Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Prophecy?



Our cleaning woman came this morning and told me she'd had a dream about me and Will. (Yes, I'm embarrassed to say, but we are lucky enough to have a cleaning woman.)

She dreamed that she came into our second bedroom (which over the past five years has more and more taken on the look of an office/ second bedroom/ sometimes storage space), and that Will was decorating a nursery.

He was decorating a nursery, she said, because we were going to have a little baby girl.

Cue me speechless.

Thinking about it, it is likely not a complete mystery to her that we are pregnant. The pregnancy books on my nightstand and my multiple medications, for example, might be a tip-off. But that said, she's unknowingly weathered at least four or five of the last seven pregnancies (I think she wasn't our cleaner for the first three...)...and this is the first dream report. And as she was talking, I wondered if in her culture dreams are taken as more significant - as actually foretelling the future - than they are in mine. I'm not sure for her specific culture, but I wouldn't be surprised.

She knows Will's entire family very well. She was a live-in nanny for his older brother's family in Far East Asia for several years and then in the U.K. with them for a few more years as well. They helped her immigrate to the states when they returned after a number of years abroad, but don't need a full-time nanny any more, and so several members of Will's family have hired her to clean for them on a part-time basis. So...all that to say, she knows that between all of Will's siblings, they have nine sons and no daughters. It would be a very special thing if we were to have the first girl in a family already bursting with children.

Of course it would be a very special thing to have a living child of any gender. And everyone in the family is on board with that.

But anyway, very funny that she had this dream, and that she took the risk to tell me about it. We don't talk about it, but I'm almost certain she knows on some level the great difficulties we've had over the years. She's seen all the syringes and medications, books coming off the shelf about IVF and then going back on the shelf, pregnancy books doing the same, miscarriage books doing the same, pregnancy-after-miscarriage books doing the same...you get the idea (also perhaps that I use reading to cope with stress and loss!)

I like that she had this dream. That maybe, just maybe there is something different about this pregnancy. Something she too can sense. Something that will allow this baby to grow and go the distance.

Tomorrow  at 10:45 AM brings the next visit with the wonderful OB and the next ultrasound. To say I am terrified doesn't even begin to touch how I feel. So hoping for good news. So steeling myself for devastation. Tomorrow will be 9 weeks, 4 days. We've never gotten that far before.

Mo

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65 comments:

  1. I'm SO hoping that her dream means something good is about to happen for you and Will. I will be obsessively checking your blog tomorrow for an update. Keeping everything crossed for you. Nothing but good, positive thoughts coming way.

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  2. I am keeping my fingers crossed for you Mo. I just know that you will be taking home a baby this time. I can feel it.

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  3. It's always such a struggle to stay hopeful! I remember that terror waiting for the next appointment. Man, even just thinking about it now after 2 years makes me emotional. I am sending you all the hope and good vibes I can your way. I wish I could make the fear go away, but sadly my magic wand doesn't work like that. In fact, it's just for show. :P Chin up hun. Here's hoping your cleaning lady's dream is a true sign of good things to come. ((HUGS))

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  4. I am not the type to cognitively believe in dreams and prophecy and such - but in my heart I totally do. I love a good sign like that, and it is significant that she had it now, and told you now. That means something!

    Everything will be crossed for you tomorrow AM. Deep breaths, deep breaths.

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  5. Wow...for this hardened, relatively "unemotional" gal, I teared up reading this! It almost gives me chills...:) And I have a great feeling about tomorrow!

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  6. Well, no matter whether it 'means' something or not, it can't be a bad thing and is awfully sweet of her to even share it with you (especially if she is aware of all you have been through and might suspect that you are pregnant now).

    Well before I was married and once I was, I had many people (psychics, my hematologist) tell me that I was going to have a baby boy (I actually have a post brewing that touches on this) but can't for the life of me recall if anyone ever foretold TWO children. Might be worth a trip to a psychic...

    Tomorrow is a big day indeed. Getting beyond where you've gotten before...magical.

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  7. My thoughts are with you, may tomorrow bring great news and may her dream come true.

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  8. I completely believe in dreams and prophesy. I am going to stand in agreement with her. There's a daughter in there. She will be in that nursery.

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  9. Oh wow. I hope it IS prophetic...and as time goes along, a lot of things really do look like they are falling in place for this baby to come into being- you had set out to have a donor egg baby and everything (all the crappy stuff- I'm so sorry about your sister) so far has steered you to this different outcome. That, to me, seems like the universe working its bizarre machinations.

    I can't wait for you to go to that u/s and find out that everything is just fine!!

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  10. She sounds like a sweet lady, and it's neat that she shared her dream with you and brightened your day. Hoping you get great news from your ultrasound!

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  11. I saved Every. Last. Fortune from a fortune cookie that I ate while I was pregnant with Hen, because they all seemed to be saying the same thing: This is it, enjoy it, it's here.

    And it was, and I did, and he is.

    I personally think you should start picking out a little girl name...

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  12. I love this. I'm so glad that she shared it, and I truly believe that lucky #7 could be yours. We didn't find out gender with my second and I dreamed that she'd be a girl, which she is... dreams are funny things, and I hope and pray that tomorrow holds more good news! Holding you up gently in the light so that the terror might not overtake you-- you are a warrior Mo (& Will) and I so hope (and think that it is) that this is it for you!

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  13. How delightful, both the specifics of her dream and that she shared it, and the ongoing relationship with this woman and Will's extended family. I'd say your betas are consistent with the girl hypothesis!

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  14. I hope that the dream she had does come true. I definitely believe in that sort of thing. I've had dreams of people being sick, animals dying, and dreams about dangerous circumstances that all came true within a week of when I dreamed them. She obviously felt she was guided to share it with you as well even though she could have risked upsetting you.

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  15. I think dreams are a great indicator of what's to come! I know one infertile friend of mine had 3 or 4 women have pregnancy dreams about her and sure enough she was pregnant! Now if we could all have friends/acquaintances that have pregnancy dreams about us!

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  16. May her dream come true, Mo! A little girl would be awesome. I know you might be terrified to dream... but I believe this is it for you guys. Can't wait for tomorrow's good news. xoxo

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  17. Sometimes these things are true. My friend tried for years to get pregnant. I felt foolish telling her, especially when she was so down, but I just had this overwhelming feeling that she was going to have a girl someday. I even bought this adorable pink dress before I had told her anything that said "I'm a miracle!" because I felt so sure. I didn't give it to her though because I didn't feel the time was right. She had a few miscarriages in between and I started to wonder if I was just crazy. But this last time around was different. I just felt it was time to send the dress- after two years of seeing it hanging in my closet everyday. I sent it. Her daughter, Elizabeth, is just over a year now and as cute as can be.

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  18. I think dreams are a good sign. I hope all goes well with the appt tomorrow!

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  19. Tomorrow will be good. I believe in dreams. And I believe in my gut, which is what tells me tomorrow will be good for you, Will, and that little bean. Tomorrow will be so good.

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  20. Love the dream. Fingers crossed for your ultrasound tomorrow... please let this be it!

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  21. Roll with it :) Whether you put much stock into "That type of thing", or not.... just roll with it. Believe me... much stranger things have happened. This is your time.

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  22. Perfect timing for a dream!
    Tomorrow is such a huge milestone and you will be in my thoughts as you gear up for a scary potentially wonderfull day. You need all the encouragement you can get and the fact that it came out of the blue is amazing. I'm picturing waving arms and legs and thumping heartbeats for tomorrow.

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  23. That totally gave me goosebumps! I love the dream. Thinking of you and wishing you the very best for tomorrow. Can't wait to read the good news!!

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  24. Thinking of you today and tomorrow and all the many days of pregnancy you have before you. Big hugs.

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  25. I am keeping you in my prayers (it's a one-word prayer: PLEASE). And hoping that the dream comes absolutely, safely, wonderfully true.

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  26. I do believe in predictive dreams as I've had them myself. I knew my mother was expecting my baby brother long before she showed or told me she was pregnant. Those were the days before gender revealing ultrasounds...

    A friend, who didn't know I was cycling or trying to get pregnant, came to me and told me he had a dream that he was bringing 3 presents to my house shortly before Christmas time, but they weren't for me or my husband. They were for 3 babies. He told me this story the day I found out I was pregnant. He didn't know I was pregnant and that my due date was just before Christmas. Better yet, I didn't know at that point that I was expecting triplets!

    I'm hoping with everything I have that the dream will come true for you.

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  27. I love this! Can't wait to hear how your ultrasound goes!

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  28. Good luck tomorrow! Saying tons of prayers for you...

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  29. Good luck tomorrow! Saying tons of prayers for you...

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  30. I believe in signs my dear and reading about her dream gave me chills. I am praying she is right!

    I too have an ultrasound tomorrow and like you are so scared. Aren't most women excited going into these things. I so wish I could be that way again. And I think part of me is. But, there is still that part of me that is scared shitless.

    I will be stalking your blog for an update tomorrow and praying that you have excellent news to share!

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  31. What a wonderful dream, I hope it comes true and wish you good luck tommarow!

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  32. Beautiful dream. A daughter for Mo and Will. AWESOME!

    I'll be thinking of you like crazy tomorrow morning! Hope you can manage some sleep tonight. xoxo

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  33. I will be thinking of you and praying for you as you go in for your u/s tomorrow. I know the wait must be so, so difficult, but I am hoping that tomorrow will be your first moment to exhale as you get past the furthest you've ever gotten. You deserve an extremely NORMAL pregnancy from here on out, Mo! Hang in there ...

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  34. Glad to hear you have a cleaning lady. I HATE to clean (my Mom made us do it as children EVERY Saturday) and once I earned disposable income, I have hired one too and never looked back. There is no doubt that having a cleaning lady has contributed to our strong marriage.

    You're right that our cleaning ladies know all the details of our livesm including infertility. My cleaning lady and I have become good friends - to the point that when she learned of our last miscarriage, she offered to be our surrogate.

    I agree that the dream was a sign.

    Can't wait for tomorrow's update.

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  35. I've never commented before, but I am hoping so hard for you! Thank you for sharing your journey!

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  36. Lovely dream. Hoping for you! :D

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  37. Awww what an awesome story. I think your sweet cleaning lady is onto something. Fingers crossed for tomorrow. I have had eight miscarriages so I hang onto every word you say for HOPE! Grow baby grow. Much love.

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  38. Awww what an awesome story. I think your sweet cleaning lady is onto something. Fingers crossed for tomorrow. I have had eight miscarriages so I hang onto every word you say for HOPE! Grow baby grow. Much love.

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  39. I know you will get good news tomorrow. Hang in there.

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  40. Well, here's to breaking in new milestones. !!

    As for dreams ... before the treatment cycle that brought us our son, I dreamed vividly of having a baby boy with dark ringlets. Neither my husband nor I have curly hair (mine is ... more uncooperative than curly). Nor do our other children. I was in the hospital and it was taking too long for them to bring him to me (which I think was a reference to the waiting of IF). Nicole Kidman was also in the dream ... in the l&d room down the hall ... also having a baby. This is before she was ever pregnant, but may have been known to be struggling with IF. Her daughter was born a year and a month after my dark, curly haired son. The dream is dated somewhere on the web ... on the message board I frequented while ttc. And also on my old blog somewhere. It was a really bizarre, vivid, different-somehow dream, too.

    I vote for prophecy. :)

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  41. it's funny about superstitions and dreams. I will believe that a plane ride would kill my fetus, but not take stock in dreaming of something in the future. I believe that there is a kidlet coming and hoping like hell that tomorrow is the first of very many HAPPY new things in your life. New territory is terrifying and incredible and I can't wait to welcome you on the road.

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  42. fingers crossed for great news!!! Also, a cleaning lady is a must for two working peeps these days!

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  43. coming from a culture that highly believes in dreams (Iceland), we actually belive in two types of dreasm, one of "fortune" type , and then dreams with hidden meanings,

    fx. to dream a pregnancy means a fresh start, and for some positive changes.

    if you dream shit it is for money (lottery wining etc)

    well I don´t belive in it but I know man that do, and I have sometimes dreamt for things... pregnancies and etc where people hadn´t told me

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  44. Good luck tomorrow!!!!! Thought of you when I read this! http://www.ivfauthority.com/2012/03/ivig-intralipid-therapy-in-ivf.html

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  45. Holding so much hope for you guys and praying that tomorrow brings more reassurance and joy. One day at a time, one milestone at a time and hopefully very soon that precious baby will be with you guys. Definitely loving your housekeepers dream...can hopefully only mean good things.

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  46. Good luck. I truly hope all goes well tomorrow and the rest of the pregnancy.

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  47. Mo and Will, good luck tomorrow. Praying for you guys.

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  48. Prayers for tomorrow, I think about ya'll often! I believe that this is a sign for sure. And a baby girl, icing on the cake. ;o)

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  49. I say believe in the dream Mo.

    All the best for tomorrow. Holding my breath for you from over here.
    xx

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  50. Good luck today!!! Will be checking back for the good news!

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  51. Only the second comment I have written after reading for 2 years is...I have everything crossed and am again holding my breath that the ultrasound goes well and your baby is growing perfectly :)
    I have had 4 miscarriages before 7 weeks (plus 2 beautiful boys inbetween) and holding my breath while staring at the awful white ceiling and waiting for the tech to tell me the outcome has taken 4 massive pieces out of my heart. I know I'm so lucky to have my sweet boys to help fill those empty spaces. I hope this is finally your time xx

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  52. Just wanted to let you know I was thinking about you all this morning.

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  53. My best wishes are with you guys today as well. I have everything crossed.
    Love to you both.

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  54. Sending up strong prayers for you, Will & Lucky #7! Will be thinking about you all morning!

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  55. Thinking of all three of you. I'll be refreshing like a maniac! xoxo

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  56. Thinking of you and sending prayers up for all three of you!

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  57. Count me among the many thinking of you.

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  58. I am chewing my cheeks apart from the inside waiting on the report from your u/s today... So hoping it went well!

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  59. Checking in between client meetings...so hoping for a happy update soon!!

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  60. Here stalking! Can't wait to hear an update! Thinking of you!

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  61. Just checking in on you. Hope all is well.

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