We are down to double digits in this pregnancy...96 days left until my due date, give or take a couple of weeks!
Wow.
Cue me dumbfounded.
I still don't think I have completely accepted that Will and I are even pregnant. It still feels surreal that it is finally happening after so many false starts, after so long in the making.
And on the other hand, some aspects of pregnancy have begun to feel "normal." Normal to have a basketball -sized stomach, normal to have people comment about my belly, normal to have swelling and clumsiness, normal (and wonderful) to feel funny bumps and thumps and flutters in my abdomen at all hours of the day and night.
The idea that this expanding abdomen could signal that we are a few months away from actually having a child? A child who we will parent for the next couple of decades? Well, that definitely hasn't sunk in. It is beginning to sink in that anything growing this big will have to come out somehow...and thusly we are beginning to prepare for a birth. But that birth isn't so connected yet to what comes afterward...the family we have waited for, have wanted for so long.
So here we are. And one day keeps leading to the next. This pregnancy seemingly cooking along, pretty much of its own accord. So strange after so so many interventions could not get a pregnancy going, could not keep it going, that now, it seems this pregnancy is unfolding....dare I say almost naturally?
We feel so so lucky, so blessed. One day at a time, edging ever closer.
Oh my goodness.
Mo
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I'm so happy that you are settling into "normal". You deserve as much normal as you can get after the road you have traveled. Baby girl will be here before you know it. I'm so very happy for you.
ReplyDeleteIt's hard to trust your body when it takes such Herculean efforts to get that baby. I thought that emptiness brought about by infertility would dissipate as soon as I had a baby, and for the first year I was distracted from it but there's still a little remnant of sadness. Try to celebrate the little life you've made together. That is going to be one lucky baby to have parents with such tenacity and determination.
ReplyDeleteStill chokes me up that this is happening for you guys! And I don't think you can ever possibly be prepared. It's overwhelming at times, just watching it unfold - in a very good way though!!!
ReplyDeleteDid I tell you that when I was still teaching and very pregnant I had a ritual of coming home, eating dinner, taking a hot shower, and hanging out on the couch with
a heating pad behind my back and my feet elevated? Sending you restful thoughts. :)
I've been watching that ticker on the right side of your blog, and just feeling anxious to see it break the 100 (like they say in golf). And now you're there! That's just amazing!
ReplyDeleteI guess it is time to prepare for an actual child. It seems there is one coming.
So very very exciting! I think it's normal to not have it all sink in until that little magpie arrives. So glad things continue to go smoothly!
ReplyDeleteYou are going to make me cry, Mo. You deserve this so much. It is really happening! Enjoy! Enjoy! Enjoy!
ReplyDeleteHuge smile and a few tears in my eyes reading this. So happy for you! xoxo
ReplyDeleteThis is so so wonderful. I hope the 96 days continue to be smooth sailing.
ReplyDeleteWhat everyone else said above!
ReplyDeleteAnd I cannot remember if I've posted this before, here, so please forgive me if I repeat myself but ... at 38w6d (!) I had an external version (which worked and, except for leaving me exhausted, was uneventful). Long story short, there was a tiny "blip" on the monitor pre-procedure and "they" didn't want (briefly, obviously they later decided it was OK) to proceed and gave me the option of having a c-section that day or of scheduling one for the following week (bearing in mind that this was an IVF pregnancy so there were zero questions about how far along I was). And my (gut, not expressed) reaction to the "c-section today" offer was -- "WHAT???!!! I am not ready to have a baby!!!" Which -- um, hello? (But really, I wasn't. Not that my readiness matters, but he did wait another 13 days to emerge).
All of which is just to say that I totally get the difficulties involved in jumping from, "Oh, haha, here I am pregnant" to "We're going to have a baby."
Here's to your having another 96 days to prepare. As my own story illustrates, I sure needed the full 40 weeks...
So glad that you're starting to settle into the whole pregnant body thing (can we get a belly shot, pretty please with cherries on top?), and even if you go full term, you might not be ready for the repercussions of a life time of parenthood-- I know I was a little overwhelmed! So glad to see another happy update!
ReplyDeleteSo glad that things continue to progress smoothly and normally. I so WISH I was as far along as you are and over the scarier parts that are right now before me. It is SO much harder being where I am in this pregnancy than I thought it would be. Trying so hard to NOT give in to the panic I otherwise almost constantly feel.
ReplyDeleteLess than 100. Bravo!
Yay!
ReplyDeleteWhat a relief some normal must be. 95 days...makes me smile :)
ReplyDeletehoping for a very un-eventful less than 100 days!!!
ReplyDeleteI have been following your blog for awhile and am just so incredibly happy for you!
ReplyDeleteIt's been a little while since I've checked in here, so first of all about your pregnancy...CONGRATS!!!
ReplyDeleteSo happy for you and your husband, what a wonderful milestone-double digits left to go!
Praying for the rest of your pregnancy to be happy and healthy and for a happy, healthy baby girl!
:o) Makes me smile to read this. :o)
ReplyDeleteI remember feeling just like you do right now when I was pregnant with my son. It was such a sureal feeling. Try to enjoy and embrace this - you and Will are so deserving of it! I can't wait to hear all about your birth plans and I'm anxiously awaiting another belly shot ;)
ReplyDeleteHopefully its smooth sailing here on out - although trust me, the 3rd trimester is no joy ride, physically. Are you going to register/have a baby shower, or are you afraid to jinx things? I forget if that's even on the table, culturally (i.e. are you Jewish?)
ReplyDeleteYay for double digits! I'm clumsy enough to begin with, having a basketball sized stomach would not be an easy feat to get used to :)
ReplyDelete:-)
ReplyDeleteFor the next couple of decades? You will parent her for the rest of your lives! :-)
ReplyDeleteAnonymous...you know what I mean..."actively" parent. Hopefully she will grow up at some point and while still parenting, it won't be of the same intensity : )
ReplyDelete