Sundays of grace #23

1. I got to see two blogging women I've come to love this week: Sprogblogger and Dora (plus got to see - and hold! - Baby S. again). Yeah! Pretty awesome that. And still amazing to me that real life relationships have sprung (and hopefully will continue to spring?) from this online world. Wish I hadn't met you here ladies, but since I'm here and you're here. Nice! pretty much sums it up.

2. Weekend at the beach! We are still in the U.S., so it is a bit blustery, but it is great to have no winter coat on! and to go running outside in shorts! and to go fishing! (even if all I caught was a hermit crab). To look out at the blue water and feel the sun on my face. To be side by side with Will. All in all, a pretty darn good couple of days. Yeah, three-day weekend!

3. Ran for an hour outside this weekend - as I mentioned in shorts. I use a GPS watch when I run to track my heartrate and mileage. And gosh darn, if I'm not getting faster, which is cool and motivating for all this gym/weight loss stuff. Will says I'm almost fast enough now that my runner sister in law might be able to slow down enough to let me accompany her and Will on one of their weekend runs (typically, I can only run with her when she's like 6-9 months pregnant. And geesh, isn't that a bit of a bummer on numerous levels.) So, grateful for that too. For feeling strong, for seeing improvements, for having stamina, and health. I'm proud of myself for sticking with the exercise long enough to build strength and endurance. Because the beginning part of exercise is always, always sucky.

Hallmark Reject #9

Mo's shape up plan: week 8: Two steps forward, one step back

OK. So last week was my birthday.

And I celebrated.

Maybe I celebrated a little too much.

Hmmm...

Was hoping that somehow certain eating and exercise behaviors might slip by unnoticed, but, ahem, no.

THE SCALE SEES ALL.

Here's the damage:

Total Exercise: 240 minutes. All running on treadmill.

Diet: Good at the beginning of the week, with a downward trend that somewhat exploded into badness by the end of the week. But my, oh my, was it good.

Items of Clothing Earned: 1 (because the beginning several days of the week, I was good, really!)

Weight Gained: GAINED! This is supposed to say "Weight Lost!" Sadness: 1.6 lbs.

Weight Lost Overall: 9.2 lbs.

Total BodyFat Lost: 5.17 lbs.

Your birthday is SO OVER, girl. Get it in gear!

Mo

Awkward conversations

While on vacation this holiday season on a remote island in the Caribbean, we met a couple as we were waiting for dinner one night. We hit it off and the four of us ended up eating together. Mostly, it was a lot of fun, but then those "pesky questions" people like to ask started to crop up...

Them:
So you're from New York City!

Us:
We are.

[insert much chatter about NYC: shopping, crowds, expense, housing, crowds, shopping, the usual. It's expensive! It's fun! We kind of envy you but really we'd never want to live there, etc.]

Them:
Were you in the city on 9/11?

Us:
[deep inhalation] Yes.

Them:
Wow. That must have been something.

Us:
It was. It was a terrible time.

Them:
Where were you? We mean, exactly? Were you near the World Trade Center?

Us:
We actually find it kind of upsetting to talk about that day.

Them:
Oh! Of course, of course! No problem. Let's talk about something else.

.........

[a few minutes later]

Them:
So how long have you been married?

Us:
Two and a half years.

Them:
And you're in your late thirties?

Us:
Yes.

Them:
So we have to ask...

Us:
[Oh, no. Here it comes.]

Them:
What are your plans for children?

Us:
[Deep inhalation]

Them:
Don't you want them?

Us:
[Thinking: Maybe we can go back to the 9/11 questions?]

Us:
We've been trying.

Them:
Oh. Well, children aren't all they're cracked up to be, anyway.

Mo

Sundays of grace #22

1. Will threw me a birthday dinner! And many people came! Including Sprogblogger! How cool is that! I felt very loved and honored to have my birthday celebrated by a nice cadre of friends + Will and my awesome sister.

2. You guys! Wow - you really came out of the woodwork to delurk! I'm completely humbled. And I have a bunch of new blogs to read. And I just feel so touched that you're out there. Reading. I mean....how very super cool....you know?

3. Hard to top those two, so I won't even try. I read mekate's post on battling urgency (you should really go check it out) and it really helped synthesize a lot of what I am often feeling on the topic - a feeling that can be whipped into a frenzy by something like a 38th birthday and a family emergency that's got all baby making proceedings on indefinite hold. But for today, for this moment, I'm feeling ok. The urgency is in check. I'm feeling centered, and like somehow we'll figure this out, and that it'll happen somehow, somewhen, and most of all, that I'm going to be ok. Sometimes (often?) these are hard feelings to come by. And I am grateful that for just now, I am feeling at peace.

Mo

Come out, come out, wherever you are

I want to let you in on a secret. Even though you don't say anything, even though you sneak around, furtively clicking on the links, I know you've been reading this blog. Even though you never - or rarely - comment, I know that you're there.

That's right, I mean you, Pickering, Canada, and Birmingham, AL, and YOU! Culpeper and Rucksville, VA. Not to mention Lima, Peru; Florissant, MI; Den Haag, South Holland; and Stoughton, WI. I see you, even if you're keeping quiet.

That's ok. I don't take it personally. Actually, it's pretty humbling. More than 100,000 of you have visited this blog in the past 13 months. And whoa, who would ever have thought that would happen when I started writing these little posts? Who thought anyone would be reading this blog, really? I'm thrilled that you've found something of value here.

That said, it has come to my attention that this is a special week - International Blog Delurking Week.

It's also a very special week for another reason: it's my BIRTHDAY this week. At the end of this week, I will turn 38. Birthdays are always a noteworthy occasion, but for me they are extra special. As a cancer survivor, every year I get to be here is a majorly celebratory milestone. As an infertile woman, every year that I creep closer to 40 is also bittersweet because it feels like the window of hope for having my own genetic child is closing.

But whether you slice it as happy and/or sad, it's my birthday this week, and for my birthday I'd like one little thing from you Internetz.

I want you to come out of the shadows and say hi. Give a wave. How did you find this blog? How long have you been reading? Anything else you'd like to say? I'd love to hear it. You can even comment anonymously if that makes you feel better. It'll only take a second, I promise.

Just try it - you might even find that you like it.

And since you've taken the time to log on and read this, I'd like the chance to tell you that I'm so glad you're out there. No joke. I'm really grateful you've been along for the ride. And who knows where the journey will go next?

So, London and Pittsburgh and Rochester and Sunnyvale, not to mention Chapel Hill and Putalia, Punjab; Cambridge and Sydney, New South Wales; Laurel, MD, and Oslo, Norway, thank you so much for reading.

Now, please - pretty please? - leave a comment. Do it for International Blog Delurking Week. Or do it for my birthday. I don't bite, you know.

Mo

Mo's shape up plan: week 7 succeeding into the New Year!

The weight loss has continued. Wasn't sure how it was going, since we've been away from scales and the gym and home cooking for much of the holidays. Plus the crisis situation I've been dealing with is continuing to really impact my emotional health, so my mood is all over the place (this is part of why I haven't been posting. Sorry. I hope to get my equilibrium back soonish). I hate to just keep it vague like that but it's super personal family related stuff. Please, just keep us in your thoughts.

But despite all that has been going on, I checked back in with Mr. Scale this morning, and things are seeming to be on track with the weight loss. Phew! 2010 here I come! As of today, I've lost more than 10 lbs. And that feels....NICE!

Total exercise this week: 220 minutes, all running on treadmill or outside.

Diet: sort of all over the place, good some meals and then not as good others. Hard to tell, honestly, when eating out and not sure what's in a restaurant meal. Trying to make good choices without completely depriving myself. It'll make it much easier to be back at home and making my new "usual" healthy food choices.

Items of clothing earned: Kind of lost count of days, so am starting fresh today. So no clothes for the past two weeks, but looking forward to earning some this week!

Weight lost past two weeks (since last weigh in): 2.8 lbs.

Weight lost overall: 10.8 lbs.

Total body fat lost: 5.23 lbs.

GO MO!!!!!