Tuesday, November 2, 2010

6w2d ultrasound

We went in for the ultrasound today, nervous, nervous, nervous. It is so easy now to imagine a bad outcome because we have had so much practice at these ultrasounds going poorly. We know exactly what it will be like, or we think we do.

My NYC RE began the scan and at first I thought to myself, Oh, Good! The sac looks larger! This was all I was hoping to see at this reassurance appointment.

But then the RE kept scanning.

And scanning and scanning and scanning.

He said not a single word as he continued.

This has never been a good sign. You know the AIDS project "SILENCE = DEATH"? Well, whenever we've seen the baby lying still on ultrasound, whenever there is bad news, it has always been accompanied by utter prolonged silence.

So my heart starts beating in my chest. I reach up and grab Will's hand. He is sweating. With every second that is passing, I am increasingly certain that it is over. Will tells me later that he felt a lump rising in his throat.

Eventually, the RE speaks, although he is still scanning.

He says that he thinks he can see the fetal pole (!)

What?!

He demarcates it with his little pointer things. He says that what he is looking at is soooooo sooooooo small still that it is hard to tell. That sometimes he thinks he is imagining things when it is this early. He says he thinks he can also see a tiny flickering but that everything is really too small to tell for certain just yet. Yolk sac still there, and gestational sac definitely larger (4 days larger than last scan 4 days ago), so growing just fine.




Will and I breathed a huge sigh of relief and both scrambled to pick our own hearts up off the floor.

So it was good news. Good news after prolonged silence. Never had that before.

Progesterone is now 23, estrogen 615. According to the RE, "This pregnancy is on full life support."

The real test, the RE says, will be the next ultrasound. He will be away until next Wednesday, which is his surgery day. But he's going to come in at 7AM that day before scrubbing in just to do our scan (isn't he great?!). He said we should definitely be seeing a heartbeat by then.

Until then, he said, "Just keep doing what you're doing."

To which I replied, "You mean keeping taking estrogen and progesterone in oil and freaking out daily?"

Apparently, yes.

And note to RE: Dude, we love you, but you have got to say something a little sooner. Before both Will and I go into cardiac arrest.

Mo

Click here for an interesting guide to hcg and ultrasound milestones in early embryonic development.

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45 comments:

  1. See? I knew it! Freaking out DOES have magical powers (thank god, all of that energy is not wasted)--

    Sweet Mo, you must have been beside yourselves-- so sorry for the silence so incredibly happy for your good news.

    ONGOING GOOD NEWS
    hot damn,
    exhaling
    and
    sending love
    XOXO
    Kate

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  2. Sounds good! Got my crossables crossed for you.

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  3. You had me frightened for a minut there. Had to quickly scroll to the end of the post. Wonderful news. Everything is crossed for you.

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  4. Oh, man! I was holding my breath reading this. This is why I waited until 7 weeks for my first u/s. Although, I totally understand why you wanted earlier ones. 4 days growth in 4 days is PERFECT! So glad your RE is coming in early next week to do your u/s. xoxo

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  5. Woohoo... excited for you. But girl... you almost had me go into cardiac arrest here! I had to skip and go to the end first. I am so happy for you.

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  6. Thanks so much for the update! I've been stalking your blog, eager to hear about the appointment.

    And, yah, that RE needs to say SOMETHING sooner. I would suggest, "The sac is growing just like it should."

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  7. Whew, my heart started beating rapidly at the beginning of this post! So glad that the sac is growing and your RE is optimistic!!!

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  8. Yes!!!!! So happy to hear such wonderful news! Yes!!!

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  9. So glad that things are growing on target and that you'll get another u/s next Wednesday; that's fantastic! Yay for good news, and continually holding out hope for you!

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  10. Very good news indeed.

    Check in with us regularly during the next week if you need reassurance or just to vent.

    And, yes, keep doing what you are doing and grow, baby, grow!

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  11. By the way, my security word for my last comment was "surest" (vs. the one for this comment which is flatedl). I take the former as a very good cosmic sign!

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  12. That's wonderful! I shed a tear of happiness for you two.

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  13. Great news!! Even after the delay-of-cruelty! And so glad you are absorbing the PIO and your levels are up. One less thing to worry about. Take it as easy as you can.

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  14. You totally had me all nervous.. I had to scan down the post just to make sure it was good news before reading the middle part:)

    Congrats!

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  15. So glad things are looking good. Grow, baby grow! Praying for wonderful news next Wednesday!!!

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  16. Yay! That's EXCELLENT news! Will be thinking of you!

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  17. I was getting nervous the longer I read your post. So so happy for the awesome news. Good luck on Wednesday!!

    t.

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  18. Excellent! I'm so excited for you guys!

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  19. MY hands got sweaty with this one! No more silence, NYC RE! Talk while you search!

    Glad to hear it went better than expected after all that! We'll all be waiting for next Wed!

    (Enough "!", eh?)

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  20. Awesome news! So happy for you. I know those bad news u/s all too well. Grow bean grow!

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  21. Oh, you are a sly one if you think we will not call you out on putting us through the SAME thing with this post!!!!

    Where it the subtitle that tells me all is well??? Sweating it out, line by line...

    Awesomeness abounds.

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  22. Oh, Mo. That anticipation, having to lay still while your heart hammers out of your chest...it's agonizing. I am SO SO happy for you, that you got good news on the other side of the silence. May the trend continue! In the meantime, go buy yourself a great book (I am telling everyone to read Sloan Crossley's books), make plans for tea with friends, go to the movies -- anything to keep your mind as occupied as possible!

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  23. I have tears of happiness and relief in my eyes for you both right now. I was pretty sure (as you were torturing us with your story :-) ) that you had good news to share, but knowing that your bean is 4 days older and right on schedule is FANtastic news! I'm so happy for you! I don't know how you (all of us) will survive until next Wednesday for an update, but I'm going to breath a little easier right now. Thanks for the update and congratulations on a GOOD scan appointment!

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  24. Yay! so exciting!!! Sometimes I think Drs think you can hear inside your brain and forget that they need to fill you in on the details. Sheesh! It's great that he's willing to come in early for you.

    Very awesome stuff. Keep up the good work :)

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  25. Oh God!!! Don't they know what we are thinking when they are silent like that?!?! I am so happy things are going well.... I hope eventually you will be able to stop holding your breath but I know it isn't time yet. Take care.

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  26. Oh my thoughts and prayers are with you. Positive thoughts abound. Today was a good day. Long may it continue.

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  27. Still super psyched for you, Mo!! Still praying hard, too!

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  28. Wow, I would have been freaking out with the silence, too! Typical man ;). I'm soooo excited for the news! I can't wait to hear about the heartbeat next week! Wooohooooo!

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  29. That is one absolutely beautiful bean you have there!!! I am so happy to hear your news!!!! Looking forward to the next update!!!

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  30. Fabulous news!!!!! You wrote a page turner :) I like the ending......but can't wait to see what the ending looks like!! I can't wait for next weeks!!!

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  31. What a relief - during this sort of endless holding of breath (that lasts until your child turns 18 or so)...one more hurdle down! Hang in there and be happy.

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  32. Sounds like a tense morning! I'm glad the u/s looked good as well as the labs. I can't wait until the next u/s to get a better pic of baby mowill!

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  33. Sigh of relief....stop messing with mo and will doc!!!!

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  34. Whew! You really got me tense too reading this! Glad to hear things are growing on track. Here's hoping you see a nice heartbeat next week!

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  35. Tiny flickering! Itsy fetal pole! Good things really do happen!

    Also, fwiw, I have you, Sprogblogger, and Dora of My Preconceived Notion all lumped together by location in my head. And I keep thinking, "okay, Dora got her baby with donor embryo, subtract the sperm and Sprogblogger got her baby with donor egg, now subtract the egg and it's Mo's turn." This is going to work! :)

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  36. yes, yes, yes!!!!!!!

    FWIW, I found much more comfort with the maternal fetal medicine group - much more willing to give me an u/s WHENEVER I felt like I needed one because I was freaking out most of the time.

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  37. Oh, the silence!! For the love of Pete, now my heart is lodged in my throat! So excited for your good news, though. Woo Hoo!!!

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  38. I am so excited for you! Can't wait to hear all about the beautiful heartbeat after your next scan! Praying for you!

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  39. Heh! Love Manapan's comment. Imagining us three MOMMIES hanging in Central Park with our babes (Moxie, too). Awesome!

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  40. Sounds just fine...its a really good sign that growth was commensurate with number of days passed! I'm sorry you had to go through the cliffhanger first though..I'm dreading my first!

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  41. Hey Guys...
    I've been reading for a bit- someone pointed me to your blog as we are 3 days apart.
    This is such great news and I just keep thinking of you and wishing you he best.
    (I had my 6w u/s yesterday and the RE also said she thinks she saw what might be a heartbeat - nothing definite - but also after a long silence where I nearly died from the anticipation.)
    Hugs!

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