Hallmark Rejects

Long ago and far away, Will and I used to produce an occasional series called Hallmark Rejects to document the ridiculous, and often darkly humorous, aspects of trying to conceive and the experience of recurrent miscarriage. Because it's not fun to be sad all the time.

We've been on a long hiatus, because, well...for awhile, we lost our ability to laugh about this stuff. But today, today, we were in the mood again.

I can't promise this will keep up with any regularity, but for now at least, here is another installment of the series Hallmark Rejects...after a long not-so-funny absence.

We hope you enjoy.

Mo and Will

Click here to subscribe

Hallmark Rejects: TV series that never made it

Hallmark Rejects is back again, today with a look at infertility-related television show ideas that never made it onto the air.

Our first Hallmark Reject TV idea is inspired by a popular 1990s show that you may vaguely remember.

Populated with muscled hunks and attractive curvaceous women, filled with romantic intrigue and drama, set on the lovely beaches of Southern California...

Our new television series idea is similar in many ways to the hit formula followed by Baywatch, with just a few tweaks, to make it more, shall we say, infertile.

Brought to you by Hallmark Rejects, please enjoy:

In which two people agonize, staring intently at a small white stick, hoping a second line will appear. Most episodes, the line doesn't appear, but on those rare occasions that it does, our intrepid (and neurotic) couple continue to worry, peeing repeatedly and looking again and again in a vain attempt to see the line darken.

It's just like Baywatch, except, well, no beach, the actors are pasty skinned, nonmuscular, the woman is covered in bruises from multiple injections, and most of the episodes take place in a bathroom. There is also very little sex in our show, which is funny, because this couple is desperately trying to have a baby!

Not sure why this didn't take off and become a runaway sensation... Maybe we need a new agent or something?

Mo

Got an idea for Hallmark Rejects? Submissions welcome at moandwill@gmail.com

Click here to subscribe

Hallmark Rejects: the two week wait

Got a friend in the two week wait?

Not sure what to say to convey your excitement, your vicarious nervousness, your unwavering sensitivity to her hope and anxiety? Look no further than the latest Hallmark Reject, back after a long hiatus.

Click here to subscribe

Hallmark Rejects: the infertile egg's perspective

Hallmark reject #8: Misadventures in aneuploidy

An interlude of comic relief, brought to you by Hallmark Rejects: the clothing line

Springtime has meant the shedding of coats around New York City, and specific to me, around the hospital where I work.

And it appears that while *I* have been scarfing down cheeseburgers, a large percentage of the rest of the female population has been...successfully conceiving. You can hide a lot of belly under a winter coat, I tell you.

So, for those of you in the same boat as me, I present the following t-shirt. Everyone else in the elevator except you pregnant? Sense people looking surreptitously at your stomach to see whether maybe you too are in the club?

Well, now you can just unzip your jacket and answer.

All without having to say a word.

Hallmark Reject #9

Hallmark Reject #8

Yup, it's more Hallmark Rejects!

We saw this cartoon in the November 23, 2009 New Yorker, and I figured that the card shopper must be an infertile. I mean, really, just take a look at her pained expression:

So Will and I decided to, um, "improve" the cartoon a bit to suit our fancy.

Here's the new "Mo and Will" version. What do you think?

Sometimes, despite my best intentions, envy creeps in when I hear another's good news. This is most often the case when it seems they just breezed into parenthood or don't have enough gratitude for their good fortune.

Can any of you out there relate?

I wish there were a way to make myself feel some other way. Other people's successes have nothing to do with my own failure.

Seeing this cartoon made me laugh with recognition at a reaction of mine I'm not very proud of.

Thank goodness for humor even in infertility!

Mo