It's been a long wait today...after the long wait over the weekend. Been trying to distract and not let my head go to dark places.
Results are in. I don't think they are good, but the Denver nurse was very positive about it.
Today's HCG came back at 64.3
That's a doubling time of 62 hours, or every 2 days and 14 hours, a 70.4% rise.
Estrogen is 1,103
Progesterone 13.0 (which means I'll be upping the PIO dose to 1.5cc starting tomorrow morning.
Denver nurse says they are happy with anything that is above a 66% rise, but I dunno.
I feel like I'm waiting for the end already, which is a bummer, since we're just at the beginning. Thursday's number will be critical to see what happens. She says sometimes the beta starts off like this and then just shoots up. I guess we'll pray that that's us.
But every time I've been in a beta situation like this, I've ended up with a miscarriage.
I would love to hear if any of you have positive stories to share.
I feel awful. Which is odd, since the nurse was so upbeat.
Sigh.
Mo
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Results are in. I don't think they are good, but the Denver nurse was very positive about it.
Today's HCG came back at 64.3
That's a doubling time of 62 hours, or every 2 days and 14 hours, a 70.4% rise.
Estrogen is 1,103
Progesterone 13.0 (which means I'll be upping the PIO dose to 1.5cc starting tomorrow morning.
Denver nurse says they are happy with anything that is above a 66% rise, but I dunno.
I feel like I'm waiting for the end already, which is a bummer, since we're just at the beginning. Thursday's number will be critical to see what happens. She says sometimes the beta starts off like this and then just shoots up. I guess we'll pray that that's us.
But every time I've been in a beta situation like this, I've ended up with a miscarriage.
I would love to hear if any of you have positive stories to share.
I feel awful. Which is odd, since the nurse was so upbeat.
Sigh.
Mo
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Posts
Mo, I would say that things are progressing well. That beta doubling rates are good and that P4 is on the rise are both good indicators. You know that FET beta values can vary wildly and often start lower than with a fresh transfer.
ReplyDeleteHere is the beta progression from my success FET:
Beta #4, 20dp3dt 3,939
Beta #3, 16dp3dt 777.8
Beta#2, 12dp3dt 125.7
Beta #1, 10dp3dt 48.4
I believe the next beta value will be more telling. Hang in there. Breathe.
thanks for this - so so helpful.
DeleteDon't borrow trouble for now. You are pregnant and the doctors are seeing the numbers that they want to see. It must be very difficult to believe based on your past history ... but try just for today. And lots of hugs for Magpie. There is always Magpie ....
ReplyDeleteMy very best to you. xo Kathryn
I've been hugging magpie extra tight.
DeleteSo sorry the results weren't more definitive, but I'm not counting this one out yet. xoxo
ReplyDeletethanks, dora. i appreciate it.
DeleteStay strong Mo. I know it's hard with your history but my RE always said 66 percent rise or more as well.
ReplyDeleteMy betas were always in that range with 4 kids and 2 losses. So yes, as long as it's going up at a constant rate. I do agree the next beta may paint a better picture as to what's going on.
Fingers crossed! Hang in there little one!
Kel
thanks, kel!
DeleteWell, my pregnancy with Tiny Boy was, uhh, wonky, with confirmed vanishing twin.
ReplyDeleteBut I had betas that didn't double over FOUR days and a kid who is going on four. It didn't look anything like my pregnancy with LG, which had higher-than-twin betas. But still, it worked.
I wouldn't have bought a story like this until it was my own... wishing good things for that embryo and for you, some peace.
gwinne - thanks for reminding me about tiny boy. that really helps.
DeleteHang in there, I think this is great! We did FET at CCRM 5 years ago. My first beta was 30. Second beta was 50. Not until 21dpt did my beta top 200. We have a precious 4 year old who needs to be picked up from childcare soon. Congratulations! I'm cheering for you!
ReplyDeletethis is AWESOME. Thank you for sharing your story. really gives me some hope.
DeleteI can certainly understand your feelings of dread, given your history. . . but if the clinic is happy, then maybe you should be.
ReplyDeleteI know that FETs can often result in later implantation (I don't even pretend to understand the science behind this; have just seen it happen to loads of women over the years), and that could be the reason for the slower-rising betas. Plus, I don't want to give you false hope but I do know lots of people who have had low or slow-rising betas that resulted in successful pregnancies and live births.
As you know, only time will tell for sure, and ugh, the waiting just stinks. I'm sorry you're going through that.
thanks, S. I appreciate your thoughts and the reminder that I just have to give it time.
DeleteI don't have a personal experience to share with you, but I think especially in pregnancies, they're all different and you can't compare. For now, you're pregnant!
ReplyDeletethank you!
DeleteAw Mo. I dont have much advice on the betas. I want to tell you to take the nurses optimism and hold onto hope. But reality is, I would probably be feeling very much like you are. Hang in there.
ReplyDeleteWill you repeat the beta Thursday?
My HCG started out at 18 on 14dpo (clomid cycle). It doubled very slowly-similar to yours. I have a happy, healthy 3-month old baby boy. Don't give up hope!
ReplyDeleteMy doubling rates were similar this last time, never doubled in 48 or less, so I was constantly sure it was over. And I'm pregnant with twins. Here were my stats:
ReplyDelete8dp5dt: beta 103, 9dp5dt:
beta 135 (61 hr doubling time) 12dp5dt: beta 327 (56 hr doubling time) 14dp5dt: beta 599 (54 hr doubling time) 18dp5dt: beta 2147 (52 hr doubling time)
thanks, marianne - this is helpful!
DeleteWell, on the one hand, you are your own statistical universe at this point, and are going to know your history in a way that no nurse ever (likely) can. She's working averages; you are not average.
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand, you've never transferred embryos with quite this profile before. By which I mean that I would not at all be surprised if embryos that initially developed a little more slowly than average take longer than usual to implant and ramp up. And I would be surprised if having three embryos around wasn't causing SOME sort of issue with test results -- I was actually remembering gwinne's story when I first read your entry.
Afraid I don't have any "wonky betas that turned into take-home babies" stories to share. Though I well remember hearing at my first ultrasound at 6w0d that one of my embryos had a great heart rate of 110 bpm, while the other hand a just-above-threatened-miscarriage rate of 90 bpm. RE seemed utterly unconcerned about the latter fact. I spent the next week trying to convince myself that we at least had an excellent chance of having one actual baby, and that I should stop feeling an awful sense of dread. Didn't help. In the end, Miss 110 bpm was indeed a keeper…while Miss 90 bpm is currently sitting right next to her demanding a cookie. Sometimes the optimism of RE types is justified!
Fingers crossed that the next beta shows a powerful increase. And also, aren't you glad you didn't listen to those people who questioned your decision to transfer all three embryos? :)
Very well put. Mo, you're not average, and you know it. But remember that when you regularly inhabit the tails of a (population) distribution, you also arguably have far less knowledge about your own personal distribution--so while 7 or 8 data points might feel like a lot, it really isn't. And hence while a slow rise might indicate a lower probability of reaching live birth for a more-normal person, for you? I think we have no more predictive information than when you got that first faint line.
DeleteBeta hell is aptly named. (And fwiw, my therapist prescribes a LOT of TV for times like this: distract, distract, distract!)
I wish you rest and hope for tonight. So hard to not know what exactly will happen. I wish there was a magic pill that could turn uncertainty into hope. :/ Hugs to all of you.
ReplyDeleteBeta hell is the worst. The absolute worst. The reality is, there are many babies born from slowly doubling betas, and many super fantastic doublers that didn't make it. It's all a crap shoot. I hope things become more obvious on Thursday so you have a better feeling for which way this is headed. I, of course, am hoping for happy news. Hang in there.
ReplyDeleteAgreed completely, actually sometimes it seems like those overachieving super doubling betas don't end well just as often as a beta that takes 60-72 hours to double. And mine were higher and doubled more quickly with my singleton than with twins which makes no logical sense to me. So going up is what is important!!!
DeleteMy miscarriage had way better betas than my two singleton pregnancies that ended up in good pregnancies. They were much slower to double and my progesterone was way lower too.
Deletethanks, amber! that helps to hear.
Deletethanks lisa and marianne : )
DeleteThinking of you. This is the worst of times. Damn, I hate this part. Fingers crossed, feeling cautiously optimistic, because, well, I think those numbers warrant cautious optimism. Here's hoping for more definitive optimistic feelings in another couple of days. Hang in there.
ReplyDeletethanks, susan. always.
DeleteMy beta didn't double in the beginning with my son from 5dt. It went from 46 to 78 and then doubled finally at the next beta: I have had 6 losses and know the feeling of beta hell. Thoughts and prayers with you!
ReplyDeletethis is helpful - thank you!
DeleteNo words of wisdom, just out here hoping for you and ladybug onesies.
ReplyDelete: )
DeleteYou've talked about this cycle as being about regret management (in part). So the fact that you definitely have implantation and rising betas means that you've done everything possible to create a comfy environment for the embryos. Whether or not the embryos have what it takes to continue to grow and develop is unknown and unknowable at this point. Chromosomally normal embryos can fail to develop; chromosomally abnormal embryos can turn into happy and healthy 11-year olds like the one who is sleeping upstairs at our house. So try to listen to the nurse and enjoy being pregnant for now. You don't need to have hope -- you can just have love for the little pre-flicker of life within. Sending prayers for a strong beta for Thursday.
ReplyDeletethank you for your thoughts.
DeleteThinking of you Mo. It can be all ok, just like the nurse said. Hang in there.
ReplyDeleteI hope so much that this works out for you. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
thanks, lindsay. your next ultrasound is coming up, isn't it? fingers crossed for you.
Deletemo, thanks for sharing all of these updates...
ReplyDeleteI am checking in a lot because this is such a tough time for you...
I don't know. if it were me, I would be expecting a chemical or a regular m/c.
for me, low betas have meant just that.
I think you feel awful because that is what they have meant for you too.
but who the hell knows.
the nurse's enthusiasm doesn't mean anything.
your dread doesn't mean anything.
just like one of the above comments said, the spark has to in the embryo,
and that ship has already sailed...
you will know more on Thursday.
i'll be thinking of you. your mind must be all over the place,
and your heart too. I hope you have some time and space to fully process all of your thoughts and feelings.
I hope I didn't sound like too much of a bummer. just trying to relate.
I have been there. there is so much work involved getting to this point,
and getting these low betas is not fun.
I remember hearing about my CCRM peers coming in with betas like in the 3-4-500's, and mine were always so spare in comparison.
keep posting! hoe do the pee sticks look?
you're right - the proof is in the pudding. the embryo has what it takes or it doesn't. you don't sound like too much of a bummer at all. more like you have stood in my shoes. thanks for stopping by. I haven't peed on any sticks. too depressing right now. perhaps I will in the morning. not sure.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
Deletestay strong, lovely woman.
ReplyDeletethanks, augusta. I appreciate your words.
DeleteJust dropping in to say that all is crossed over here. Thinking of you, friend!
ReplyDeletethank you. your words help!
Deletemo I am miraculously and shockingly 19 weeks pregnant with my 2nd after two very strange losses (one molar and one heterotopic). In all cases my betas looked normal to low. Even the "twins". One day at a time. I know how crazy you are going. Just make a list in your head and cross things off. Next stop is one more beta then the heartbeat.
ReplyDeleteHang in there. Signed a long time reader - Amy
thanks, amy. congrats on your pregnancy!
DeleteHave you taken any more FRERs?
ReplyDeletei haven't peed on any kind of stick. Too afraid : (
DeleteWhile your betas are very low, I'm keeping everything crossed for you, Mo. I had a chemical before I got pregnant with my daughter and had a 50-something beta, then down to 25 two days later, so I get it. Please try to enjoy it for as long as it lasts and I'll continue keeping everything crossed for you!
ReplyDeletethanks, good reminder. i'll try to savor the pregnancy for now.
DeleteI just saw your post. I will keep my fingers crossed for you. I know you want to protect your heart. I hope your results come in early tomorrow so you don't have to wait too long. Take care.
ReplyDeletethanks, nepsi
DeleteNew reader here. Oh wow, a blog that's still active. I'm googling things like "9dt3dt symptoms" today and I always seem to find blogs from 2008 or 2011 or something. Wishing you all the best. /MN from Scandinavia
ReplyDeletethank you!
DeleteLong time lurker— I had an FET where my beta at 16DPO was 47. I thought it was over! I flew out of town for the weekend and was about to have a consoling glass of red wine when I took one more pregnancy test and watch the line get really dark, fast. Needless to say, that little embryo just walked in the door from Kindergarten. Hang in there and hoping you see a nice rise tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteanonymous, that helps! hoping to follow in your footsteps!
DeleteSending you good and calming thoughts. No words of wisdom to share, just my virtual support!
ReplyDeleteOn Mo, you deserve to have a really solid beta, and not wait and see Betas. You are over 50, and 66% rise range, certainly not numbers to decide it is over. I am praying and sending sticky vibes for strong beta tomorrow. ((Hugs!) Lynne
ReplyDeleteThere's still valid reason for hope. I've had pregnancies with normally doubling betas that didn't end well. With Miss A, beta #2 was only an 86% rise over beta #1, with a doubling time of about 54 hours. I'll be thinking of you tomorrow and hoping for reassuring news.
ReplyDeletepregnant until proven otherwise, pregnant until proven otherwise! i feel for you.
ReplyDelete