My NYC RE began the scan and at first I thought to myself, Oh, Good! The sac looks larger! This was all I was hoping to see at this reassurance appointment.
But then the RE kept scanning.
And scanning and scanning and scanning.
He said not a single word as he continued.
This has never been a good sign. You know the AIDS project "SILENCE = DEATH"? Well, whenever we've seen the baby lying still on ultrasound, whenever there is bad news, it has always been accompanied by utter prolonged silence.
So my heart starts beating in my chest. I reach up and grab Will's hand. He is sweating. With every second that is passing, I am increasingly certain that it is over. Will tells me later that he felt a lump rising in his throat.
Eventually, the RE speaks, although he is still scanning.
He says that he thinks he can see the fetal pole (!)
He demarcates it with his little pointer things. He says that what he is looking at is soooooo sooooooo small still that it is hard to tell. That sometimes he thinks he is imagining things when it is this early. He says he thinks he can also see a tiny flickering but that everything is really too small to tell for certain just yet. Yolk sac still there, and gestational sac definitely larger (4 days larger than last scan 4 days ago), so growing just fine.
Will and I breathed a huge sigh of relief and both scrambled to pick our own hearts up off the floor.
So it was good news. Good news after prolonged silence. Never had that before.
Progesterone is now 23, estrogen 615. According to the RE, "This pregnancy is on full life support."
The real test, the RE says, will be the next ultrasound. He will be away until next Wednesday, which is his surgery day. But he's going to come in at 7AM that day before scrubbing in just to do our scan (isn't he great?!). He said we should definitely be seeing a heartbeat by then.
Until then, he said, "Just keep doing what you're doing."
To which I replied, "You mean keeping taking estrogen and progesterone in oil and freaking out daily?"
And note to RE: Dude, we love you, but you have got to say something a little sooner. Before both Will and I go into cardiac arrest.
Click here for an interesting guide to hcg and ultrasound milestones in early embryonic development.
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