Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Ding dong, the crib is gone

I love going upstate to visit my in laws. They are warm and loving people, and Will is exceptionally close to them. We always have a great time visiting with them, cooking, sightseeing, shopping, and hiking with them around their property.

But one thing that has been a continual thorn in my side during these visits, is the guest room where we sleep. Right next to the bed is an empty crib, stocked with toys. Will's three siblings have mucho kids (there are NINE grandchildren) and I have always tried to remind myself that the youngest of these children is crib age and even if his family only comes up once or twice a year, that's what the crib is there for. I try to overlook the fact that this particular wonderful little boy is almost two years old and has never slept a night in that crib, nor in any crib. He's a bed sleeper that boy, snuggling up next to his mom and dad.

Despite my reasonings with myself, the crib feels like it's been waiting for us to provide grandchild number ten. I've been sleeping next to it, every visit to my in-laws since before our marriage. It stands empty, mocking us for our failure to provide a living child to fill it. Seeing it, and having to sleep next to it, feels like the slow turn of a knife in my viscera. Sometimes literally gut wrenching, the way it brings up our losses, our childlessness, this empty crib.

So I was thrilled to hear through Will that his parents have finally relented and taken the crib apart and put it in the basement. (It also made me wonder, perhaps we're not the only ones feeling a bit hopeless about our reproductive future?)

Not sure what made them finally get with the program, but a part of me suspects it might be the fact that we set up a crate right next to the crib for our new puppy, complete with bedding.

Sadly, a puppy crate is the only crib we need these days.

Move over crib - the new puppy crate is here!

Whatever the reason they decided to dismantle the crib, I am so, so happy to not have to face that empty crib again.

Puppy crate: it's the new crib. Do you think we could start a trend?


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  1. I'm glad that the crib came down, but mostly I'm glad that it made you feel a little better!

  2. How you endured years of the crib is beyond me. Puppies are the most wonderful things on earth, seriously love love love my dog, I really need to share her with the world, so we can both ahh and oww over fur puppies.

    Congrats on the weightloss! You may, or maynot remember, but I too have been suffereing the infertile gains (and losses from depression or illness).
    Not healty enough yet to exercise but I can Not WAIT to get into a hot yoga room and sweet my butt off!

  3. Glad it's gone! Your puppy needs the extra space anyhow. :) Any more recent pictures?

  4. Oh yeah, that's bad. I'm glad they took it down. I think one of the hardest parts about infertility is disappointing everyone else. My Mom is dying for a grandchild and just wants us to MOVE ON and get one (read: adopt) and it's hard enough figuring out what is right for us, much less trying to balance others' expectations.

    Congrats on your weight loss! I need to do the same :)

  5. So glad to hear that they took the crib down. How miserable for you to have to sleep next to it. Ugh.

    Love that you have the dog crate up now :)

  6. bye bye crib!! I don't know how you did it!! my sister left some of her son's stuff with us when she moved out of the city for when it was "our" turn. Needless to say its been disposed of. I bet puppy is happy with the extra space in the room!!!

  7. Ugh. I think sleeping next to a crib would have given me nightmares. So glad she got rid of it, whether from belated sensitivity, or as a response to the puppy-crate-crowding. It's good no matter why.

    As far as the possibility of starting a trend goes, I'm embarrassed to admit that we co-sleep with our whippet. No puppy crate here. In fact, we've had serious discussions of how we're going to keep the whippet out of the bassinet/crib/toddler bed until some future sprog is big enough to shove the pup away on its own.

    Maybe we'll just push two beds together and co-sleep the whole lot of us, under a quilt or three.

    (I am SO going to be a rotten parent. Candy for dinner? Well, I suppose. Since you're so cute & all...)

  8. We have two puppy crates at our house, and they really are a bit like cribs...they even go with us when we travel! :-) So glad the crib came down. Not sure how you stood it for so long!


  9. How depressing to have to sleep next to that crib! Crates are a kind of crib, we always have several around the house and they travel with us as well. My parents call our dogs their grandbabies!

  10. I glad they took it down, that had to difficult. A puppy can bring you love and I think that it's just what you need right now.


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