I went in for my weekly live baby check yesterday. I knew that a very dear friend of mine was likely to overlap at the OB's office with me. We've known each other since 2005. She is also a psychologist in academic medicine and works at a nearby institution. She is due at the end of May with her first, after IVF. She and I have the same doctor, and she is one of a very few friends who knows we are pregnant.
She and I sat together in the waiting room. And she hugged me and then she just started crying. She said this was the best appointment ever. That she was so thrilled I had gotten pregnant, and so far have stayed pregnant, after everything and after all this time. That it is her strongest wish come true for us to both be pregnant. And here we were. At the same time in the same doctor's office even. When the doctor saw me, she called me back right away, but my friend's appointment was first. My friend said - "Come with!" And we ended up having a joint appointment.
It was amazing to see her enormous belly and watch her ultrasound, see her (huge to me!) baby moving around, us only able to see one baby body part at a time because of the size. She had a cervical check and got advice on what to call the doctor's office about immediately should it occur.
Then I had my ultrasound. This was the first one Will couldn't attend, because he had a meeting that conflicted. And what a gift that my friend was there, holding my hand, oohing and aahing over my little itty bitty baby, who was kicking all over the place and had lots of amniotic fluid, heart beating strongly as ever. (My friend said she thought it looked like a girl. Because she thought it was moving gracefully. Of course, I think, maybe it's a graceful boy!...)
My friend kept saying to the doctor - "Isn't this amazing? Look at her baby! She's been through so much to get here. No one deserves this more than her! Have you ever heard of a story this bad? And now she's pregnant! She's in the second trimester! " The doctor of course (just like you guys) has indeed heard of stories this bad (and even worse). But my friend's generosity - her enormous excitement and enthusiasm on our behalf - well, it was heartwarming.
I think it was good for the doctor to see me with my friend, to see me in a more normal interpersonal context. To see me be relaxed, and warm, and happy. Because usually when she sees me, I'm a bit of a nervous wreck, and I have a ton of anxious questions, and I probably seem very, very serious. (My sense of humor, too, is very dry...and kind of dark...so is kind of hard to read until you get to know me well.) So I think the OB was taking all this in - this new sense of Mo - a Mo who is smiling and hugging and...funny. So that's good. Wouldn't want her to think I'm a dark cloud all the time, because I'm not. I'm just frequently terrified.
My friend and I made appointments for the next two weeks at basically the same time ('cause she's weekly at this point...and I'm neurotic and so being seen weekly)...so unless our spouses are uncomfortable with this setup, it looks like we'll be doing group appointments - or at least waiting room rendezvous - for the next little bit.
Makes me smile just to think about it.
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