Wednesday, October 13, 2010

It's all in my uterus's hands. Except my uterus doesn't HAVE hands!

Today we are at 5dp5dt and symptoms continue. The meaning of said symptoms continues to be confounding. As of yesterday afternoon, I have the following to report:

Cramping for hours, followed by no cramping, followed by cramping? Check
"Pulling" uterine sensations? (have felt this when pregnant in past sometimes) Not really
Rapid heart rate/shortness of breath? (a typical early pregnancy symptom for me) Check
Indigestion/Queasiness? Check
Fatigue? Check
Sore breasts? Somewhat
Bloating? Check
Spotting? No. Gosh darnit

Who knows. But I'm thinking maybe, just maybe. Am allowing myself to hope, which scares me.

So now there is the question of when to POAS. Sigh. The Denver nurse said to consider my embryos day 5, even though they are day 6 and 7. So no extra speedy testing for that reason.

I'll be honest with you guys. I HAVE actually peed on a stick the past two days. But I haven't looked, because I don't want to be disappointed/upset erroneously. It has taken enormous impulse control, but I have succeeded. This will sound crazy, but I opened the tests, labeled them, used them, and then immediately (without looking) sealed them into envelopes. Some of you who are longtime readers may remember that Will bought me a huge batch of HPTs during the two week wait from IVF #4 (boy that seems like a long time ago), so it's not like I have a shortage of tests. Later, if I'm getting positives, I will want to find out when I first started testing positive, but on the other hand, I know I will lose hope if I see a negative - even if it's early. If we ARE pregnant, I will immediately be wondering with how many...because...hey, we transferred three chromosomally normal blasts, and I theoretically could test positive quite early. Since two of the three blasts looked like shriveled raisins after the thaw, it's seeming more like we transferred one viable one and two dead(ish) ones, so I'm more worried that we are going to get nada than that we are going to get three. But who knows.

So the question is, when to start looking at the tests? Just to be on the safe side in terms of sensitivity, I bought two First Response Early Result Pregnancy Tests today (which I think measures down to 15 mIU hcg versus my other tests' sensitivity of 25 mIU hcg). Am thinking I might possibly POAS (and look) tomorrow. Or I might wait until Friday. According to the Early Response leaflet, "one study" (sample size annoyingly not reported) showed that all pregnant women tested positive four days before their missed period. Which I think would be tomorrow, since I'll be 6dp5dt. Am I counting right?

Egads. There is so much riding on this cycle emotionally. Feeling enormous internal pressure here (and it's not just the bloating).

What do you guys think? When should I start testing (and looking)? Tomorrow? Friday?

Hoping. Hoping. Hoping.


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  1. I'm in the no poas camp, maye the day of the bey a but not before, right now your pregnant until proven otherwise,so for me I wouldn't gain anything by poas and there is the potential for a false negative(crushing and stressful). So that's me, of course i don't have a working ute so I maybe biased...

    Ps: love the graphic

  2. That's day of the beta not day of bey!

  3. Blogger ate my comment!

    comes down to this:

    and so hopeful I could bust into flame at any moment.

  4. I'm a pee-er. I say go home on your lunch break and pee TODAY, but then I'm bad like that.

    Your self-control is remarkable - sealed envelopes? Really? I'd be sneaking out of bed to go unseal those envelopes, but then, I HAVE no self-control.

    I'll say, though, that I am feeling rather hopeful for you, my dear. I think your symptoms sound awfully promising.

    Hoping so hard for you, Mo. Shall continue to blog-stalk til we hear, and can't wait to take you out for a celebratory hot chocolate or something. Call when you can.

  5. As one of those kids who would secretly unwrap Christmas presents before Christmas, I say pee, pee, pee. And, unseal, unseal, unseal. Or, it may be that I just want to know because I want it so much for you both. So, let your instincts guide you on this one and the rest of us will be hoping and praying and wishing for two lines.

  6. i would be peeing and looking every day. :o) hoping for the best for you!

  7. The symptoms DO sound awfully good, I agree with Ms Sprogblogger.

    I'm not a POASer so I can't tell you I would start, but if I were... I'd wait until 7dp5dt. Why? No good reason, really.
    And whatever you do, I am beyond hopeful for you.

  8. Oh, Mo, I feel for you. The 2ww is the most awful part of cycling, I think.

    Here is the thing, there is a GREAT possibility that even if those sealed tests were negative during the testing window, they could turn positive outside of the testing window. There are countless women that I know who have tested, gotten a negative, only to fish it out of the trash later and see that it is positive, when, in fact, they were not pregnant. That is why those tests indicate that the results are invalid past the testing window.

    I say test tomorrow morning (or even this evening, but don't pee for 3 - 4 hrs) and if you can't bring yourself to look, ask Will to and to not tell you. Otherwise, wait until Thursday morning and test and look.

    I got a negative HPT 7dp5dt with my successful (PGD) cycle but I never tested again to see when it might have shown positive. So, wait until 8dp5dt. It's been my experience that, especially with blast, 8dpt tells the tale.

  9. My clinic calls me a cycle cheater because I always pee on sticks before my betas! It is an obsession and FRER are the BEST!!!! I never get early responses on othere....BUT...with that being said....even though we transferred 5 day blasts for our actually took me the longest to get a +HPT on that cycle. I was convinced I was not pregnant because with my natural conception and my two fresh cycle positives...I got them all by 11 or 12 dpo (or what should have been anyway)....Not with this took until 13dpo for me to get that positive and I just about killed myself with all those negative test up to that point! So...I say wait until will be what it is no matter what on that day anyway...don't add any undue stress before then if you don't have to.

    But...I am very happy with your symptom list....sounds very promising.

    And don't be worried about the shrivelled raisin embryos...ours didn't look so good either and we got a baby out of it....they just need enough live, rehydrated cells to start dividing again...


  10. I wanted you to know that I stumbled upon your blog several months ago and although I don't know you at all, I am hoping this works. You seem to be a bright and thoughtful person who would be an excellent mom.

    As a person who liked to be surprised on Christmas, I would wait for a couple more days. But your symptoms sound very, very good. I have my fingers crossed for you.

  11. I have no self restraint whatsoever, so I'd have to POAS. I can say that on a successful natural cycle I had a negative at 16dpo. No kidding. I didn't test again for two more weeks (when I was so exhausted I couldn't figure out what else it could be) when I did get a positive. So you never know...

    Your symptom list is very promising! I never spotted, btw. I've got all my fingers and toes crossed!

  12. I say look when you find it more stressful not knowing than finding out. I know personally I ended up finding HPTs more stressful than any part of the conception process, and gave up using them altogether. But it is a very personal thing. From your entry, I'd guess you'd be happier waiting until Friday, but if you really feel like going for it tomorrow, go for it.

    Hoping hard for you!

  13. We had a 5-day blast and I got a faint positive at 7dp5dt. Shocked the heck out of me. It turned out that 2 initially stuck, but only one made past 7 weeks, so I might wait until 8dp...but everyone's different.

    Sending lots of hope your way!

  14. Oh girl you have SERIOUS will power... I would SO be looking at those HPTs! I'm praying for you two - that you get your BFP & soon! I would be POAS right now, but that's me... I'm addicted! I can't wait to hear what you decide & what the results are!

  15. My advice is to hold off POAS until you can't stand it any longer. Friday sounds like a good day. Like a previous poster said- right now you are PUPO so wouldn't it be better to stay that way mentally? Your symptoms sound awesome! I spotted with my natural cycle that I ended up miscarrying and DID NOT SPOT with my successful IUI cycle that resulted in twins. Don't put too much stock into that. Good luck and I'm totally stalking you!

  16. you have incredible self control! i could never poas and then seal it up without looking!

    i just had my first ivf in august and got my first (very light) positive on 5dp5dt and a darker positive 6dp5dt. I say pee today!!!!

    hoping, wishing and praying that this is the one for you and Will!

  17. Had 3 frozen 3 day embies transfered. Had cramping on 1 side, bloating and exhausting, never a spot of blood in sight. Got 1st BFP on 7dp3dt. Gave birth to a gorgeous baby girl 5 months ago!! I started POAS at 5dp5dt (negative).. but kept on peeing.. its either going to show up or not! (some of my IVF friends got bfn until surprise positive betas) In your case, I totally think it will show up + !! Praying and sending you tons of sticky dust!! Come on little raisin embies stick it out!! xo

  18. I am a POAS addict. I say do it tomorrow! :)

  19. comment either way but I think if I was you I'd POAS and look at it 2 mins later. Anxiously awaiting your results!

  20. I'm also an addict, and I say tomorrow, too. I've shown a line on a FRER at a level of 6 or 7 and possibly even lower.

    May you have two lines with one getting darker and darker and darker...

    FX! I have a good feeling about this cycle.

  21. I have no self restraint, so I am impressed by your sealed envelope system! Whatever you do, Mo, I support. It seems like many FETs take a little longer to show a positive, so if you do test early, please don't be discouraged and heartbroken just yet. I'm thinking and hoping and wishing for a positive for you!

  22. Oh, the bittersweetness of HPTs....I don't have any assvice. Just know that I am hoping, hoping, hoping for you and Will.

  23. You have some very promising symptoms. I'm getting my hopes up for you. I don't have any advice about the best thing to do. I can only tell you that if if were me, I'd wait until Friday to sneak a peek. However, I'd do a fresh pee stick and then check out the old ones. Sometimes there is that damned evap line and if you do a fresh test, you should get a real answer with no chance of an evap line.

  24. Ok, I'm not one to give assvice on peeing on sticks as during one cycle I peed twice a day and looked (!) just in case:(. I am tres impressed with your self-control!

    Your calculations sound right to me. Hoping with you for good news.

  25. Good lord, woman, you have self-control in spades! Sealed envelopes?? I could not live in the same house as them and not peek. I always said I was a POASer, but when it came time to actually do it, I always waited til beta day, in the morning, before the blood draw. I figured if it was gonna show up, it would that day. False negatives scared me too much.

    When is beta? Sunday? If so, I'd say no POASing until at least Friday. And use FMU. Just in case of those evil false negatives.

    Love the symptoms, btw. They sound very promising! :)

  26. I had a real POAS problem. I always waited until 9dp3dt and tested positive that day each time I was actually pg. It is so hard and I am NOT good at waiting.

  27. O!M!G! Your restraint is INSANE! Okay, my vote is First Response tomorrow morning. First morning pee.

    BTW, you sound pregnant to me. And I never had the tiniest bit of spotting.

    HOPE!!!! HOPE!!!! HOPE!!!!

  28. It seems like the advice we always give each other is to wait as long as possible. So I say wait a few more days. But then few of us actually follow that advice. So who knows. I have a good feeling for you though!

  29. Hey! Just started following you!

    I am a POAS queen! I just can't help it! So, I would do it now, now, now!

    I have no self control when it comes to that sort of thing. But, I do like your envelope idea.

    I still vote that you do a First Response first thing in the morning.

  30. I have never gone through any type of IVF, but we have been trying for #2 for 4 years. I am a POAS kind of woman! I have no patience or self control when I have the smallest ray of hoping to be pregnant. I think it is best to wait, but I know it is easier said than done. I wish you the very best!

  31. After my third IVF I learned not to POAS until after my BETA, just too heartbreaking to see it negative. Wishing you nothing but lots of blue lines and positive signs when you decide to look!

  32. I am a huge POAS advocate...personally, I would pee on the stick and look, but if I were telling my sister what to do, I would tell her to wait until Friday at the earliest.

    And under no circumstance would I pee on anything other than the FRER! NON - digital.


  33. ACK! Loaded question. I never tested, and, now I'm superstitious about it since it was actually positive both times. But, then again, they didn't stay long, maybe I will test this time?

    GOOD LUCK! I say dont test too early and drive yourself insane. Easier said that done, I know. I know. SO MANY FINGERS crossed your way!!!!

  34. I am not really a good person to ask considering I peed on a stick every chance i got :-)
    I say do whatever makes you feel better...if that is peeing on a stick everyday then you do just that! Dont let anyone tell you different...
    I am soo praying for you!

  35. This comment has been removed by the author.

  36. FWIW, I'd wait til Friday. If you are pg, the line will be clear, not a 'squinter'. I also agree with the PP who mentioned that evap lines can happen after the window of time to read the tests (I don't know about the hospital brand ones, though).

    I have to be the odd one out and say that I don't like FRER's-- for this pg. at 6:30 am I could BARELY see the line on the FRER but on the Clearblue Easy both + and digital it came up super quick (and my beta was 48 when I got tested at 4 pm that day, so I found them to be way more sensitive than FRERs).

    Your symptoms sounds promising, and I haven't had spotting with either of my pregnancies, FWIW.

    Lots of prayers and hope coming your way!

  37. Oh Mo, I'm so nervous and excited and hopeful for you. Seriously, reading this post gave me nevous twitches!
    I'm a no POASer so I can't help you as to when to peek.
    ...But go on, peek tomorrow so we can start celebrating with you!!!

  38. I don't know you, but I've been following your blog for forever. I got pregnant from IVF a year ago August and had twin girls in April. This post brought me back to all of those feelings I had then. I POAS 8dp5dt, and a faint line showed up. I have a good feeling about this one for you!

  39. Whoa - you have impressive self-control. I am a POAS addict too and got the first *extremely* faint positive on 7dp3dt, but that was with triplets.

    I'd totally POAS on Thursday - and look - if I were you. But since you're hoping for one baby, I wouldn't expect to see a very faint line before Friday.

    Pics here to show just how faint it was on 7dp3dt with 3 and a crazy high beta, so you don't get discouraged (yeah, right!) if you do decide to POAS and don't see anything tomorrow yet:

    Given your symptoms, you sound so very pregnant to me. The rapid heart rate can't be argued with. :)

  40. OMG. I have been in the infertility blogosphere and have seen (and done) some crazy, crazy stuff, but peeing on sticks and sealing them in envelopes, unviewed? Takes the cake! I am not sure what to think except that I remain hopeful for you and am keeping everything crossed.

  41. I got my first very faint bfp at 5dp5dt. I say test and look!!! Of course...i have no willpower!

  42. De-lurking to say that I really hope that this is the one for you, no matter where you decide to splash your urine.

    I'm am avidly following your updates, and I am sending a bucket of luck and hope your way.

  43. Lurker here!! POAS early Friday morning...... and LOOK AT IT !! Those in the envelopes aren't going to be accurate cuz of the wait... BTW... I had a singleton, and then twins.... and never one time spotted. Your symptoms sound GRRRREEEAAAAT !! Many positive thoughts and prayers going your way !!

  44. Dude. You cant store peed on sticks and pull them out later and have them be valid.

    Can you?

    Step up and do it tomorrow. Pee in a cup to ensure the right soakage.

    Law, I cannot wait to see your lines.

  45. PS - You owe us an explanation where the hell you found a uterus on a bike. As if this is not good enough, the uterus has a baby uterus. In a basket.

    I love your blog.


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