If you were looking for clarity, I recommend you look elsewhere.
Things here remain decidedly uncertain. Sigh.
The tests are positive.
A little bit.
Barely.
These lines don't look anything like Magpie's lines did at 7dp5dt, when the beta came back at 69. Today's Icon test looks slightly darker to me than yesterday's, so that's something.
Slighly confounding things, I desperately had to pee at 2AM. I managed to hold it until 3:15AM and then caved. So this isn't exactly first morning urine, and it's not 24 hours from the last test either. But it wouldn't have made that much of a difference, I don't think.
I keep reminding myself that the Denver clinic is happy with a beta hcg of 50 on 9dp5dt (Magpie's was 155 on that day, which was great, but not necessary according to them). To achieve a beta hcg of 50 by Sunday, I would need to be somewhere around 25ish today.
That's not out of the question. These lines could represent numbers like that. But it's iffy.
You guys really buoyed me up yesterday. To be honest, when I posted, I was leaning toward considering yesterday's "line" an evaporation line, and this whole cycle a complete bust, but you convinced me over the course of the day that the line was really there. I came home last night and looked at it again, and you were right. It was a real line.
So are today's lines. But they are certainly nothing to get too excited about.
I spotted through the rest of yesterday on and off. Very light but definite. And I emailed with my Denver nurse who said I could check progesterone and estrogen levels today if it would help me get through the long holiday weekend.
So I am going to try to do that this morning, and while I'm there, see if I can throw in a beta hcg too.
I'm ready to move us from the qualitative to the quantitative. Get a number on the board, low as it might be.
Mild cramping going on right now, breasts very sore. There's something going on in there, digging in or dying off. Hard to say which.
Will has to work 12 hour shifts today, tomorrow, Sunday, and Monday, leaving Magpie and me to our own devices. I've been trying to line up activities and playdates and distractions to get us through. This upcoming long weekend feels particularly long. And not being able to lift Magpie (post-transfer restrictions from Denver) is tricky business with no Will around. I'll let her co-sleep with me this weekend since I can't lift her into her crib. I think she and I will both enjoy that. Her adorable little hands and body hugging against me may be just what I need to make it through the next four nights.
Here are pics of all four pee sticks from yesterday and today. Let me know what you think. *I* think I am single-handedly keeping the HPT economy afloat!
And thanks, thanks so much, for so many of you delurking yesterday to give your two cents on our situation.
Mo
***Edited to add: I was able to get blood drawn this morning for progesterone, estrogen, AND beta HCG. Results are due anytime between now and 5. I'll post as soon as I hear anything!
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Things here remain decidedly uncertain. Sigh.
The tests are positive.
A little bit.
Barely.
These lines don't look anything like Magpie's lines did at 7dp5dt, when the beta came back at 69. Today's Icon test looks slightly darker to me than yesterday's, so that's something.
Slighly confounding things, I desperately had to pee at 2AM. I managed to hold it until 3:15AM and then caved. So this isn't exactly first morning urine, and it's not 24 hours from the last test either. But it wouldn't have made that much of a difference, I don't think.
I keep reminding myself that the Denver clinic is happy with a beta hcg of 50 on 9dp5dt (Magpie's was 155 on that day, which was great, but not necessary according to them). To achieve a beta hcg of 50 by Sunday, I would need to be somewhere around 25ish today.
That's not out of the question. These lines could represent numbers like that. But it's iffy.
You guys really buoyed me up yesterday. To be honest, when I posted, I was leaning toward considering yesterday's "line" an evaporation line, and this whole cycle a complete bust, but you convinced me over the course of the day that the line was really there. I came home last night and looked at it again, and you were right. It was a real line.
So are today's lines. But they are certainly nothing to get too excited about.
I spotted through the rest of yesterday on and off. Very light but definite. And I emailed with my Denver nurse who said I could check progesterone and estrogen levels today if it would help me get through the long holiday weekend.
So I am going to try to do that this morning, and while I'm there, see if I can throw in a beta hcg too.
I'm ready to move us from the qualitative to the quantitative. Get a number on the board, low as it might be.
Mild cramping going on right now, breasts very sore. There's something going on in there, digging in or dying off. Hard to say which.
Will has to work 12 hour shifts today, tomorrow, Sunday, and Monday, leaving Magpie and me to our own devices. I've been trying to line up activities and playdates and distractions to get us through. This upcoming long weekend feels particularly long. And not being able to lift Magpie (post-transfer restrictions from Denver) is tricky business with no Will around. I'll let her co-sleep with me this weekend since I can't lift her into her crib. I think she and I will both enjoy that. Her adorable little hands and body hugging against me may be just what I need to make it through the next four nights.
Here are pics of all four pee sticks from yesterday and today. Let me know what you think. *I* think I am single-handedly keeping the HPT economy afloat!
And thanks, thanks so much, for so many of you delurking yesterday to give your two cents on our situation.
Mo
***Edited to add: I was able to get blood drawn this morning for progesterone, estrogen, AND beta HCG. Results are due anytime between now and 5. I'll post as soon as I hear anything!
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Posts
Oh Mo hang in there! I haven't commented much, but have been reading for years :)
ReplyDeleteAs someone who has had successful pregnancies and some losses (our issue was male factor), I DO see the lines on the FRER. I will also say, I have been reading about FRER's and the last 1-2 years have given evaps that look like BFP's and I myself have gotten 2 that looked super positive but were not (after 4 kids I thought I could tell but these were crazy dark for evaps!)
That said, I have never been a large HCG producer. I have always had tons of morning sickness and no issues during pregnancy, but my betas would be like 60's-100's with all 4 kids and 2 losses. It's just genetics I read that play a part of just not being a large HCG producer and maybe this one is taking after sweet Magpie :)
All my fingers and toes crossed for you and will be waiting for news! I agree, I think anything above 50 is fine!
Kel
Sitting in my clinic's waiting room right now to get started with my third cycle, second FET and hoping hoping hoping for you. Hoping really hard. Those lines are definitely there and for someone who had just taken their first ever pee stick, they'd be enough to start a party! You're just hideously used to second guessing everything, so take heart.
ReplyDeleteHa! You are so right! Thank you for the perspective check. I'm testing positive before beta, which is a really good thing. And yes, I am sadly hideously used to second guessing everything. Thank you!
DeleteGood luck with your cycle - I hope this one is the one for you!
Mo
Mo those lines are there and they're getting darker! I know it's so so hard to allow yourself to hold onto hope in situations like this, but as a stranger who doesn't need to protect my heart in quite the same way, I'm holding onto hope for you. Fingers crossed for some proper clarity with tomorrow's test, thinking of you x
ReplyDeleteThe icon test is definitely darker. For a frozen transfer, I think this looks fine. Really hoping I'm right and they keep getting darker!
ReplyDeleteHi Mo,
ReplyDeleteThe icon test is darker. I can't tell with the FRER because of the light.
I agree that it would be great to add a beta to your other labs
Hoping very hard for you.
Karen
I find FRER's never really get too dark!? But o think you look bang on from how mine were with Lucy (#2). And I started resting at 4 dp as well! Lol! I'm thinking, praying, wishing only good things here Mo! And yes cuddling with MagPie will make the days just that much better!!! ❤️☺️
ReplyDeleteI wanted to add that ICON test does look a lot darker! It's super hard to interpret beta's with the line darkness...like I said, I think 50 and up would be great!
ReplyDeleteAnd yay for testing positive before betas :) My first 3 I was positive by 10dpo but my last one it was FAINT at 12dpo and he is 19 months now.
Kel
I found the new FRER did not get as dark for me as the older version. In fact, they didn't really get dark until I knew my beta was well over a hundred (because yes, sometimes I would test after a confirmatory beta, to make sure things were still good! That is what six losses made me do, before two live babies made it here). Stay positive, you have a sticky embryo in there. Still crossing all our fingers & toes, sending sticky vibes, & prayers. Lynne
ReplyDeletethe lines are there, absolutely...
ReplyDeleteand its still so early, especially as an FET...
this is as good as your gonna get until real betas...
I hope you can slip one in today and get stat results before the end of the day.
but till then, me, those lines are like a tiny firefly alight in the palm of your hand...
enjoy this for exactly what it is, a little bit of hope and beauty, just for today.
Definitely lines. Hoping that if you DO get an HCG today, that it gives you hopeful numbers.
ReplyDeleteI see lines! Fingers crossed!
ReplyDeleteIt always seemed for me that my betas with a frozen transfer were lower. I think your numbers are great! Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteAs a former Medical Technologist, any line I'd see on a hospital test (Icon) is a positive! All my fingers and toes crossed for you.
ReplyDeleteFRERs are great for detecting HCG super early, but over my last 5 1/2 years of TTC, 4 miscarriages and 3 successful pregnancies, I can say FOR SURE that they are the suckiest of all tests for getting darker quickly. Admittedly, I am a POASaholic, but I've had FRERs at 6 weeks with my successful pregnancies look like I would expect them to look at 14dpo - not very dark at all.
ReplyDeleteI'm very cautiously optimistic for you Mo. And I really REALLY hope you can get a beta before Tuesday.
I also see lines and am hopeful, but I know how viciously you must guard your heart in this instance. I think that having Magpie to cuddle with should make the days go faster, and I hope that you find fun and wonderful things to do to keep you so distracted that you don't even notice the days flying by (wishful thinking, I realize).
ReplyDeleteFWIW, I had a dream that you were posting on the blog about room sharing arrangements vs. finding a new place in NYC and so my subconscious is very hopeful for you!
Erin, I love your dream! Room sharing versus finding other living arrangements would be SUCH a great problem to have! When I was in the early stages of pregnancy with Magpie, before we knew anything or had told anyone, my housekeeper came to me and said she had a dream that we were decorating a nursery for a little girl. She turned out to be right.
DeleteThe lines are darker! That's good! They won't be much darker after one day! My first beta at 9dp5dt was 67.... I think my lines would look like yours at this point if I had hpt at home. its still so early, mo! It's positive!! It's getting darker! All good things! You can't compare to magpies numbers. Maybe more embryos had started to implant so you had higher numbers. I had some spotting too around the same time too!
ReplyDeleteThis! Yes! You transfered better quality embies last time. It's quite likely another tried to implant last time. I'm sure my high betas were due to the empty yolk sac seen next to Sunshine on the first u/s.
DeleteThey're darker, that's all that counts right now. Remember that hcg doubles every 48 hours, so if yesterday's beta hcg levels were 20, they wouldn't be expected to be 40 until tomorrow, so today they'd be, what, 30 maybe? That's not a significant increase in hcg, not significant enough to have much darker tests, and yet they ARE darker. This is a good sign!
ReplyDeleteMust repeat after me... blood hcg levels DO NOT directly correlate to urine levels. Keep repeating and carry on :) Looks like it is positive to me and you have two days until beta so things can really take off from here only time will tell. Take care. You are in my thoughts.
ReplyDeleteI'm repeating after you...I promise. Thank you for weighing in!
DeleteI'm repeating after you...I promise. Thank you for weighing in!
ReplyDeleteOk...as we know betas are supposed to double every 48-72 hours. It makes sense that the lines aren't a TON darker at this point. Hang in there. There's definitely 2 lines on those tests and that is awesome!! Fingers crossed that tomorrow's line is easier to interpret. We are anxiously awaiting each day with you. :-)
ReplyDeletethanks, teejay. i'm having a really hard time this go round for some reason. Your rationality really helps!
DeleteYea! One step at a time. A light positive is where all successful pregnancies start out. So hopeful for you!!!
ReplyDeleteI just clicked back to Magpie's test at this point, and while it is a bit darker - not that much. I think you are doing WELL here. VERY WELL. Much better than the alternative! One day at a time. Enjoy the time with your daughter and breathe deeply .... Also try and take a nap!! Tuesday will be here soon - but not soon enough. My very best thoughts to you Mo.
ReplyDeleteI see four perfect little lines (in addition to the four control lines, of course)
ReplyDeleteI definitely see those lines clearly, I hope you can get a beta today. The good news is that you have lines. I agree that Magpie's lines aren't that much darker, and those were probably FMU. We are all rooting for you!
ReplyDeletethank you!
DeleteI see the lines getting darker as well. It's good to not be naive, and to doubt, but here it is quite clear, there are lines, and they are getting darker.
ReplyDeleteYes, indeed. I now see 4 lines. Well, you know, 8. Continuing to keep things crossed for you.
ReplyDeleteI was looking at Magpie's test and this one and there is BARELY a difference. I bet the beta is like 60 instead of 69. Ahh! So happy for you!!
ReplyDeleteI hope you are right! Beta is drawn...so we will see!
DeleteI hope you are right! Beta is drawn...so we will see!
Delete*FLAIL FLAIL FLAIL*
ReplyDeleteIf I, as a well-meaning innernet-lurking stranger, am as het up about this as I am then I can't even imagine how you must feel, but I am hoping for the very best!
MFA Mama, I'm a complete mess this time around. thanks for your good wishes!
DeleteDefinitely lines there and I think you are off to a good start!
ReplyDeleteThose are lines! I'm sure my first test was as light as that one is too :)
ReplyDeleteI definitely think they're getting darker!!! So glad you were able to get a beta hcg drawn, too. You're getting there ... and so far, I do think the news is cautiously optimistic! *hugs*
ReplyDeleteLong time lurker hoping for the best!!!
ReplyDeleteHoping beyond hope for you
ReplyDelete