Hi folks - nothing super impressive going on over here. We are currently in the Denver airport about to catch our flight back to NYC. Slight mechanical problem, so we're a bit delayed, giving me time to post.
My wonderful hubby Will took me shoe shopping yesterday (because there is nothing a good pair of new shoes can't cure or at least help with). After that, he drove us to Vail where we looked at the snow-covered mountains and beautiful skier and snowboarder people (and their dogs - so many gorgeous snow-loving dogs!). We had a lovely lunch and low-key walk around Vail Village. Made me want to go skiing. Not right now, mind you, but well, in different circumstances. Nice to see so much snow out in Denver since the Northeast has been so deficient this year.
In terms of two week wait symptoms...I wouldn't say I feel nothing. I definitely think I am maybe occasionally feeling very slight cramping. Got that? It's a definite maybe. It's awfully subtle. Trying to not drive myself crazy with this. There have been cycles in the past where I felt what I can almost term as uterine "construction" feelings going on that were very reassuring, and at least so far, that's not happening. But it's not a total dead zone down there either. The faintness of the sensations, though - and their transient nature - makes it hard to know if my perceptions are just what I would typically feel if I hyperattuned to my sensations or whether there is anything else afoot. Ah well.
At airport security, they wanted me to go through their fancy millimeter-wave body scan machine, which I didn't want to do. (No room in my already neurotic brain for any crazymaking thoughts that I somehow doomed the implantation process by exposing myself to millimeter waves!)
So I opted for the manual pat down and explosives wipe.
Which should have been no problem...
except for the small fact that I tested positive for explosives.
Yup.
So I ended up getting all my belongings checked and wiped for explosives and an errrmmmmm, more "thorough" pat down in a private room from two lovely female TSA agents.
Which thankfully I passed. Otherwise I had visions of them shutting down the entire terminal as they did...well, actually....don't know what they would have done in that case.
Not sure what set off the machine. Maybe something in my estrogen patches? Or in the ethyl oleate from the progesterone in oil? (I'm using that every other day to supplement my Endometrin suppositories.). Who knows.
I'm still hoping that maybe I will feel something more definitive in terms of implantation sensations soon. There have been times in past two week waits that I felt like a line of condos was being put up in my uterus...but then before my natural pregnancies, I never knew I was pregnant before testing at all...(or maybe had an idea a day before testing. Maybe.) So I know anything is possible. Trying to keep an open mind and not torture myself one way or another. All of your reports on what you did or didn't feel was very helpful, by the way. It doesn't completely make the crazy go away, but it reminds me that whatever I am or am not feeling, I am definitely not at game over yet. Nowhere even close.
Wait...was that something in my uterus? A slight cramp?
There it was again...possibly.
Oh wait, it's gone.
Maybe it was my imagination.
Or maybe it was just gas.
Sigh.
Mo
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Yay for explosives-positive Mo! Glad you had a nice relaxing day of shoe shopping & Vail-watching. I miss Colorado ski towns even though me on skis is a thing which strikes terror into the hearts of all around me. But the ski towns--ah! Also glad you're on your way home. Though I do wish your home were a lot closer to my home. I miss you. Thinking of you sort of constantly these days.
ReplyDeleteSounds lovely Mo - I am jealous that you got a day to relax before coming back. We're heading straight back after bedrest, which is kinda boring. And I have never even thought about the implications of going through a scanner before - but maybe I should! Hopefully I won't test positive for explosives though...it's probably all of the hormones we ladies are giving off, that stuff is potentially explosive for sure ;-)
ReplyDeleteBetween you, Aunt Becky, and my friend Kristi, y'all seem to have a lock on the wild and weird TSA stories. I think I'm jealous.
ReplyDeleteHere's hoping those twinges are the first signs of something wonderful.
I analyze every twinge, real or imagined, during the 2 week wait, it's so hard not too. Fingers crossed for you!
ReplyDeleteNow testing positive for explosives... I never would've seen that coming! Maybe it's a good sign that you've got another positive that's going to come soon...!
ReplyDeleteThe 2ww is so stressful--particularly when every cycle represents so many thousands of dollars. I've definitely had that "uterus under construction" feeling several times and it was nice because it's so reassuring, but this most recent cycle I didn't have it at all. Just very mild cramping. I think either scenario is pretty normal. Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteI can't believe that you tested positive for explosives! I know it wasn't funny at the time, but I hope you can have a good laugh about it later! Also, it's a great story for the grandkids someday! =)
ReplyDeleteGood Luck and I'm hoping and praying for implantation, a BFP, and a healthy pregnancy! =)
Hi... here from Cyclesistas :)) Joining the list for this month while doing IVF #3+... wonderful that you just had your transfer and FXd for you. I have a private blog {via newyearmum2.blogspot.com}, but happy for other IF/ART bloggers to join - just email me via my updater blog :) Good luck for your cycle and great to be cycling with you xoxo
ReplyDeleteThe TWW is the worst because every twingle, cramp or lack there of could mean good things. Everytime and every person is so different, but it's still hard not to compare and wonder and analyze. Try to relax and just do stuff for you the whole time :)
ReplyDeleteVail is beautiful. I'm glad you and Will got to enjoy some of the winter wonderland scene!
ReplyDeleteFWIW, I'd also typically felt more "activity" during all of my previous transfers that wound up with BFPs. This time around, at 4dp5dt, all I'd felt was some very, very light sensations that felt kind of like a kitten kneading super gently on the inside of my uterus. I remember feeling that and thinking "There's no way that's a strong enough sensation to be a successful implantation!"
I also only had to get up once a night to go to the bathroom, when typically in the past I'd had to get up two or three times a night. So this cycle wound up being very different in terms of the pre-beta experience - and apparently that was a good thing given how it's going so far.
Here's hoping the same will prove true in your case...
I'm with those hoping the "testing positive for explosives" (what the heck!?) is a good sign.
ReplyDeleteIsn't Vail beautiful? I'm glad you got a chance to rest and walk around.
ReplyDeleteI totally would have done the same thing with those weird scanners. I went through one and pretty much don't believe them that it didn't affect the pregnancy.
I don't remember if I felt pregnant. And as I'm waiting, probably for a negative beta, I still don't. Most of my symptoms didn't start till 6 weeks for the 2 pregnancies I had past that point.
I'm sending you lots of good wishes and baby dust!! I'm so hoping this cycle works for you. But like me, you're totally a planner and I love that you're multitasking too. Praying that it would all be for naught and that these little ones decide to stick.
xoxo