Monday, May 25, 2009

New beta result

Just heard from the nurse. "Well, your beta didn't exactly double," she began, "but the doctor wants you to stay on the progesterone and come back on Wednesday."

I think she might have left it at that, but my mind was reeling. Didn't exactly double???? What does that mean??!!

"Can you tell me the number?"

So she did.

It's 13dp3dt and the number, deep sigh, is 36. Talk about not doubling. I'd call it dropping.

Not sure why I'm staying on the progesterone. I'd guess it's in case of a miracle.

I've been having a lot of pain in my lower left side. It has crossed my mind that this might be/have been an ectopic.

Don't know what to say. At the moment, I feel....nothing. Just a little dead inside.

Mo

Add to Google Reader or Homepage Subscribe in NewsGator Online Subscribe in Bloglines Add to My AOL

66 comments:

  1. Mo, I am sorry. I wish I could say something more profound that sums up how terrible I feel for you. Sending love.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh no. I'm so sorry. There are no words.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Fuck just about says it.
    But not quite.
    Darn gods were NOT listening to me at all, were they? I am so so sorry. What the hell. Proving once again that this has nothing to do with fairness or what is right. Oh Mo, I am so sorry. I hate this more than I can say. Sending warm wishes to you, and, once again,wishing I were magical. If I were, things Would be different.
    Warmly, Kate

    ReplyDelete
  4. Aw crap. This sucks honey. I am not giving up all hope entirely for you. I'm just hoping that things turn around. And FAST. Sending you both lots of hugs.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I hate this for you and I am so sick of this for you. I am so sorry. I will be thinking of you and Will.

    ReplyDelete
  6. So utterly devastating. I've been holding my breath with you these past few weeks and this latest news is just soul destroying.

    I'm thinking of you. Lots. And holding you in my heart.

    ReplyDelete
  7. There are no words other than the sinking in my heart and the knot in my stomach at this news. Take care of yourself and Will, too.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I am so very sorry to hear this news -- I really hoped this was it for you. Take good care of yourself. We are all thinking of you.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Making the blog rounds today... just wanted to let you know I stopped by.
    *hugs*
    heather
    http://tighteningthecorsetagain.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  10. That sucks. No good words other than that. I'm so sorry for both of you. Will keep everyone in our thoughts ...

    ReplyDelete
  11. I wish there were better words that can express it (other then the string of curses that can be heard at my desk). Sending you lots of hugs today, hang in there.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Oh goddamnit. I am so very very sorry. Sitting here with tears in my eyes. I wanted this to be different. I wanted this for you so badly. You're in my thoughts, both of you. Take care.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I am so sorry. many hugs to you both.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Oh no.

    I'm so sorry if this doesn't work out.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Mo, WTF kind of thing is it to say "didn't exactly double"? Uggh! I'm so terribly sorry. My RE always had me stay on PIO too even when my beta dropped, but it always made me upset. Thinking of you and Will and sending strength!

    ReplyDelete
  16. I'm so sorry. I just don't understand the world anymore.

    ReplyDelete
  17. So sorry.
    So cruel.
    So unfair.
    So disappointing.

    Thinking of you and wishing for a surprising twist of fate.

    ReplyDelete
  18. My heart hurts for you. I am sorry to hear this news Mo.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Oh, no no no. I'm so sorry to hear this. I've got no words except to say that I'm thinking of you.

    ReplyDelete
  20. I'm so sorry Mo. Sometimes I wonder when things are going to easier. I mean, why does the universe let you feel excited about a bfp for just a little bit then pull the rug out from under you? I hate that you have to suffer this crap. Hugs and more hugs.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Oh, Mo....

    SO sorry for the both of you...

    g

    ReplyDelete
  22. Oh Mo...I am so very sorry to hear this. You & Will are certainly in my thoughts.

    ReplyDelete
  23. I wish I had something to say other than I am so sorry--seems so inadequate and is...
    sending lots of cyber hugs your way...

    ReplyDelete
  24. I'm so sorry sweetie! I'm holding you and Will in my warm, loving thoughts.

    ReplyDelete
  25. No! Mo, I am so very sorry. This is just so unfair. A million ((HUGS)) to you and Will.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Mo, I dont know what to say. Im so sorry. I am thinking of you and praying that things start to look up!

    ReplyDelete
  27. I'm so sorry - I was so hoping this would be the cycle for you guys. Sending you both hugs and love.

    ReplyDelete
  28. I am so so sorry. I don't even know you IRL, but I wish that I could give you a hug. Your post on my blog about my loss meant a lot to me. I hope that our words of comfort can help ease the pain just a little bit. Big hugs honey!!

    ReplyDelete
  29. Oh man this was not what I wanted to read. I don't know what to say except "I'm sorry". ((HUGS))

    ReplyDelete
  30. Mo, I am hoping there is still a chance for this pregnancy. Hang in there till Wednesday xxx

    ReplyDelete
  31. I am so very sorry Mo and Will - I will keeping all fingers and toes crossed that a positive outcome is imminent but also sending healing vibes if it isn't.

    Too unfair for words...

    Jen

    ReplyDelete
  32. dear mo and will, sending you love.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Sending you my love. I am so very sorry.

    Kami

    ReplyDelete
  34. So Sorry...I don't comment much, but I do come around to your blog...I am awfully sad that this is happening.

    Hugs.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Mo, I just got caught up with your last few posts. I'm so sorry to read this latest result. Big hugs to you.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Oh no. I'm so very sorry. It's so unfair.

    ReplyDelete
  37. My heart sank when I read this post. I am so, so sorry.

    ReplyDelete
  38. I am so incredibly sorry. That is horrible news.

    ReplyDelete
  39. I'm so sorry, Mo. I'll be keeping you and Will in my thoughts and prayers.

    ReplyDelete
  40. I am just so angry at the universe for this. Thinking of you both.

    ReplyDelete
  41. me again, just sending love.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you.

    ReplyDelete
  43. No, no, no, no, no!

    I can't believe it - I was SOOO sure this was the one

    Sending you big hugs........

    ReplyDelete
  44. Damn. I'm hoping for your miricle. A friend does have a four year old from a beta that dropped, so it ca. Happen, but I think if it were me I'd just shut down too.

    ReplyDelete
  45. Huge, huge hugs to you and Will, Mo. To say this sucks incredible amounts of a$$ is an understatement. Take care of each other.....

    Hang in there....wishing you both some peace.

    And I don't know why that just took me 5 tries to type "peace" instead of "pez". Well, I dunno. Pez may help more than some things...

    Thinking of you both.

    ReplyDelete
  46. shit...I'm sorry. there's nothing even remotely adequate I can say, no comfort to offer, not even cold. I "hope" you get that miracle. but if you're anything like me...they're few and very very far between.

    sending you some hang in there hugs.

    ReplyDelete
  47. "I'm sorry" is once again painfully inadequate. But I am sorry and so profoundly saddened by this news. I'm sending you peace and hope.

    ReplyDelete
  48. I am so sorry. Nothing I can think of to say begins to say how much it sucks.

    ReplyDelete
  49. thinking of you tonight.

    ReplyDelete
  50. So sorry Mo. This just sucks. I hate this for you.

    At least (the very least) your dissertation is in and you don't have to be dealing with that too. Sending hugs your way.

    ReplyDelete
  51. I'm so, so sorry. I'm so, so sorry.

    ReplyDelete
  52. Oh no - this is just awful and so not fair. I'm very, very sorry :(

    ReplyDelete
  53. I'm here from Lisa's blog (meinsideout). Just wanted to let you know one more person out in the blogosphere sends you hugs and is rooting for that miracle.

    ReplyDelete

What do YOU think?

Related Posts with Thumbnails

Popular Posts