In. gulp. FOUR. days.
OMG.
OB says with the gestational diabetes issues + thrombophilia issues + my age + my loss history, she does not want to wait any longer.
Plan is to start with cervadil and then move on to pitocin.
I will be 39 weeks and 2 days.
This is really not at all how I wanted this to go down. Was really hoping to do this naturally. Trying to wrap my head and heart around this new plan.
Trying.
Mo
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mo,
ReplyDeletei follow your blog closely and am so happy for you and this baby. please-learn from me. just embrace what will happen and how the baby will come into this world. all you want is a safe, healthy baby. how she gets here is HER choice-i held on so tightly to the "must have natural childbirth" that when i was induced at 42 weeks and 2 days (with two days of pitocin) and then had a csection b/c baby wouldn't budge-they found him up by my belly button-comfy as can be. with the cord around this neck, mind you (but he was fine). and he.is.perfect. i was so traumatize and disapointed and mad and just wish i hadn't held on to the natural childbirth notion-i set myself up to be let down by anything "less" than natural childbirth. none of it is LESS. it is magpie's choice -let her decide and roll with her plan. all you want is to have her in your arms.
best,
a friend in bklyn
Thinking of you, Will and Magpie even more than usual in the coming days.
ReplyDeleteMay your birth story unfold in the best way possible.
Hey, Mo. I hear you, I really do. I was induced with LG (and early c-sectioned for Tiny Boy) and really didn't want my births to go down that way. On some level, I think I'm still angry about it. But the real goal, of course, was a healthy baby, and I trusted my OB that that was the best way to do it. And in the end, well, healthy babies.
ReplyDeleteI'll hope you go into spontaneous labor in the next few days, though!
You're going to have a Magpie, Mo. Next week. And that is just amazing!! I couldn't be happier for you.
Oh Mo, this is so exciting! I know that we all have ideas of how we hope the labor and delivery to go, and its hard to accept changes to the plan. First of all, I will cross my fingers that in the next four days you find yourself in spontaneous labor. But if not, no matter what it will be magical. My water broke at 40w2d and then nothing happened. I had to be induced that day, which is not what I had hoped for either. Labor was fast and painful as a result, but I truly would not have changed a thing. The birth of your first child is an experience like no other. As long as your sweet Magpie emerges happy and healthy, that's all that matters!! I'm so, so happy you're finally here!
ReplyDeleteHealthy baby and healthy mommy ... thats all that matters. Keep chanting this to yourself. My birth experience was not at all what I expected or hoped for but in the end, it didn't matter at all. Our perfect, beautiful baby son was with us and we were a family of 3. The best moment of my life even though it came by c-section. I would change a thing. Healthy baby, healthy mommy. Keep chanting.
ReplyDeleteI am so excited for you and Will it brings tears to my eyes. I CANNOT wait to read about beautiful Magpie's birth.
Sorry ... that should have read "I WOULDN'T change a thing" ... sheesh, I should proof my comments before hitting publish!
ReplyDeleteOK, you know what? WOOHOOOOOOOOO!!!! (And good for your doc for making the tough call.)
ReplyDeleteI know it's disappointing, to know that the 'natural' birth you want isn't likely to happen, but you know what? Having been there/done that, I had about as 'unnatural' a birth as is possible to have--and I'd wanted a drug-free, dim light sort of experience. Made no difference in how Hen behaved as a newborn, in breastfeeding, how quickly I recovered, etc.
I know it's hard to let go of the 'ideal', but please, try not to stress this one. However she gets here is the perfect way, you know? You've been through so much to get to this point that the last few hours of your pregnancy? As long as she gets here safely, it's just not a big deal one way or the other. Really.
And Monday! Wow! It's your last weekend of sleeping in (not that you're likely comfortable enough right now to be sleeping well, but you know...)
Mo, you're breaking through that finish line tape even as I type this. So excited. (And desperately wish you were more of an over-sharer so that we could all get constant bloggy updates from your hospital bed!) Shall try to contain my impatience and merely stalk your blog every hour on the hour after Monday morning, waiting for news.
So. EXTRAORDINARILY. Excited for you.
Wow!
SO EXCITING!!!!! I'm sorry it's not happening the way you'd planned. I know how that feels - I wanted a natural water birth and ended up with a C-section. When they put that beautiful baby in your arms, none of that will matter. Sending tons of good thoughts your way for a smooth birth. SQUEE!
ReplyDeleteDe-lurking to add a hopefully reassuring story. I was induced at 37w exactly due to pre-e and HELLP and had a fantastic labor and delivery. Was it what I wanted? No, of course not, but I was allowed to labor at my pace, without pressure, and delivered my son without major intervention (just the pitocin, the mag, and a little Nubain during transition).
ReplyDeleteYou'll do great and once you are holding your baby, it won't matter.
I understand your hesitance at wanting to be induced. I felt the same way when I was 41 weeks 2 days pregnant, but doctor didn't want to wait any longer. Although it was not what I wanted, I tried to do my best with it.
ReplyDeleteI had a cytotec induction (similar to cervadil) and came in at night to start that. The nurse offered me a sleeping pill, but I didn't take it. I should have. But I wanted to be as "natural" as possible since I was having to be induced.
You are right to try to "come to terms" with it now before you get there. And remind yourself that your health and Magpie's health is what is important, not how she gets here.
Go and get yourself some pineapple, hook up to the breast pump and if that doesn't work climb into bed with your honey.. you are full term and these methods of natural induction may work... if not trust the doctors and embrace this miracle that is on the way to you in just FOUR days... YIPPEEEE
ReplyDeleteI totally agree! Probably the last time you'll have the time to be "romantic" for a while anyway :). Also, foot and ankle massage is supposed to stimulate labor as well!
DeleteDon't lose heart, though. My first had to be induced at 42 weeks and I delivered him naturally, it can happen. And if you have to have a c section, once you get her in your arms it won't matter a bit.
Can't wait to hear she has arrived!!
I'm seconding EJW. Had an induction for HELLP with Nubain and PItocin, no epidural, and a successful vaginal birth. It's rare but possible.
ReplyDeleteHaving your Magpie on the outside will be the best, no matter what else happens.
Praying all goes well and smoothly.
ReplyDeleteJust relax and let it happen. I can guarantee that it will not go as planned- that's the nature of birth. I can guarantee that it will a life-altering and wonderful experience- and that's what matters.
Allow yourself to feel whatever you will feel about being induced and missing out on the birth you wanted/anticipated. Grieve that so you can let it go and embrace your actual birth!
Will be thinking of you. Enjoy your last weekend as parents-to-be!
Hi Mo,
ReplyDeleteBest of luck for your induction- just remember to keep moving around to let gravity help the pit and ask for a telemetry monitoring device so you can leave your room and get in the tub! I've seen many a birth induced with pit but end "naturally" delivered.
Your cervix is already favorable!
And if you haven't already- go see an acupuncturist, who can help stimulate your labor and naturally induce you!!
I'll be thinking about you!
Ashley @ Life with Busy Bea
Ok, maybe you are avoiding the craziness of going into labor on your own, but at least the plan (for now) is to go as natural as possible. The main goal is "healthy baby, healthy mommy". I know I would be disappointed, too, but maybe once you let it sink in it won't seem so bad. We are all SO happy for you! You will have little Magpie in your arms on Monday! That is the best news!
ReplyDeleteNatural, schmatural. You will have your precious daughter, that's all that matters. And take pain meds if you need to. It's sad that we are indoctrinated to believe a certain type of birth is more worthy than another. You will have a baby! After all these years! This calls for celebration!!!!!
ReplyDeleteMo-
ReplyDeleteI have been following your blog since I started trying to conceive my miracle (who turns TWO! in December).
IVF, cerclage, bleeding until the end, gestational diabetes...I had it all. In the end how my little girl got here didn't matter (I had a scheduled section) because once I heard her, saw her, held her and breathed her in, the ONLY thing that mattered was that I had my little girl with me...healthy, full-term and without complications.
I can assure you that the only thing that will matter is your Magpie and the most amazing and overwhelming love for the little miracle that you worked so hard to bring into this world.
I will be thinking of you on Monday and if you post nothing else for weeks, please let us know that Magpie arrived safely (oh..and a picture would be nice too :)
I AM SO EXCITED FOR YOU!!!!!!!!! One thing I have to say that is a silver lining to all that you've suffered is that this child will never ever question how wanted they are. You truly have gone the distance and had a journey to get here. What a lucky baby to have a mom like you. KUDOS BABE!!!!!!! Love from one of those chicks who reads your blogs but we've never met!! XOXOXOXO
ReplyDeleteWaaaah, what happened to my comment blogger??
ReplyDeleteAnyhoo, I was saying that I didn't think I'd become a mother the way I did either--us meeting our babies in a dank orphanage, watching them driven up to us without car seats (ACK!), but the millisecond they were in my arms that stuff melted away. I know it will be the same for you, too. Grieve the loss of the delivery you wanted and hoped for, but my gosh, that little sweetie will BE HERE in your arms so very, very soon. Wishing you a safe and healthy delivery!
I've been following Magpie's story from the beginning, and SO excited that she's coming soon!! I know it is really hard to accept that it won't go down the way you want it to- you feel sad because you had hoped for one thing, it happens another way, you don't feel like you SHOULD be sad when you're getting a healthy baby, and yet...I'm glad you're giving yourself time to work through that, and also? I can't WAIT to hear that she's here!!!
ReplyDeleteI love your OB. I love that she's taking no risks with this baby or with you. This is the right decision.
ReplyDeleteI am so excited for you!
Best of luck to you, Wil and Magpie!
ReplyDeleteI was induced at 39w3d (or 4d? I don't remember!) because of gestational diabetes, and it was not how I wanted it to happen. It was not the perfect birth experience, but I did end up with a perfect little baby girl after years or trying. The outcome was all that mattered to me in the end. We were both safe and healthy!
Had cervadil with my daugther around 3pm. Around 6pm I was admitted to the hosptial. I hadn't even gone home yet before I was in full active labor from cervadil. I was only 1cm dialated when cervadil was inserted. The nurse said it is very common for cervadil to throw someone it to full active labor if their body is close anyways. So you can still experience "natural" labor.
ReplyDeleteI have to echo what the others have suggested... I was adamant for a natural birth... After five days, I ended up with a c-section - on April Fool's Day! It was the one thing I really didn't want and my doc knew it, so when she told me we had to do it, I knew it must be the last resort. I struggled for a long time after, feeling like I failed, or whatever. But, during one appointment, she looked at me in no gentle way, and told me that I had to re-define what I considered childbirth. Now, that's what I do when I feel like I missed out on that experience.
ReplyDeleteAfter all the crazy wonderful things that have happened in the last eight years, the way he came to me matters so very little.
All the best and good luck next week! 10-22-2012 is a pretty great set of numbers!
My children weren't born i nthe way I anticipated either (to other mothers), and yet they're mine. Do I wish I'd birthed them myself? Yes. But, more than anything, I just am grateful that they are in my arms. Thinking of you as your day of meeting babygirl draws near!
ReplyDeletelet's be honest - not a single thing about your entire pregnancy has been natural. so if this is the best option for her to make it into your arms, go for it! The risk and longer recovery will stink for you, but you'll make it, and your little girl will be here and make it all worthwhile! So excited for you.
ReplyDeleteIt's almost here, Mo!!! I am so grateful that you have made it this far. I know induction (I accidentally typed "infuction" - yikes, no!) isn't your ideal, but your doctor isn't taking any chances with Magpie, and truly I agree that that is for the best.
ReplyDeleteI wanted natural birth too, took the classes, hired a doula, pushed induction back and back and then labored with pitocen and no epidural.. and never, even at 41w6d, got to 1cm. And you know us IFers have our due dates right. I had a c section. And then they told me she was almost ten pounds, and I knew that this had been God's plan all along. My girly bits are intact and my baby is healthy.
It always pissed me off when people told me that all that matters is a healthy baby, because to me the birth mattered too. The second I heard her cry - that exact second - I no longer gave a damn how she exited my body, only that she was here and healthy. So please know that once on the other side, the glory and wonder and beauty of your baby will eclipse any lingering worries about the manner of her birth. You are so close and I am beyond happy for you!
Also, as a very long time reader, can I request a quick one-liner update daily until she's born? I freak out when we go a few days without an update. I'm deeply invested in you and in your story. xoxo
MONDAY!! Magpie's birthday! Jumping up and down and shouting. Okay, in my head, since I'm at work.
ReplyDeleteSince your cervix is already softening, here's hoping you go into labor on your own before Monday. Or if not, then a little pitocin may be all you need to move things along. My only advice is that if your OB says a c-section is indicated, but not necessary immediately, think about having it sooner rather than later. I really believe that one of the reasons I recovered fairly quickly was that I hadn't been in labor for an extended period of time. It just makes sense that your body will recover faster if you're not physically spent before surgery.
And, yes, what Anonymous @2:28 said. Take the pain meds if you need them. Your body will heal faster if your pain is controlled. And it's really okay with nursing. Sunshine had no problem whatsoever when I weaned off the pain meds after my c-section, and then again when I weaned off them after my foot surgery.
OH! And that bit of time when they bring you to postpartum and take Magpie to the nursery is a perfect time to update us! Just a quickie phone post. :-)
xoxo
I've been following your blog for years and am so excited for you that you are finally at this point! Just to add to the reassuring induction stories, my second baby was born via induction due to reduced fetal movements., I just had one round of the cervical gel at 8pm and he was here by 1am that night. Drug free, quick and painful but all natural after the induction bit and we were both fine. Wishing you all the luck in the world.
ReplyDeleteSo excited for you! I hope everything goes smoothly and that you have a wonderful birth story to remember and share.
ReplyDeleteHow exciting! I know this isn't your ideal plan but just remember you are about to hold your baby girl!
ReplyDeleteOh Mo, can't believe it! Monday/Tuesday will be one of the happiest days of your life!! Just think about that precious baby girl in your arms... it is really happening! :)
ReplyDeleteEven though this may not have been your choice or your delivery plan, try to focus on her safe arrival into the world. Having a schedule induction will allow things to unfold in a more monitored and controlled way and I know you will (and she) will have the best care.
ReplyDeleteHow she arrives will fade over time and what will resonate is that she arrived.
Good luck. You CAN do this!
You will do great! You are already effaced, and your body will be ready to do what it needs to. Think positively. I emailed you previously, I had a similar experience with GD and blood thinners. I was induced even earlier than you and all was well. Natural as far as no epidural and no other pain meds...cervadil did a great job starting it off and a bit of pit was all that was required. No matter what, your little one will be here with you, safely, SOON!
ReplyDeleteI'm with everyone on this including YOU>
ReplyDeleteI wish I had been able to have the birth I envisioned. But i didn't.
But I did get Della.
"none of it is LESS"
With your doc, you'll be able to talk about how much and when of what and how you are feeling and why you want things and why they want things and we all want the same thing:
Safety first (OF COURSE), and as comfortable and empowering an experience as possible for you. Since your doc ROCKS, you'll have more opportunity to dialog than many of us. Maybe you can even talk with her more about it before monday.
and who knows? Maybe little Magpie will emerge the good oldfashioned way before Monday.
HOME STRETCH BABY
insanely excited for you,
with such big love,
Kate
Congratulations Mo!
ReplyDeleteI add my voice to say that while of course we would love the birth to go according to each of our imagined ideal, what really matters is that Magpie arrive safely in your arms.
As an ICU doc my opinion is swayed and...I have seen way too many babies injured or lives cut short or irrevocably changed in an instant to care about anything other than a healthy baby.
During my own pregnancy, I found out around 34 weeks that my baby was breech. At the time I was told that if he didnt turn spontaneously, we could try a version or plan a c-section. I found it very difficult to get my head around "choosing" his birthday, so I spent a couple of weeks trying everything I read to get him to turn, and despite no garantee and the risks of version felt compelled to try it. If it didnt work, I consoled myself with the idea that the night before a planned C-section my husband and I could plan something special to celebrate the beginning of this new chapter of our life. Well what do you know,at 37 weeks on the day I was supposed to meet my OB to discuss version, my water broke and I had no choice, C-section that day. I was not ready, it was not as I had planned, and you know what, it was perfect anyway. I got to see him being born, I got to do skin to skin and nurse him in the OR, and my C-section interfered in no way with nursing or bonding.
I will be hoping you go into labor on your own; a couple of friends had good experiences with acupuncture for this.
I wish you a wonderful last few days of your pregnancy, a beautiful birth, and your beautiful Magpie safe and healthy in your arms.
I too wanted a natural drug-free delivery just because after struggling with IF I wanted *something* to go with as little intervention as possible. But I was induced at 41+2 due to low amniotic fluid - got cervidil and went into labor just 2 hours later (never needed pitocin) but did get an epidural after 2 hours of the most excruciating contractions (they hurt). I pushed and gave birth two my 8 1/2 pound baby lying on my back (no gravity to help me - not like I had originally wanted at all). Baby was healthy, I had a third degree tear. However, when I think back to this day, all I feel is the most amazing, complete happiness.
ReplyDeleteI hope you will, too!
I feel like this is a mirror of my birth experience! I was induced at 41+1 but with misoprostal. OMFG what a mistake! Wish I had insisted on the cervidil. The tear was atrocious due to his arm coming out with his head (which was large!)
DeleteI would feel the same about being induced, but as you well know, IF makes one succumb to being flexible ; ) Hoping it all turns out fabulous!
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh, I'm so excited for you, I'm actually going to put this on my calendar so I don't forget!!! Everyone else is right, it really doesn't matter how she gets here, just that both of you are healthy! I had a scheduled c-section at 38 weeks due to a failing placenta. I have NO idea what it feels like to be in labor, no idea what contractions feel like. And you know what? I don't really care! Wow - 4 more days!! I'm thrilled for you!!
ReplyDeleteWow! So exciting that you're going to meet Magpie in just 4 days!
ReplyDeleteAnd for what it's worth, my highly-medicalized induction/labor/birth is one of the best memories of my life...not what I wanted, but so much better than I expected. I'm hoping your experience is the same!
I'll be following closely for the next few days!!
Mo, as you dive into the craziness that is life with a newborn, there will undoubtedly be times when you think, "OMFG, what do I do now?!" And you just don't feel like asking your fertile family members. We'll be here as your blog changes, but please feel free to call, email, or text me. I mean it. Even if you think your freakout is dumb. These tiny, totally dependent people are REALLY, REALLY NEEDY! And you will be really, really exhausted. So will Will. I will be there when Magpie's been screaming for an hour. Well, on the phone at least. Much love.
ReplyDeleteMo,
ReplyDeleteI am so thrilled for you.
Birth is such a surreal experience because it is totally out of your control. Everything you want in a birth may or may not happen - who knows.
I had a difficult birth and was frustrated when other mothers boasted about their natural, drug-free, vaginal deliveries. They were just lucky to have that birth - it wasn't in their control at all (just like conception is outside our control as you know!)
You may not have the ideal vaginal/natural birth but when is life ever "ideal?"
(PS If you need an epidural or pain relief don't feel bad - it was the best decision I made and totally turned around my birth experience! Not what I wanted, but I had to do what was right for me)
My OB also told me to be thankful that we are giving birth in such wonderful hospitals with medical intervention available if necessary. I know I wouldn't be here with my DD without medical intervention during birth - I feel extra lucky to live in a first world country with IVF and great medical facilities!
It's so exciting!!
Hugs.
Caroline xx
Monday, how exciting! I agree with everyone else. The birth is just a blink of the eye in the grand scheme of things. Best wishes for however it unfolds, it will be an amazing moment for you to hold her no matter how she makes the journey out! I am having my son on Wednesday, scheduled c section. A little advice for you, persevere with breast feeding even if it is hard. get help straight away in hospital with a good lactation consultant and ignore conflicting advice from various midwives. It can take ages to establish easy feeding, but it is such a wonderful thing - in my eyes much more important (and long lasting) than a "natural" birth.
ReplyDeleteLike so many who have already commented, I wanted a natural birth after all the medical intervention it took to get pregnant. But the minute the midwife said c-section, I said yes. And thank goodness, because Z was pretty distressed when they finally got him out.
ReplyDeleteDid she check you today? Dilated at all? Maybe a little membrane stripping to get things going a little more naturally?
I'm loving all the great comments you're getting - I know already that I'll be induced at 39w (I'm currently almost 31w). I'll be doing acupuncture to try to bring on labor naturally, or at least prep my body for the induction. Prenatal massage can be good too - instead of avoiding the sensitive spots, they can work on them.
ReplyDeleteIt'll all work out in the end, and you'll get to meet Magpie!
xoxo
Delurking to wish you luck! I was induced at 39 weeks because of my age. Pit didn't work, so on the 3rd day they broke my water and I had a normal and painkiller-free labor. One word of advice: sleep while you can, as much as you can. If you're in the hospital for any length of time, they'll keep you up with all the monitoring- exhausting! All best wishes to you and Magpie : )
ReplyDeleteHi Mo,
ReplyDeleteHave you asked them to sweep your membranes yet? That can sometimes help to trigger labour.
Cervidil is a good idea. It may even get your labour started for you without the pitocin. Whatever you do, do NOT let them try misoprostal. They used a quarter pill on me in order to begin induction and it not only got labour started but it sent my contractions into overdrive-they had to inject me with something to slow them down. Cervidil can be removed if your contractions get too intense.
I'm very excited for you. Hope you go naturally before then!
Sorry things aren't going the way you wanted. I totally understand wanting something to be natural after all that you've had to go through to get to this stage.
ReplyDeleteBut you know, one way or another, Monday is going to be the most amazing day of your lives. Giving birth is going to be an incredible experience that will teach you about what you can endure emotionally and physically. And Magpie's entry into the world will bring with it one special moment that will be your memory to cherish for ever more.
I commented last time about my tips for encouraging your body. You said you were effaced anyway, so your cervix is preparing itself. It's very possible that your induction will still give you the birth experience you wanted.
BTW, have you looked up Magpie's birthday yet? I remember when I had to schedule my daughter's induction, I was obscurely comforted by the fact she'd share a birthday with Jules Verne.
Monday is a great day to be born! Good luck!
ReplyDeleteMo, your DAUGHTER is going to be here MONDAY! How exciting is that? I echo everyone. Labor rarely goes how anyone anticipates. Too many variables. Enjoy your experience. It's yours. However it turns out. You get a BABY! Good grief. I think I'm almost as excited as when my own kids were born. Sending labor thoughts your way....
ReplyDeletehey!
ReplyDeletelooking forward to the best, safest birth possible for ms.magpie, and for you. monday she will be born, and monday you will have crossed over!!
10/22/12
there you go, a day we have all been waiting for!
take it slow and easy, mo... even with an induction, you have support and love and you know what you are doing... let go of the fear! its going to be OK.
so excited for you!
Oh, wow!
ReplyDeleteHaving followed your story for so long, I cannot wait for your happy ending. I'll be en route from Canada back to the Netherlands on Monday, and will be anxiously awaiting reading updates!
I'm sorry that the plan hasn't ended up going according to your desired plan, but at least at the end of it you will have A Baby! Your very own baby in your arms...and that makes up for a lot of things.
Good luck and congratulations!
Congratulations!!! You have a date!!! Really, it doesn't matter which way she comes. Once you hold her, nothing else matters! Wishing you a fast and as pain-free as possible labor...
ReplyDeleteTry to relax a little this weekend and soak it in. It's happening.... Come Monday, your life is about to change in the best possible way {{hugs}}....
Mo, I think I've told you I had an external version @ 37w so that I wouldn't need a c-section (baby being breech), and then ~3 weeks after that I went into labor. 36 hours after that, much of it spent with a urinary catheter b/c I couldn't pee, my DS was born by c-section as I was still just 4 cm dilated.
ReplyDeleteIt mattered to me the day after (I was sad about needing the c-section; fortunately my wonderful midwife took her lunch hour to talk me through that), and hasn't mattered a lick since. I hope everything will be just as you want it to be, right up to and including your going into labor before Monday, but please know that (as with conception, and here too I speak from experience though not as extensive as yours) the details will fade away once your lovely Magpie is here.
My sister was induced with both pregnancies - and had vaginal deliveries both times. It can be done!
ReplyDeleteI had planned on a natural delivery, so when I had to be induced at 41w3d due to low fluid, I was prepared to go without an epidural and still have my natural delivery. My midwife and OB were amazing - though it was probably obvious to everyone by 6pm that night that my son wasn't budging, they still let me go until 4am before telling me it was time for a c-section. I tried (and made it until 11pm before getting an epidural), and I was disappointed but it helped so much knowing I gave it my all. My stubborn child didn't want to cooperate.
When I heard him cry for the first time, none of that mattered at all. Happiest moment of my entire life. And nothing else mattered after that.
Thinking of you, Will and Magpie!
So so so so so excited for you. Yay!! However she comes is the right way. Get baby here safely! I had 2 cesareans, loved them both and have very positive feelings about everything. Thinking great thoughts for you and Magpie!!
ReplyDeleteSo exciting, congratulations you're so close to meeting that precious babe!!! And although trust me I know it's hard (this is coming from a control freak myself) I've learned if it's one things babies teach us we can plan all we want they will come in their own way & most of the time that's not how we thought it would be. Perspective is everything and the thing to hold onto above all else is that you will soon be holding that beautiful baby in your arms & however that happens once you're feeling those first baby cuddles they're all that will matter. Thoughts & love to you as life is about to change in a wonderful way!!!
ReplyDeleteThe only birth plan that truly matters once your baby is born, is a healthy, alive baby.
ReplyDeleteJust wanted to add that it won't necessarily be quick after induction...just so you are aware. I was induced about a week earlier than you b/c of IUGR. It was about 40 hours from the start (cytotec, I think) until DD was born (started 8 am, pit that nite, doc brole waters next day). I thank the universe every day that my doc induced me. Baby's hb decelerated as soon as waters broke, so I had to change sides etc w/ each contraction. Turns out I had vci and Asa previa, both undiagnosed despite numerous high res MFM u/s. Thank goodness I was in a hospital under constant monitoring. If I had gone into labor at home very likely DD wouldn't be here. So I am so, so grateful I was induced.
ReplyDeleteCan't offer any childbirth advice - my daughter was adopted. So freakin' excited and happy for you!! The moment you meet your baby is pure magic!
ReplyDeleteAs I often say to Burrito and Tamale, "safety is the most important thing. We hope to be happy and to get what we want, but there is nothing more important than being safe."
ReplyDeleteEnjoy these last few days of being MoAndWill. Soon you will be MoAndWillAndMagpie and everything will be so different, for the rest of your life. And it will be wonderful.
Eek! I am so excited for you! Sending good thoughts to the universe for a smooth delivery.
ReplyDeleteI have been reading your blog for at least 3 years if not more!
ReplyDeleteI am so stinkin' excited for you!! You are gonna meet your sweet baby girl in just a few short days! Try to enjoy your last weekend of being momma to her on the inside and with will before you are her momma on the outside! Much love!
Can't wait to hear how it goes!
So so so happy for you! I have a four month old daughter, and I planned for a natural birth throughout my pregnancy. And then, a week after my due date, I learned that I would have to have a C-section (with about three hours notice). As I was trying to process it and deal with my disappointment, my midwife said the best words anyone has ever said to me: "If you can, try to focus on how exciting it is that you're about to meet your daughter."
ReplyDeleteYou know already that things never happen the way you expect them to. Just remember, as you go through your birthing experience, that the best thing you can do is let go of expectations. So many people have bad memories of their births because they didn't go the way they wanted them to, and I think it's so sad. Try to embrace the experience you have, whatever that experience ends up being. That's what my midwife's words made me do, and I'm so grateful to her. My daughter's birth was the exact opposite of what I wanted, but it was My Daughter's Birth! And I wouldn't change it for anything. Congratulations, Mo! Magpie's almost here!
It is momentous. But this time next week you'll have met your daughter for DAYS. Incredibly happy for you. Wishing you all the best and may you get everything you dreamt out of this experience.
ReplyDeleteWoo-hoo!! Less than 100 hours away. I have been constantly checking for an update from you.
ReplyDeleteIt's still possible that she could come of her own accord before then. But even if she doesn't, you will be so excited that she is here and so focused on her, that *how* she got here will fade into the background very quickly.
I agree with the others who have said about trying to let go of expectations and just embrace whatever will be. If it has to involve things you hoped it wouldn't, being disappointed over that won't add to the experience, it will only detract from it.
Look at it this way - there are a lot of things to come as she is growing up that won't go the way you hope they will go, so consider this to be practice for learning to let go of control and expectations... :-)
So exciting!
ReplyDeleteI mirror all the comments above. Before my baby was born, I had very precise rules for myself and for my baby. I had read all the books and I really thought that I could control how life would be after a baby.
Now, one year later, the days are chaotic and unpredictable, but as long as the three of us are smiling, then I'm happy.
I know that after so much technology to get Magpie to this place, you want to prove that your body can at least give birth and breastfeed.
You have nothing to improve. Please just enjoy the moments. Magpie's birthday is just around the corner.
Both/And Mo. An induction is disappointing and not what you expected or hoped for AND it will deliver your precious daughter into your arms safely and soon. (Hell, 5 days early is great news for the rest of us, because we are all bursting with anticipation up in here!)
ReplyDeleteAfter years of losses and IF, followed by a closely-monitored, high-risk pregnancy I was so determined to have my body do one thing related to pregnancy and birth the way "everyone else can." I was all set for an unmedicated birth with our beloved acupuncturist as our doula. Then moved to a planned c-section scheduled to coincide with my great-grandfather's birthday that then got changed to an unplanned c-section when we had some test results go wonky at the last minute, and had the baby on Leap Day, of all friggin' things.
Said baby is sleeping in front of me as I write this, and I couldn't be happier about how it all turned out, because he's here.
And in 4 days, Magpie will be here, too. And that's the best birth story I know.
Love to you, Mo.
Having gone from wanting just 1 baby to being pregnant with quads, terrified out of my mind, then lying in bed scared to even use the bathroom for months with several hospitalizations, then an emergency c-section due to hemorrhaging, then 80+ days in the NICU ... yeah, well, needless to say it wasn't what I expected at all. But guess what? It was THEIR story and and I wouldn't have it any other way because it got me to where I am today with 4 sweet children. And you will feel the same about Magpie no matter how many twists/turns come -- it will be her story, your story ... and it will be perfect because it is how you will first meet her and when you lock eyes that first time, there are no words for that perfection!
ReplyDeleteSo so excited for you. Focus on your excitement and savor it!
S exciting to know that long-expected Maggie will be out here soon!
ReplyDeleteMy story is different from yours, and I can't say that I have overwhelmingly positive feelings about all aspects of my son's birth. In the months following his arrival, I put the weight of much of what I was feeling onto things I hadn't done well enough (which is silly, but that's where I was), but with a little distance one the situation, I can see that the (avoidable) bad parts weren't bad because of interventions or anything about me; they were bad because of the attitude my OB took about the whole thing.
Your OB sounds wonderful and supportive and smart and kind. Of course it is normal that you are disappointed in the change of plans, and I don't mean to diminish that. But I am very hopeful that her positive, helpful attitude about the whole process will make your ultimate feelings about it good all the same. (I would very gently encourage you to think about whether dropping the word "natural" from your vocabulary in favor of less loaded terms might help. It did help me.)
Or maybe you'll just go into spontaneous labor this weekend and have an unmedicated, intervention-free birth anyway :)
You have already received so many wonderful comments. I really agree with what Sarah Fain already said.
ReplyDeleteWith my first baby, my labor started on my due date with my water breaking and there was thick meconium. After 26 hours of labor, I had to have an emergency C-section. Not what I had hoped for at all. But my son came out just fine after some initial scary moments.
I thought I might have a second chance with my second and was hoping for a VBAC, but nope, I had placenta previa and needed a non-emergency, but unplanned C-section at 37 weeks.
There is very little you can plan about all of this so just try to roll with the punches so that you're not left with disappointment later. Think about it, Mo. You're going to have a sweet little baby girl oh so soon. Focus on that and not how she enters this world. Much luck to you!
I'm so excited for you. I'm so happy the meeting with your miracle baby is just around the corner.
ReplyDeleteA little prayer to you and Magpie that your induction brings a healthy and safe delivery. And who knows you still have two more days to go naturally!
Those four days will come and go ever-so-quickly. Enjoy every moment together in the knowledge that this decision is probably best for Magpie. And in the end, that is what matters most... that she arrives safe and sound into your world, into your lives, into your arms. Induction doesn't necessarily mean that you cannot delivery vaginally; keep that in mind as well. But I am sure that after the struggles you've seen and handled, you will always choose what is best for Magpie. You're doing just that as I type! I will be waiting eagerly to read about her long-awaited arrival. I am so freakin' excited for you Mo, that I could pee with joy! YAY! *dances* You're on the cusp of an incredible, unforgettable moment in your lives. May it go as smoothly as possibly and may her arrival herald the start of a wonderful new life as parents of a sweet little girl! Keep us posted! Love to you and Will from me, Hubby and Petite.
ReplyDeleteAs everyone else has said, this will still be your story, even if there is an unexpected 'twist' of the induction-- you could still have the type of labor and delivery you want. Even if you don't, it will be Magpie's birthday and that will be one of the most wonderful days in your life. Congratulations Mo & Will, you will meet your daughter so very soon.
ReplyDeleteUnderstand your "disappointment"... but the end result will be so worth the sacrifice.... a take home baby Magpie. God's Blessings on you, Will and sweet baby girl :)
ReplyDeleteSo excited for you, Mo! It is hard to balance the want for natural versus letting medicalizedness (shh) seem like it's safer - sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't, and there's no way to know for sure until after the fact anyway. I hope that labor starts on its own and you can have the birth experience you want, but if not, in the end it will not at all diminish the wonderful experience you are about to have!
ReplyDeleteMo
ReplyDeleteWow - four days! May Magpie's birth be wonderful for you both as well as Will. I am sooo excited for you to meet your daughter
Muriel
Just keep your eyes on the prize, eyes on the prize. It doesn't matter how you get there, as long as Magpie is born healthy, how you get there is secondary. Nobody gets awards for how the give birth, or what you go through, so just listen to your docs and do what's best for you and Magpie both.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy your last weekend as a couple, do some couple-y things you won'e be able to in just a few short days.
I'm excited for you to meet her!! Can't wait to hear all about her. All my best wishes for you, Will and big sister Moxie too :)
So very excited for you to meet your little one. I know this isn't the way you wanted it to happen--we all dream of waking up our husbands with "honey it's time to go to the hospital!". But as you know that doesn't always happen. Make this experience your own by surrounding yourself with good people (like your doula and Will) and it will all turn out alright.
ReplyDeleteAll of my positive vibes will be coming your way on Monday!
ReplyDeleteGet over your plan! You're about to have the baby you've always dreamed of! Stop being so neurotic and full of yourself and just be happy! Wrap your head and heart around that!
ReplyDeleteJust focus on the outcome. The only thing about her birth is that you and Will will be snuggling her when it's over. How she gets out really isn't as important as the fact that she comes out.
ReplyDeleteMy infertility battle was simple in comparrison to yours. Two fresh IVF cycles and, bam, pregnant with a healthy baby. 39+weeks later (so 41w2d, she was induced). I went in to the hospital figuring that if it took a team of drs to get her in there, it might just take a team to get her out... it did, she had no intention of coming out any other way.
I have no regrets about how my one and only shot went.
You have been a high achiever all your life, and is it possible that some of your disappointment here is related to need for "achievement" ? There's no achieve or fail here, it just is what it is and yours and your baby's story will unfold in its own way. Be easy on yourself, try to reframe if possible, and all the best for a joyful birth! It won't be long now :-) Cheers.
ReplyDeleteThe best birth plan is "leave hospital with live baby". You can and should grieve all the interventions that you've suffered, but finally, the prize is within reach!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations! From someone who experienced a delivery that wasn't AT ALL what I wanted to happen, do your best to let go of how you WANT it to happen and focus on having a healthy baby, by whatever means it takes to get the HEALTHY part. Best of luck! I'm excited for you!
ReplyDeleteso hard to let go of what you envision. yet I know I don't need to say that of course the vision is healthy baby, healthy mama.
ReplyDeletestill, I understand how hard it is to face a new plan. when I finally became pregnant with such high risk, the plan changed weekly. then we finally settled on the Final Plan. then even that changed. she had to be delivered a week earlier, stay a week longer, etc. it's hard.
wishing you a positive birth experience you can still own and embrace, even if the plan is not yours. and sending so much love to you and little magpie as she begins her journey!
Oh, I just posted in your most recent blog post but forgot another point to make....I echo everyone else who is saying that it is okay if the birth isn't exactly as you had planned. The most important thing is having a happy and healthy baby. It won't matter how Magpie gets here....just that she gets here safe and sound. Heather
ReplyDeleteJust wanted to wish you a safe and speedy delivery from one of your followers. I will be thinking good thoughts for the four of you tomorow ( I have to include the dog, as her world changes too!)
ReplyDeleteIt's now Monday morning! You are all in my thoughts. Wishing you an amazing day today.
ReplyDelete