Tuesday, March 8, 2016

Donor egg update - ups and downs

We've been moving forward toward our donor egg cycle at what feels like a snail's pace.

We found a donor we really liked, and who looks a lot like me at one of the frozen egg banks. We were matched with her and set to get a cohort of 11 eggs.

We passed through the gauntlet of testing at a new New York-based clinic (after the Denver clinic only had 4 donors on their list, we kind of gave up on them, sadly).

The new NY clinic nurse called me and we spoke about my complicated history for almost an hour. Everything seemed to be a go.

I started to get excited. We were looking at cycling next month in April.

Then the phone rang. It was the frozen egg bank. They said they had somehow overlooked that this donor's eggs can ship anywhere except for one state - NY. That they hadn't asked her at the time of her donation how many sexual partners she had had in the past year when she donated (New York stipulates that you can't have had more than two sex partners in the past year). That they hadn't asked her age on some specific form, even though her records clearly state her age. Because of New York's crazy requirements that are apparently more onerous than any other state, the match was off.

I thought we had been on the fresh donor match waiting list at the new clinic for several months as well. We'd asked to get on that list as a back up, just in case. Then I found out that no, we weren't on the list. I had failed to send in a picture of myself, and so we would be at the back of the line, but not even added to the line until a picture of me and Will was received. Of course no one had bothered to mention this to us, despite multiple conversations.

I felt so frustrated. We just want to move forward.

Today I spoke to the medical director of the new clinic, who is our doctor. He doesn't usually handle donor cycles, but because he's been someone we've consulted with throughout the years, he agreed to take our case. I told him about what happened with the frozen egg bank, and he commiserated. I told him about what happened with the fresh donor list at his own clinic and he was really upset. While we were on the phone, he wrote a stern email to his team about it. He said he would see what he could do.

Ten minutes later, one of the nurses called and said they have a donor in mind for us. She apparently looks like me and apparently has other similarities. She is currently cycling for another couple, but if she does well and wants to donate again, the nurse said we should strongly consider her.

It's been a week of highs and lows. Of imagining we'll be pregnant again very soon and then despair and now hope. But I don't want to hope too much until something for sure comes through.

So stay tuned....hopefully there will be progress soon... but who knows. It feels completely out of our hands.


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