Saturday, October 3, 2015

Weekend away

I left Thursday to spend a long weekend out of state visiting my sister and helping her with her new baby boy.

I've been taking one of the overnight feedings to give this new family a break, and really enjoying getting to spend time with my new nephew and my sister and her husband. I thought it might be excruciating to be around my sister's baby, given our state of pregnancy limbo, but it's ok. I'm able to put my own situation out of my mind and focus on her and her new babe.

Spending time with them, though, it is remarkable to me how much easier he is to care for than Magpie was at this age, and it has been brought home to me how severe her feeding issues and my breastfeeding difficulties were. This little guy is three weeks old and a champ at the breast already. My sister is dealing with oversupply, which isn't entirely fun, but she can provide an entire feeding in 15 minutes, or pump several ounces in that amount of time on a regular (not hospital pump). I am impressed! Contrast that to me taking 40 minutes to pump with a Medela Symphony, and Magpie taking another 40 minutes to an hour to eat, and wow, I don't know how we did it. I'm so glad my sister has had an easier time of it. It's lovely to see her just getting to enjoy parenting, even this early on. She is so happy, which is just awesome.

Her new little guy is so cute, and it's adorable to see him and my sister together. It's also nice to feel like I know what I'm doing around a baby. I'm sending my sister and her husband out for a lunch alone today (their first time alone since giving birth). And I'll be making dinner for everyone tonight. It's nice to be here and to be useful.

In the meantime, I'm mostly trying not to think about my own limbo pregnancy. I was fearful on the flight here, as I was cramping quite a bit, and worried I was going to miscarry while on this visit with my sister, which would be awful on multiple levels. As soon as we landed, the cramping subsided and hasn't returned. There's been no spotting. So I'm not dwelling on it. We will see what we see on the ultrasound on Monday. I remain not very hopeful, but I'm certainly open to being proven wrong!

Mo

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13 comments:

  1. I don't know many people who have the fortitude to spend such an emotionally challenging time during their own pregnancy around a new baby. It's really loving of you. Here's to hoping for joyous news on Monday. ❤️

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  2. Congrats on your new nephew! So glad you are able to spend time with them and help and feel useful. Thinking of you on Monday!

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  3. how amazing to be able to spend these days with your sister, helping her out so much! you are a very good sister, mo. glad you were able to love on your nephew, too. there must have been some level of difficulty being around a newborn? I don't know... sometimes I have a hard time even now! sometimes it doesn't bother me anymore.

    anyway, you have done such a great job waiting for this (probably) conclusive scan on Monday. I totally understand the last part of your update, about not being hopeful... I think I was doubtful at each any every scan, waiting to be proven wrong, but ready for the worst. there is a picture of me looking at my living son for the first time, after the cesarean, and that is the look- doubtful, even with my son, alive, right in front of my face. its very hard to shake that naturally protective outlook.

    not that it matters whatsoever, I do think that there is a good chance that things have caught up, but I also would be prepping for bad news. you're gonna be OK, mo, no matter what happens.

    enjoy the weekend!

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  4. That all sounds delightful, so glad you are able to help (and enjoy helping) your sister and get to know your new nephew. They are lucky to have each you, and you them too.

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  5. What a lovely, peaceful post this is! I think this visit was just the medicine you needed to calm your nerves and gain perspective. I can tell that you have brought approval and admiration for your sister's new role that no doubt has meant the world to her. What a great sis and auntie you are! The potential new life within you will go to term, or not, for reasons nobody will ever be able to fully understand. Meanwhile, you have shared life-space with that tiny flicker of hope for these weeks, and that's not nothing. I am crossing everything for you this next week.

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  6. So glad you got some time away for a visit! Very much rooting for you and this pregnancy.

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  7. What a smart plan going to visit your sister! Getting outside your head and spending time with her and your new nephew must have been great. Nothing like a newborn to bring back memories of your own newborn, I would have been in the same boat-- my son never BF I pumped and my supply sucked as well. Thinking of you and sending you good thoughts on Monday.

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  8. This makes me so happy! What a great outcome for your sister!!

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  9. Huge congrats to your sister! And you are so sweet to come give her a break like that, especially considering everything going on! It sounds though like you are hanging in there as best you can and I admire you for that so much!

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  10. I'm glad you were able to get some time away. Know that there are many people hoping and praying for you tomorrow.

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  11. Good luck tomorrow. Keeping you guys in my thoughts.

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  12. Good luck for today, Mo! Hoping beyond hope for you. Faye x

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  13. Wish you all the best forever! This is really a good plan for sending your sis for lunch. I was looking for IVF on the internet and I found your blog. With your posts I come to know that you are very strong woman.

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