I'm still technically pregnant. Walking around in bit of a sad haze. I think the reality has mostly sunk in, although my body hasn't gotten the message. No bleeding, still slightly queasy with sore boobs. Pee stick still darkening but not in any dramatically different, hope-inspiring way.
I'm frustrated to say that I'm still waiting on my OB's office to call and discuss the findings with me. Thank God I have other avenues to access my blood test results, because can you imagine the state I'd be in if I were still waiting two days later to hear the numbers from the test drawn Monday morning?! And having no idea it is bad news, thinking that no news must mean all is well? It's Wednesday, people!
I'm not in the mood to go chase them down to hear the bad news, and I've been on this merry-go-round ride enough times previously to know that even if there were some infinitesimal chance of a turn around, there's nothing else I can do to try to make it happen. I'm taking my prenatal, I'm taking extra folic acid, I'm on lovenox (still, begrudgingly), I'm taking prednisone, I even plunked down major cash for the IVIG. The outcome is completely out of my hands.
I'm guessing that when the OB's office gets around to calling, I will be told to come in for another beta draw to receive the final nail in this pregnancy coffin.
I'm trying to view this whole surprise pregnancy as a gift as well as a "warm up" to our next FET, but at this moment I just feel tired and worn out and sad.
Thanks for waiting with me. Reading your thoughts and supportive words helps.
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