Monday, October 3, 2011

Talk with the Schoolster



Will and I figured we should let our dear doctor in Denver in our little plan to use an egg donor, so we had a phone regroup appointment with him several days ago.

The last time we talked to him (after our sixth miscarriage), he'd mentioned the possibility of using a gestational carrier as well as the possibility of us trying again with our frozen embryos. No mention was made of the possibility of using an egg donor (which is amazing, because it was the first thing he brought up when we had our first phone consult with him back in 2009).

I was a little worried that he would not support our idea, that he would be upset since we have the five chromosomally normal embryos tucked away in his lab freezer. I was prepared to have to convince him why this was a good idea.

My argument was going to be that we really don't know what is going wrong, whether there is something inherently wrong with my body that prevents me from carrying a pregnancy to term or whether there is something inherently wrong with our embryos that prevent them from making a take-home baby. And that approaching this scientifically, we thought that if we used donor egg embryos, we'd be able answer this question once and for all. If we use a surrogate, we still won't know whether I can carry a baby or not, which given its importance to me seems a critical question to answer.

I was all geared up to go and gave him my one sentence preamble when he said simply,

"I think that's a good idea."

Huh?

Ok, then.

It took a moment for me to recover on my end (see what happens when you engage in mind reading and fortune telling?), but he was fine with our decision. He was also totally on board that we're using an agency, said we're way ahead of the game that we have a donor selected, was positive about her age (23), and said she would very likely pass their screening.

Ok, then!

Not sure why I thought that would be such an uphill battle. Piece of cake.

Now if we can just get me and this donor approved to go before I turn 50 and end up pregnant on a magazine cover, all will be well.

Mo


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21 comments:

  1. Well done! You are on your way...

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  2. Wow!! He is a man of many words isn't he?! I am so excited for you that you are moving forward. And wow...a donor selected already?! Way to go!

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  3. Lisa - already? We've been mulling donor egg and looking at profiles since April!

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  4. this is amazing- what a wonderful feeling to know that you and your RE are on the same page. He sounds like an amazing RE. Excited for you to get started with this process. will you do DE-IVF in CO or use a local clinic?
    Thank you as always for all of your support, it means the world to me.

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  5. cgd, We're going to Colorado. Our local clinic, 2nd best in U.S., has a DE success rate of 58.4%. Colorado has a success rate of 70.6%. The numbers don't even seem close to us, and given my history, we need every bit of the odds tipped in our favor.

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  6. Yippee, yippee, yippee!

    You have a plan that you are in the process of executing, that has a high success rate for take home baby.

    Yippee, yippee, yippee!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Wonderful news!!! So exciting. I checked back in tonight and was thrilled to see you're writing again and be able to catch up with your "story." I'm very, very happy for you both.
    I'd also like to extend my deepest sympathies over the loss of Will's father.

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  8. So glad things went well with the doc, and hoping that this gives you the take-home baby you've been waiting for!

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  9. Mo, I am so excited with your decision to pursue
    donor eggs! I'm glad to hear Dr S was on board
    with your decision & you didn't have to "present"
    your case to him. I hope you don't have to wait
    too long to get this cycle going. You have certainly
    waited long enough! Best of luck to you on this cycle!

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  10. I have a really good feeling about this new plan. I think donor eggs are the ticket!

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  11. Inside I'm doing cartwheels!!! Can't wait to hear what happens next. :D

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  12. Glad Dr. S left you pleasantly surprised. And you answered my question about where all this is going down. (Surprised your excellent home clinic would have such relatively low rates... I wonder what's going on there...) I am SO excited for you moving forward!

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  13. He is a funny (funny peculiar, not funny ha-ha) man, isn't he? I've always liked him and found him supportive of whatever we wanted to try, but honest and blunt when we needed it. Glad is is on board with your plan! I'm excited for you!

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  14. So happy for you! Can't wait to follow along!

    Is your donor local or will you need to fly her in?

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  15. We're flying her in...on a jet plane... : )

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  16. I'm rooting so hard for you guys! I so hope everything goes smooth like buttah from here on out.

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  17. I adore this place, yea though I have never been a patient. What a wonderful place to settle in for the DE ride.

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  18. Oh Mo... I am always inspired and lifted by your courage and determination. I am so proud to 'know' you through your blog - and I admire the way you have made your decision - wishing you and Will much luck for your 2012 baby. xx

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  19. oh clare, thanks! that's so nice - I don't really see myself that way at all! Thanks for still reading : )

    Mo

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  20. Dear Mo & Will,

    So happy to read that you have come to a decision on the next step to persue, and that the Schoolster is supportive of your plan. May this cycle not only bring the answers you seek, but make you the parents of a child to raise here on Earth. I admire your courage.

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