Monday, December 22, 2008

The consult...a look back, plus a plan

So you saw our questions in the last post. Now we have some answers. Thank you for all of your ideas about what to ask - both those left as comments and those privately emailed. Will and I appreciated all of your thoughts.

The RE's main point was that we shouldn't lose hope. He feels our prognosis is still very good. That we had bad luck with the chromosomal abnormality and miscarriage our first cycle ("That could have happened to anyone"). And that we can't read too much into the failure of cycle #2 because we only cultured three embryos (freezing six others at 2pn stage) and only transferred one.

He still thinks we can succeed with our own eggs (and even said he would not allow us to use a donor at this point if we wanted to, which we don't). Surprisingly, he felt the embryo quality throughout the three cycles has been fairly good. (Could have knocked me over with a feather with that statement. I was like "Really??!")

He continued to say that PGD would do more harm than good and that CGH is still too experimental (he said he thinks that the technology is still years away). He said they don't do micro-dose lupron except in the case of poor responders ("and you're not a poor responder," which was nice to hear). He seemed so-so about assisted hatching (but I think we'll ask for it anyway).

In terms of what's next, he said we should probably do endometrial co-culture and he's changing our protocol, removing lupron, upping the dosages of the meds a bit, and adding Ganrilex and menopur.

We are on the cancellation list to try to get in to do a co-culture biopsy in late January. I'm going to stay on progesterone through Friday to delay my cycle starting (who thought I would ever agree to extra PIO shots?!). If we're able to get the endometrial biopsy done in late Jan, we'll be on to cycle again in late Jan/early Feb.

So it looks like we're on to (gulp) IVF #4.

I can't believe we have to cycle again. But since we do, it feels so so much better to have a plan.

By the way, it is freakin' COLD in NYC today. Like Minnesota cold. Those of you who live in northern climes (Canadians, I am talking to you), I applaud you. I don't know how you do it.

Thank you again for all of your encouragments, stories, suggestions on blogs to read, and medical advice. I never realized how interactive blogging can be. Your thoughts and comments have been an enormous help.

We are past the solstice. There is a bit more light today than yesterday. Hoping for brighter, warmer days ahead.



  1. Dear Mo,
    I was anxiously waiting for you to post. How crazy that you have to go through all this... but i felt you so much more positive throughout your post. How nice that you have a plan and that you were happy with the talk with the RE. Wishing you that all the dates fit nicely together and that you can cycle again very soon to meet your so desired and already loved baby.

  2. I'm so glad you got some questions answered...and I hope the next cycle brings bigger and better things. Hey, out with the old and in with the new--a new year is coming and I so hope it is better than the last.

  3. I'm glad you got some answers, and that you have a plan! Good luck with the next cycle!

    You're right - brighter days are ahead, and a new year's coming up too! Good luck!!

  4. Yes, a plan does make everything seem like it is more under control, doesn't it? I am glad that you and Will got some answers from the Doctor. I'm also glad that he (she?) is optimistic. That is great news to hear going into the new year!

  5. Just sending a shout-out from one of those northern Minnesota girls that brave the bitter cold from about October until June. (Ok, so maybe not that late in the year!)

    So glad to hear that your RE was ready to dive into all your questions. It sounds like he is really ready to charge ahead with you guys. It's great that he leaves options (egg donors) up to you...not pushing his own agenda. That's great!

    Sending *hugs* and warm, tropical thoughts your way.

  6. Hooray for a plan! It is the best way to find hope again. It sounds like a great consult and I love when my I hear my docs are on the same page as other top docs (PGD, CGH, etc).

    The change in protocol sounds great. I have one prefilled syringe of Ganirelix that has your names on it, if you are interested. I can mail it out after the holidays. Let me know - my email link is in my profile.

    Happy Holidays and big hugs!!

  7. Plans are good, Mo.

    And even thought this cycle tanked, there is a lot of positive in this,



  8. I'm glad your questions were answered, and you are on with a new plan. I think for most everyone 2008 was a really hard year, I hope 2009 has a better forecast for you and Will.

    As for being cold in NYC - I feel your pain! Well, I *used* to feel your pain, that's why I moved south. It was a chilly 45 here today! ;)

  9. I'm glad you are feeling better after your appointment. After reading your post, I don't know that I feel any better. It doesn't hurt to get a second opinion. You might even learn something new having another RE look at your results, and you don't necessarily have to go with that 2nd RE. I've been known to get a second, third, fourth, and fifth opinion if necessary. Each doctor will tell you something different. Then you have to do your own research and decide which one to go with.

    I recommend reading the book "Nurturing Yourself Through IVF" by Lynn Daley. She went through 3 IVFs before she got pregnant. One of the things she did to have success was to switch clinics after her second IVF failed.

    It's cold here too. Brrrr!

  10. Mo - I am glad you were able to get some answers and to have a plan. I hope you can enjoy the holidays in lieu of all this crapiness.

  11. Hey there. Have been taking a bit of a break, and just caught up on your news. Here's to longer days ahead, very, very soon.

  12. So glad you heard encouraging things today -- and best of all, there is a clear plan. It stinks to have to cycle again, but I'm hoping this next one is it for you. And thank goodness for brighter days ahead. I'm north of you and freezing my butt off.

  13. In from ICLW and I'm very sorry to see the hard road that you have been down. I hope this IVF works for you (all the way to baby). I really like the analogy about the solstice. It's about time things got a little brighter around here.

  14. It sounds like your doctor is good - I'm glad you got some answers, and some more questions to find the answers to. A plan is a good thing to have.

    (And yeah, it's wicked cold out there. Why did I move here from the desert, again?)

    Here's to longer days, and pretty much for an end to 2008, eh? 2009 is looking better already.

  15. I am sorry this cycle was a bust but am really glad to hear your RE has a plan. Best of luck in the New Year!

  16. I'm glad you got answers that made sense, but even more pleased that your doctor is confident about using your own eggs. I like the sound of the protocal changes. You never know what little tweak will do the trick. I would insist on the assisted hatching; it seems to be a fairly routine procedure for women of a certain mature and wise age, ah-hem (this from the woman more "mature" than you.)

    There's a mystery to all this despite the science (am I allowed to say that to two health care people? :-)) and I have to believe it's going to work in your favor.

  17. it sounds like your RE is hopeful and thinks that things can be better. i like the sound of the change in protocol.

    i think that every cycle teaches us something and makes the next better.

    enjoy the snowy weather...we have another 6 inches expected today :)

  18. A plan, a plan! Being able to move forward with confidence is such a good thing. It helps to generate hope and positivity- two things that are needed when you're in tough times.

    2009 is around the bend, a new year, a new plan and hope renewed.

  19. Mo~
    I am so glad that you have a plan already! That is great news. It sounds like you have a great doctor and I am wishing you guys nothing but the best for your next round of IVF!

  20. Excellent! Plans are good. And hearing from your doctor that you're a good responder and your eggs are fine is even better.

    I'm wishing you the best for the next IVF cycle and will be following along with you here. May 2009 bring you your hearts' desire!

  21. Hang in there, guys. I'm glad you got some good answers and the subsequent good plan...

    Here's to 2009 being a better year for all of us...


  22. Im so glad that you have a plan. It is always nice to have one it makes me feeli like I am doing something. It sounds like the RE answered your questions and that is good.
    New will work for you I just know someday it will. :)

  23. Thank you so much for your kind support recently.

    Here's to starting fresh!

  24. Hope that 2009 brings good tidings for you. All the best for IVF#4!

    ICLW Trippin'!

  25. Wow sounds like you have a good plan for #4 and a nice relationship with your RE.

    Thanks for stopping by my blog and commenting. Without being too specific I live in the general vicinity of Belmar and Manasquan.

    I haven't been outside in a few days! My DH said it was too cold to go to the dog park with Riley, guess it's pretty cold!

  26. Here from ILCW

    Having a plan always feels good.

    And - Thanks from the north! (not Canada..but close)

  27. Mo, so glad to hear this update. Even with extra PIO shots. Ack. It sounds like you had a very good convo with your RE and that there is definitely a plan.

    Personally, I think #4 is going to be a lucky number. ;-)

    If its any consolation, PA is wet and cold and miserably rainy today, too.

  28. A plan's always good, isn't it?

    you sound like me after our first IVF. I relaxed totally after our meeting where we discussed the PLAN!

    And it's hot as hell here in Johannesburg so I'm going CRAZY (hat the heat) :)

    Merry Christmas, hon :)

  29. IVF#4, but a plan. Plans are good.

  30. Over from iclw

    I too am a plan girl. I love me a plan. Anyway, sorry about the failed cycle. I hope the next one is the magic cycle!

  31. Sad to read that your cycle did not go as planned. But glad you have a plan.

    Here from ICLW...No. 87
    The Unfair Struggle

  32. So glad you have a plan that looks optimistic! Best of luck to you.


  33. So sorry things didn't work out this time, but I'm glad you have a plan and it sounds like your RE is really involved - that is so great! Maybe we will cycle together next time. Good luck...

  34. Ugh Mo. I'm so sorry. I was so positive for you. I'm hoping the PIO shots do the trick and everything will work out for the plan.


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