there is hope to be had. remember, how you feel about it (futile, costly, dread of IVIG...) has no bearing on the biological force in those embryos... look at your beautiful daughter!

    third, OMG! we had to do it too, all CCRM'ers have to, get the friggin' re-work up, the extra cost and time... if nothing else, going thru those motions get you in the mindset again (haha, joy of joys...).

    glad to see you actively posting again.

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  10. Interesting pillow talk! The part about Will asking what he has got to do with it made me laugh! Hope you go ahead with it

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  11. I was anonymous a little earlier...
    Re the std testing I think it was to keep you from accusing them of transmitting an std to you either via the stored embryo or during the procedure.
    Anyway....
    Good luck!

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  12. Yeah, of course you should do it.

    But do you need to put yourself through IVIG? Just wondering, I guess, how much magic you think that stuff has....

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  13. That post just turned me into a blubbering idiot. "Unfathomable but very real little girl sleeping peacefully in the next room.....so maybe...just maybe.....] Sob, snort, sniff! These are the most moving words I've read in ages. Best of luck to you guys!
    Kathy

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  14. We felt the same way, and even though it didn't work I don't regret it. For the chance of another sweet little one like your Magpie I'd say it's worth it. :) Fingers crossed for you.

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  15. I think any of us that have been through what we have would feel the same way...but as you said, it is possible. He's fast asleep in his crib down the hall ;)

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  16. "Maybe, just maybe," sounds like a perfect reason to give it a go!

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  17. I love pillow talk. Ours is so similar but different. The rawness is there, but the topic differs. You're talking embryos, we're talking broken kids from foster care. It's funny (and sad) how normal difficult conversations are taken on with such light hearts. They have to be.

    Big hugs.

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  18. I found your blog when my husband and I were having trouble conceiving. You have me such hope. I now have an eleven month old (as of today!) little girl we call LadyBug. I don't think I've ever commented before that I can remember anyways, but I have so enjoyed you posting again. I hope and pray that it works. And God forbid it doesn't, I hope and pray that trying gives you peace of mind. I now have a new life philosophy that I heard about somewhere - I think the person called it "regret management" ;-D hehe. Go for it mama!

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  19. Tingles up the spine! Good luck! I'm so glad that you are posting again.

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  20. My little one is 15 months, but I'm still nursing. My doc says we need to be weaned for three months before FET....does yours say the same?

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  21. Little Miss Maybe. Sweet! Just a thought. Isn't pregnancy supposed to be good for endo? Maybe a lap to check on it would be worth it to to avoid the depot lupron. xo

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  22. Yeah, you have to do it don't you and all the awful stuff that goes with it? I would, just in case. Something worked once didn't it, you just never know. Rooting for you all the way and hoping magpie becomes a big sister in 2014!

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  23. Tracie - yes, I believe colorado feels the same. I weaned at the end of oct...

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  24. dora - interesting thought. as awful as a lap is, i think it's easier than the depot lupron... hmmm....

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  25. Hi Mo!
    Would love to hear your thoughts on a proven surrogate. I know there are so many unknowns and the cost is astronomical. But Giuliana Rancic's story was so heartwarming. I'm sure you've discussed and considered this already. Seem to remember they also went to a clinic in Colorado.

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  26. If it's easier, Will can have blood drawn and shipped to them and doesn't have to travel for the ODWU. You can also do the transfer by yourself if that will be easier than traveling with Magpie. I did it with this FET. I tried to stay in bed as much as possible, but I was definitely up and around a lot more than I was with Miss A's transfer, and yet, amazingly, this one still dug in. I know it's hard to have hope, but there are lots of us who are hoping for you!

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  27. ooh, well you just never know. As pessimistic as I am for myself I tend to be OVERLY optimistic for others :) DO IT! I am happy for you guys, seriously soo happy!

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  28. Exciting pillow talk! :-) Would be great for Magpie to have a sibling and I also hear your understandable pause as you recall what it took last time. Very cool you have some good embryos ready to go though...

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  29. Katerina - good question. I think that unless a friend were to offer, it is out of range for us financially, especially now that we have Magpie to think about. Also...I DID carry Magpie successfully. Not without a lot of drama and suspense, but she's here. So don't think I really qualify as someone who needs a surrogate at this point. And it WAS a high point of my life to have her inside of me and feel her kick and jab at me. Really truly was. What a gift. So if we were to have a sibling, it would be so amazing to get to experience that again.

    Mo

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  30. Rebecca - Innnntteeerresssting. I'll keep that information in case it becomes important. I would strongly prefer Will to be present (even if HE'S not that into it) : ) But good to know it's an option if we need it. So happy for you you have your second one on the way!

    Mo

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  31. This makes me very happy. Choose Hope Mo and Will.

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