Monday, April 2, 2012

The three of us live to see another day


My RE fit us in this morning for a quick ultrasound. Told us to just find him in the back by the ultrasound area at 8:30AM. To not worry about an appointment. (It sounded so clandestine, but we were grateful.)

As of this morning, the spotting is still present but down to just a light brown. I figure whatever was bleeding still has to clear its way out of me, so the brown doesn't scare me so much.

When the RE saw us (huddled quietly in the back), he said he wouldn't be able to tell us anything except whether there's a heartbeat, because he doesn't deal with things this far along.

That's fine, we said. Heartbeat is all we care about at this moment.

So he did the scan.

Baby is big now!

And it has a heartbeat still (phew! I was trying not to totally freak out but was pretty nervous about that.)

Here - you take a look and see what you think...



Measuring a couple of days ahead, according to our RE. Heart rate today was 164 bpm.

So deep exhale over here on both Will's and my parts.

The three of us live to see another day.

Phew.

Seriously.

Looking forward to the "easy" part of this. The part where I'm just moseying along, relaxing, assuming everything will go well.

Maybe that isn't realistic.

But it sure would be nice.

Mo


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82 comments:

  1. Oh, I am so happy for the 3 of you! That is one tough little embryo! I hope that the rest of the pregnancy is "smooth sailing" or as close to that as possible!!

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  2. Great news!! I do think, though, that this should put this kabosh on any travel to which you are not legally bound.

    Really, really glad everyone is okay. :)

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  3. whew, and great picture...thanks for reporting back so quickly. still sending positive vibes into the universe for you.

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  4. Halleluiah! So very glad that everything's okay and that your RE was able to fit you in. Yay Lucky #7-- what a silly little joker you are! So very glad that all is well and hopeful that you can take a deep breath until your next regularly scheduled u/s (next week?). Sending hugs.

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  5. So glad the three of you are still ok...she (yes, I think it's a she) is getting BIG!
    I am not telling you this to make you worry...(I have been hoping and praying for you since I got my own IVF BFP), I spotted throughout my entire pregnancy up until week 32. The more women that I talked to about this...the more I heard stories that some women just spot. Sadly, I was on edge my entire pregnancy. I also had a cerclage at 12 weeks. I really did try to enjoy every moment but all I wanted was my full-term baby girl cuddled against me.
    Having said all of that...your pregnancy is going to be smooth sailing from here on out...it has to be. You have been through so much already that it just can't be any other way!

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  6. Phew, yes you need some boring down time. I hope 2 T will bring that.

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  7. Looks perfect to me.

    Lovenox + progesterone suppository could easily cause spotting. Also hormones are being shifted from supplements to placenta around this time...your Denver nurse might have words to say about that.

    I think you have graduated to fetus-hood, Mo. Congrats!

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  8. Exhale! SOOOOOO relieved for you. And that is the cutest baby I've seen all day! Much love to all three of you.

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  9. I had some bleeding due to the Lovenox causing bleeds? Do they ever see a bleed?

    Im just happy things are still going as they should. Seems like you are going to have a rollercoaster pregnancy as I did. It is all worth it in the end but you feel like you have aged by five years going through the whole process:(

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  10. My last episode of spotting happend at 10wks, hate the #%$#$^ spotting! As long as baby is growing on track and placenta looks good (no S.H.) I think your in good shape. I agree with previous commentors that this week is the big shift for your placenta to take over hormone production add that to lovenox and suppositories and its no wonder you're spotting. You're almost to the second trimester where all things settle down into a grove. You're really doing spectacularly so far! Hooray for the three of you!

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  11. Ooh, your little guy/gal is so cute!! Remember that C.CRM said that 80% of their patients bleed during the first trimester and the vast majority turn out to be fine. 80%! I know with what you've been through that it's impossible not to fret when it happens, but I got a little comfort realizing how common it really is.

    I'm so glad your little bean is still doing well, hope the bleeding stops completely soon and you can take a few deep breaths.

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  12. Look at those arms and legs! Glad the spotting is going away and thank goodness for you RE, he sounds like a great guy.

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  13. I was so nervous when I saw you had posted but then breathed my own sigh of relief!! So happy now. Thanks for updating and can I just say what an adorable little person you have growing inside of you? Yay!!! I don't think you will ever be able to just mosey along after all you have been through. Everything will spark worry and that is understandable. However, I AM hoping that you get to the "boring" pregnancy updates pretty soon. You know, the ones that go like this..."not much happening over here...just growing a baby." :-) I know you hope for that, too. For today, we celebrate the good news of a healthy pregnancy!

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  14. I am so so so so happy to hear this.

    :-)

    Hugs,
    Jacky

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  15. 164... little girl???

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  16. jeez, mo...
    these scares are so emotionally hard on me- seriously! i want this so much for you and will.
    so, knowing they are hard on me- i can only think that they are 10,000 times harder on you...

    i am so relieved things are going well for baby today! a great heartbeat, and measuring good, too.

    when is your next scheduled u/s?

    you are doing so good, keeping things together- it is so hard with multiple losses behind you- but just take it day by day.

    also, how awesome of your former RE to slip you in for a quickie. i love that.

    thinking of you and thanks so much for the update!

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  17. Breathing a sigh of a relief for you three! And continuing to keep you all in my thoughts and prayers.

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  18. phew!!!!! lovely pic!!
    have you thought about renting a doppler? i rented a babybeat and it made me sane(er). anytime i was worried i'd take a listen and feel a billion times better. i know they can sometimes make people more worried... so obviously you know best. it was just a miracle worker for me. totally NOT giving advice at ALL.

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  19. Ahh, deep breaths! HOORAY for a strong little heartbeat!!!

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  20. Phew! I am so glad everything is okay. Baby is getting big! So nice to hear that the little one is going strong.

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  21. You are keeping me in a perma-grin state these days, you know. I am SO happy every time I see that little bundle growing....and look forward to more of the same :)

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  22. As hard as it is, for your mental & emotional health, you need to find a way, through all the PTSD, to work toward a calm acceptance of this pregnancy. You have history now, that 'things' can happen and still be OK and you have to use that to fuel a paradigm shift. I totally believe you need to do whatever you need to do to get reassurance, but maintaining equilibrium is important for you AND your growing baby.

    So glad all is well and it is my belief it will continue to be. Believe it!

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  23. What a beautiful u/s pic! Your baby looks great. So relieved to hear that you had a heartbeat and the measurements were good. Hoping things get easier for you ASAP.

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  24. So glad you got into get an U/S this morning and even more happy that all is well. I hope that this is the last of the scary bleeding episodes and I hope that, in the next several weeks, you can begin to exhale.

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  25. Phew, indeed! Hopefully that's the last of your scares and you can settle into things.

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  26. HOORAY!!!! And well done, RE. Big sensitivity points for that clandestine arrangement--seriously! So glad all is well!

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  27. Looks like a healthy little baby inside there! Glad you were able to see the baby this morning & can take a sigh of relief!

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  28. Everything looks perfect! You're having a baby!

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  29. That is one beautiful baby you have in there. Look at the head and limbs and body....growing just as it should. Whew. I had a few gushes of red, unexplained bleeding with my daughter....it is scary as hell...but the more I read and talk to people the more normal it sounds....just about everyone I know had at least one pregnancy with a lot of spotting yet all turned out totally normal. I am hoping the same for you. Yay for that beautiful beating heart in there!

    kd

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  30. Beautiful! Continued good thoughts headed your way :)

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  31. Big exhale...so relieved! S/he looks absolutely beautiful! You are on your way!

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  32. So glad that all is well! Have you considered buying a fetal doppler for home? I had one for my twin pregnancy (in which I bled daily from 12-18 weeks). The doppler is the only thing that kept me sane and out of my MFM's office every other day. Best $50 I ever spent! I could very easily find both heartbeats from about ten weeks on. Just a suggestion :)

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  33. Exhaling over here too. Great news!

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  34. Wow - that's a real, proper baby in there! What a gorgeous picture! So chuffed all is still well. Ditto to everything everyone has said about spotting - I know several people who've had everything from spotting to all-out bleeding through what turned out to be successful pregnancies. I think things do get a bit easier when you can feel movement and get reassurance from a Doppler - though I didn't get one of my own as I knew I'd not be reassured and would always worry I'd only found my own HB!

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  35. Yay! And it is looking big! So cute!

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  36. Yup- that's one good-looking little one right there.

    I don't know about relaxing, but I do know that one day at a time is the only way to go here. Lots of things can cause spotting, as you know, including lovenox, sex, the universe screwing with you at random... but every day is a victory and puts one more day of worry behind you.

    Cheering you on here.

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  37. Oh, the baby is so cute! Wow! Glad you got your reassurance in spades.

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  38. I see a hand! Oh my gosh they develop so fast. Baby looks great!
    Ok universe, enough already! Let Mo and Will sail smoothly from here on out!

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  39. OK lady-any chance you will finally invest in a doppler to prevent us all from having these heart attacks over the next 30 weeks?!!!!!!!!!

    You are PLENTY far enough along to always (with patience) find a heart beat to soothe your tattered soul.
    Please??
    Pretty please??

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  40. Such a beautiful scan! So happy that everyone is doing well. I pray for you everyday. I know how scary this is for you. I feel the same way. Especially about telling people and thinking that in itself will cause something bad to happen. I hope that pesky spotting stops soon. Don't you wish you had an ultrasound machine in your house sometimes?! I swear anything my nausea stops for the afternoon or I have a cramp I want to rush to the ER. But, at $200 a visit that just isn't practical. I hope this first trimester speeds by and that we are in a "safer" place physically and emotionally in the next few weeks.

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  41. SOOOOOO HAPPY for you! Yeah! Yes Baby is getting so big- really looks like a baby now! Praying for smoothness from here on out!

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  42. Awww! Cute baby! I'm so glad everything is great!

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  43. Looks absolutely perfect. So glad all is well. I'm also going to suggest a doppler. It provides some sanity for me once a week.

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  44. So happy to see this update!!! Your baby is beautiful! :)

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  45. Great! I found a Doppler a nightmare at first because I couldn't find the heartbeats. That did not help! Later it was good but by then I could feel them moving. I think they work better if you are skinny so buy one if you have less upholstery.

    For me the entire pregnancy was a mix of joy, fear, paranoia and bliss. Sorry nothing mild or uneventful. It's a big thing that brings big emotions I'm afraid. I do hope yours calms down though. Xxx

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  46. whew! Are you still on blood thinners? If so that make any normal blood vessel creation a bit juicier than usual.
    again: WHEW!

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  47. That is a gorgeous baby you have there! I wish for you that after the first trimester you can find some peace and can enjoy the journey. It's so hard for anyone who has been through IF but even harder for someone who has been through what you have. You deserve to enjoy it and I wish all the happiness in the world to you.

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  48. Great news on baby, that damn spotting is like having a bad enemy show up on your doorstep. I hope it stays away for the rest of your pregnancy so you can have some peace of mind.

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  49. I totally have tears in my eyes...what a beautiful ultrasound! :) As many of the other ladies commented, I too had several episodes of spotting with both of my successful pregnancies (on hep/lovenox for both).

    *hugs*

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  50. Big ole PHEW!! from over here too. I bet a million $$$ that it is irritation from the suppositories that is causing the spotting. Hopefully you will be done with them soon. So glad Mo and Will, so very glad :)

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  51. Looks like a beauty to me! ENJOY!!

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  52. Your little baby is already CUTE! Congrats on the good news.

    As for the "easy, relaxed phase", I hate to tell you that it likely won't come until that little baby is one year old. At least that was the case for me...

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  53. Blood, you hateful mofo, stay away.

    Wonderful HB. Just wonderful.

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  54. Yea pretty much sums it up! :-)

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  55. i see a cute baby foot in that picture.
    mo and will's baby's cute foot.

    :)

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  56. So very glad to hear this, I was thinking of you today! Easy part of this? HA! I'm starting to think that will never happen. But boy do I wish it would....

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  57. That is a seriously great-looking embryo. I'm glad things are going OK so far, anyway.

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  58. So grateful that you got good news at your appointment. I don't want to wish your pregnancy away, but I can't wait for you to be holding this sweet baby in your arms and past this part of the fear. Although to be honest, then you'll just worry about other things! ;o) Hugs to you all!

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  59. That's a gorgeous sight.

    Well done, and keep up the good work.

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  60. I've said it before, but, yay. I'm so relieved to see this.

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  61. Really big friggin' EXHALE. Do you hear the there? The wind today, that was a collective exhale! So glad things are moving along. So sorry that you may never feel relaxed about this. Honestly, I'd think you were a bit otherworldly if you could pull that off after all you've been through... I think if I were you, I'd be designing lojack for babies at this point, b/c I mean really -- after all of this -- ALL OF THIS -- well hey, you'd be 100% justified in my eyes... :)

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  62. Phew!!! Gosh Mo...hang in there. I know you are...take care.

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  63. Ooh so cute!

    I fell into the 80% of CCRM'ers who bled during a successful pg. Actually I found that I would spot during the 3rd month and even into the 3rd tri whenever I was "overdoing it." Nothing that sitting down with my feet up and drinking a ton of water didn't help :-)

    After having a bunch of m/cs, I frankly thought people who told me to just relax and enjoy didn't really get where I was coming from. As the weeks went on it got easier, but I never was the blithe mama to be I wished I could be!

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  64. Wonderful news!! I bled bright red with both of my successful pregnancies, a lot of bright red. It is scary though. I also recommend a doppler. I used it all the way thru both of my pregnancies. I thought I would give it back once I felt regular movement but still needed the reassurance when I was far along! It's soo hard not to worry. Hang in there!!!

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  65. I'm so glad everything was okay. It's hard not to equate bleeding with impending doom, but it sounds like in this case there's something much more benign going on that's causing it.

    That ultrasound photo looks right on track for embryo development at that age. Are those feet on the bottom of the photo? I loved this stage of development, where you literally see something new at every scan.

    I hope you get to a point where you feel relaxed and assume everything will go well, but given your history, I think it's normal if you don't ever get to that point. That's not to say you won't begin to enjoy the pregnancy more at some point, because I was thrilled every. single. time. I felt A move, even on the day she was born. But on the other hand, I never got to the point where I just assumed everything would end well - I was still thinking "Please dear God let her be okay" right up until the point we heard her first cries...

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  66. So, so glad to hear everything is fine! :)

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  67. Wow! Your baby is HUGE! I'm so happy that everybody is okay. Deep breaths......

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  68. So so so great! :)

    You will have to update us on what it's like when you tell your families. So exciting.

    If you are considering a doppler- I found it brought me some peace of mind. I would listen to the sound of the baby's heartbeat before going to sleep.

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  69. Great News! I also had 1st trimester spotting after RPL, and I now have a healthy 8 month old. It doesn't get any easier unfortunately, I thought if I made it to the 2nd trimester, I could relax, I didn't even admit to a soul that I was pregnant until I was forced "out" to family at 18 weeks and workmates at 20+ weeks. I thought if I admitted it, I would "jinx" it, as I'm sure you feel now <3

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  70. WHEW! So pleased to hear this!

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  71. So glad you got good news. Think of you everyday and sent good wishes. Mine are now 43 and 37 YEARS old and I still worry over them. Once you really know that pregnancy and birth and baby are not sure things you always know this. You need to lean into this truth and keep breathing in and out and repeating. Worry will not help, hold hands with the world like you are doing and know you are surrounded by loving wishes.

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  72. What a beautiful little bean! I know you must just be on pins and needles and really hope that you are feeling some relief. So happy for you!

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  73. Wahoo! This sticky little embryo knows how to pose. So happy for you!

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  74. Here by way of a couple bloggy friends we have in common. I was so happy to read this post. And I'm thinking all good thoughts that you DO hit that easy, moseying part (and soon).

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  75. grooving on how great things look, but now worried about your days of quiet,
    sending LOVE to you
    xox
    kate

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  76. Just checking in to see how you're doing, you've been quiet the past few...

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