Thursday, October 14, 2010

Hope cycles and Colorado recommendations/prohibitions


It is 6dp5dt and my hope seems to have diminished - am now feeling decidedly unpregnant. No crampiness, and at the moment every other symptom is seemingly potentially medication-related. Sigh. It's almost like a circadian rhythm, this hopefulness/hopelessness cycling upward and downward. When I think of my hope, I visualize Megan's lovely hope-o-meter, with my hope going up and then back down again precipitously. Will and I decided not to test (or at least not to look) until tomorrow morning, just to save ourselves any needless grief. We will use a First Response Early Result Test at that time. Gulp.

In a weird way, I am relieved to know I can still feel hope - even tenuously and intermittently - as the feeling of hope has been in such short supply since our fifth miscarriage. This two week wait is the first time I've really felt that maybe we could succeed, really been able to connect with that inside myself emotionally, rather than in just an intellectual way. I'm glad to know I'm still capable of allowing for the possibility of success. That may not make much sense to those who haven't walked in our shoes, but I guess the many consecutive disappointments have taken their toll.

As promised, here are a few details about my Colorado FET prep and their post-transfer recommendations. These are just some of the things that stick out in my mind since they differ from my prior clinic.

First, I started an anti-inflammatory/anti-allergy cocktail two days before transfer that they've used for some women with recurrent miscarriage. It consists of:
10 mg prednisone once a day
10 mg Claritin once a day
20 mg Pepcid in morning and at night

Also, because they diagnosed me with a blood flow restriction to my uterus, I have been advised to have no caffeine, no chocolate, and not even decaff coffee/tea or cola for the month prior to transfer or after transfer. In addition, they prescribed 2x/week electro acupuncture protocol to increase uterine blood flow.

They have acupuncturists come into the transfer room and do a 25-minute treatment just prior to and just after the transfer (acupuncturists are not allowed to come to my old clinic).

No acupuncture is advised after this, though, not during the 2ww or at any time in pregnancy (except for nausea) - as my nurse has said they have found a slight increase in miscarriage rates.

The Colorado clinic requires 48 hours of bedrest after transfer, which is much different than my old clinic's half hour rest and then back to usual activities.

Those are the major differences that come to mind. Let me know if you had specific other questions and I'll try to respond in the comments section.

If wishing could make pregnancy happen, we would have succeeded so many times over by now.

We'll see what tomorrow brings. Thanks for hanging in there with us as we wait.

Mo

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26 comments:

  1. Ahhh, yes, the HopeMeter.
    I do think it says something that we are able to dig down deep and still find hope, because hope is a beautiful thing. We're all holding onto it for you, too.

    And you're not going to believe this, but really, on a Wednesday night, I went to see our community theater do RENT (which is why I'm propping my eyelids open today--I'm too old to go out late on a worknight!). And there it was, that beautiful theme: no day but today. Today you are pregnant. Today there is hope.

    Everything is crossed :)

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  2. Crossing my fingers and toes for you! Good luck tomorrow! Keep us posted.

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  3. sending you LOTS and LOTS of good luck for tomorrow's test!!! How your body feels right now really is no indication of whether or not you are pregnant, so don't give up!

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  4. Thanks for the tips...my FET is slated for November 1st. First e2 draw was this morning with another e2 and ultrasound next Thursday. SOO hoping tomorrow's POAS-a-thon will show a BFP!!!!!! Thinking of you.

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  5. I am so glad that you do still have it in you to hope. That bodes well, I think.

    Symptoms this early are really hit or miss; some women get some, and some don't have any real noticeable symptoms for a while yet.

    In whatever case, I'm crossing fingers, holding thumbs and praying hard that you get fantastic news tomorrow.

    When is beta anyway?

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  7. Emily, Thanks for the encouraging words. Beta would be Sunday, but my local clinic doesn't do beta testing on weekends. So if I'm not home testing positive by then, I'll know it's a bust, but serum beta results will be in Monday afternoon.

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  8. Hope can be a beautiful thing, when you're ready and open to it. Other times, it's just as lovely when others hold on to yours when you can't. You have lots of people holding your hope today, if you're not feeling quite as up to it.

    Good luck tomorrow morning! ♥

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  9. I'm crossing everything and hoping with all my hope that this is IT for you. You are doing so well, don't lose hope yet. I'm keeping my monitor at "full" for you!

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  10. My first cycle I had just a touch of heartburn, no cramps, no breast tenderness. My second cycle I didn't feel jack. "Real" symptoms didn't kick in for me until I was weeks past the positive beta. Please don't judge too much by that at this point.

    There is always hope to be found somewhere - I'll give you mine. :)

    Hang on guys! Waiting anxiously with ya...

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  11. Waiting right along with you Mo....Thinking of you...

    Sunshine

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  12. Thank the universe for hope, tenuous and fleeting as it sometimes is. Without the ability to summon hope where would be be.

    Waiting along with you and pulling for a positive outcome.

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  13. Oh good luck! I pray you get good news tomorrow.

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  14. Fingers crossed and holding hope with you.

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  15. Waiting with you Mo. Hang in there, odds have GOT to be in your favor SOMETIME!!! Best of luck.

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  16. Wishing you all the very best! Hope I read a happy post from you tomorrow.

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  17. Good luck tomorrow, saying a ton of prayers in TX!

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  18. God Mo
    OK
    I'll be thinking of you tomorrow morning
    and
    hoping for a wonderful surprise positive.
    I hate the anticipation, and hope that somehow you sleep.
    xxoo kate

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  19. Good Luck, Good Luck!!!!! All is crossed for you. HOPE for you that is A BIG BFP!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I BELIEVE in CCRM

    Everything crossed for you

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  20. Still thinking of you Mo. Living life inside the hope yo-yo is definitely exhausting and I think you are doing great! Hang in there.

    I'm kind of pleased to hear what you wrote about the acupuncture as my acu lady has always said that it should be done just before and straight after transfer too and that it should not be done while pregnant if at all possible. I always thought this last part was a bit weird because I assumed it would be good to get the acupuncture 'zen' at any day of the year. So it's comforting to hear that you've been advised similar things.

    You can do this Mo, I am so hanging on a thread here hoping for the best for you. (((hugs)))

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  21. Still thinking of you Mo. Living life inside the hope yo-yo is definitely exhausting and I think you are doing great! Hang in there.

    I'm kind of pleased to hear what you wrote about the acupuncture as my acu lady has always said that it should be done just before and straight after transfer too and that it should not be done while pregnant if at all possible. I always thought this last part was a bit weird because I assumed it would be good to get the acupuncture 'zen' at any day of the year. So it's comforting to hear that you've been advised similar things.

    You can do this Mo, I am so hanging on a thread here hoping for the best for you. (((hugs)))

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  22. Good luck today with the testing. Thinking of you...

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  23. Since it is getting on to 5am here in NY my thoughts are with you since you could be holding that test right now. I am hoping this is it for you.

    As for the transfer room.... the laws in NY suck. It made me sad that DH wasn't allowed in at all as well. :( You have me convinced I should at least talk to ccrm again at least for the saizen.

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  24. hang in there and try not to freak out - it takes time. Mrs I felt nothing during the 2 weeks

    Dad squared

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  25. Thinking of two things
    YOU
    and
    that my frigging positive was not positive until later (day 14?).
    Here's hoping with every fiber of my being that you'll get your second line.
    xoxo
    Kate

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  26. Mo- how long did/do you take the anti-inflammatory cocktail for?

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