I'm trying not to freak out over here, but yesterday evening, I noticed I was lightly spotting. A mix of pinkish brown, very light. A little bit of uterine discomfort too. Not cramping exactly, but not feeling so happy in there either.
Hopefully no big deal. Hopefully... (said without conviction).
Unfortunately, it feels like it might be a very big deal. I have had spotting twice before during pregnancies, and each time, it has marked the beginning of the end. So it's hard not to worry and suspect that's what's going on.
To make things even scarier, Will leaves town later today and will be across the country until next Saturday. I've been worried already that I may struggle to handle the PIO injections by myself and that taking care of Ms. Moxie's walk schedule without his help will be a challenge. Now, I'm afraid to move. But Moxie must be walked, so I guess I will rise to the challenge. I'm not even sure about going in to work tomorrow. I just want to sit very still and hope that whatever was going on last night will heal if I just take it very, very easy (ie, recline and lie as still as a statue).
My RE has been out of town this week, so I can't get a reassurance scan from him today. I'm supposed to see my OB for an ultrasound check on Thursday, but I had been thinking I would cancel since Will would be away, and wait for him to return before taking another peek. We had the unfortunate experience of me finding out about a lost baby in his absence during pregnancy #1 and both never want to repeat that again...But now...I'm not sure what to do.
On the positive end of things, I don't seem to be bleeding further today. On a negative, since seeing the spotting, I'm barely hanging on to sanity by a thread.
I know time is what's needed - there's nothing for me to do, nothing I can do to keep the pregnancy going if it's destined to miscarry. But ugh. UGH. You know?
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