I was looking back through my old "two week wait" posts from my (gulp) six previous transfers and found this post from IVF #5, which expressed a sentiment I'd like to keep firmly in mind and wanted to share out loud as well.
It talks about trying to just stay in the now. And so, reading this, I am reminded to try to take a moment and recenter myself when I start to go straight into the crazy places in my mind.
Recentering looks something like this...
Asking myself: What do I know right now?
Right now is about honoring possibility.
Right now is about not trying to predict the outcome either way and instead just focusing on the three blastocysts inside of me, just now as they are, not as they babies they might become, or the failure that might ensue, but just as they are now.
As I wrote back then in 2009, "At this moment in time, and for the coming week, I have the possibility that I might be pregnant...For this moment, at least, I am tuning in to what is true right now. I am honoring the possibility...that maybe there is life inside me."
Here's to that thought and that intention. To staying in the moment, right now, right here, 4dp5dt. This possibility, this in-between place is the only thing that is really true.
The rest of my thoughts are just hopes and fears.
Here's to staying in the moment.
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